[United Stupidity]

More Fillers... =/

2010-09-08T21:16:00.002+08:00

Mega-post under construction. ETA end of this week..
In the meanwhile, some stuff to occupy you during the Sept hols:

1) Birthdays!!!

Happy Birthday Moneyseeker and Twit!!!
Haha you probably know both of 'em quite well.. Pretty famous in these parts =p (for the right or wrong reasons, it's hard to tell...) But anyway they're both great 'tards so what does it matter? XD

2) Movies

Loads of great stuff I've missed due to the stupid hectic JC schedule =( Haven't watched Iron Man 2, Ip Man 2, Alice In Wonderland, Despicable Me, Inception, SALT, Kickass, The Sorceror's Apprentice, Robin Hood, Sherlock Holmes, blah blah blah.... T_T

But for those I DID watch?

The Expendables - Hmm. Pretty mixed reviews.. Although its main cast is nearly entirely made up of kickass actors, some people criticize the plot, saying it's quite cliched and that some of the actors don't live up to their names... Particularly Arnold I'll-Be-Back Schwarz-whatever... He made a cameo in which he just walked around and talked (still, it's only a cameo =/ wonder why people are so worked up about it. not like he's the main actor).. But what's there not to like???
We're retards, right? Simple stuff makes us happy xD so...lots of BOOM!!! EPIC WIN!!!
But honestly, the action scenes are awesome shit. Definitely worth watching..

She's Out Of My League - pretty suprising, this one. Not too bad.. Typical romance comedy. Watched it on a class outing, expected it to be boring but it was actually quite worth it. Some really funny moments..ohh and the main characted JIZZED IN HIS PAAAANTS!!! XD hahaha and no, not because of a breeze rollin' in. Lonely Island ftw =p

Mr Bones 2 - You probably have never heard of this one. It's a South African production if I'm not mistaken.. (don't worry, it's in English) The plot revolves around these two dudes from a tribe who somehow get transported to modern times.. and how they need to return a stolen gemstone to remove a curse on their king. Simple? No. Hilarious? Hell yeah!! I mean, put two retards near strange machinery... It's like - Ooh. What does this button do??? xD

3) Games

Haven't had the time to play much. Although I've started to like the Command and Conquer series a lot nowadays, and not just because of Red Alert 2 (sigh. Good times...) Rather, I'm referring to Generals and Tiberium Wars. The multiplayer gameplay somehow doesn't get old, even though I've played it quite a lot.. and that says something.

Besides, what else do you need?? HALO REACH!! IS COMING!!! XDDDD and guess what... my 360 has got the red ring of death =( nice timing eh? (although it was in June, you get the idea) I got to play the Beta like I said and from what I've heard of the real deal... Use your imagination.

4) Music

Disturbed has released a new album - Asylum. The general impression is typical Disturbed.. but way, way darker. The title track says it all - go watch the music vid on Youtube. It's freaky, to say the least. And leaves this lasting impression on your mind... It's about an asylum inmate who can't stand the torture by the staff and keeps on trying to escape and end his suffering.. the bleak atmosphere of the vid blends in completely with the moody guitar riffs.. and the ending is screwed up. Like A Little Piece of Heaven but for this, I can't find anything to laugh at.. Overall as an album it comes through really well.. In general the lyrics are quite deep and do have an intended meaning that comes across quite strongly. There's a song about global warming and environmental destruction, there's a song about the Holocaust.. and the singer's soaring vocals does them justice. The guitarwork is much better than before as well.. Check out The Animal, Sacrifice and Another Way To Die.

Avenged Sevenfold's "Nightmare" is coming as well. Since the death of the Rev (still quite sad.. he's one of the most talented drummers and singers that I've heard so far), I thought they might disband. Well, looks like they recorded material with him prior to that and they released it with Dream Theater's drummer Mike Portnoy filling in.. I've only heard the title track as well but believe me, it looks set to be awesome as well. Comes in with an awesome riff, Shadows is still good as always and the bridge, reminiscent of Critical Acclaim, has the same powerful rhythm with Shadows' shouting creating this amazing effect.. You gotta hear it. Period.

As for Linkin Park, "A Thousand Suns" was supposed to be a ground-breaking album. I've heard part of their first single, The Catalyst.. and believe me, it's surprising, to say the least. Now you probably noticed they've altered their musical style quite a lot over their career, from Nu-Metal with elements of Rapcore in Hybrid Theory to more of a hard rock sound in Meteora, they've mixed in hip-hop with Jay-Z in Collision Course, and they've done alternative, and even pop in Minutes To Midnight, which happens to have a wide range of influences... But The Catalyst.. sounds like..TECHNO!!!! WTF???

Yep. It sounds like techno. Like those melodies from Axel F - Crazy Frog and the like.. The sounds you hear from a typical disco in JB.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? No I'm not. And it turns out to be quite catchy... there's the usual ranting from fans everywhere but I'm interested to see how the whole album turns out.. I'll hold my comments..for now...

So go forth and enjoy =D
[J0HnA55]

Post on the way! meanwhile... CUUUTE ^^

2010-09-05T23:29:00.003+08:00

Random Musings

2010-06-10T23:07:00.003+08:00

mmhmm. Guess this will be quite a different post.
Most of em around here are about music, movies, games and stupidity in general. But this one is about stuff that happens, the shit we face every day and what not. This ain't gonna happen often (or else I'd become permanently emo =/) so what the heck..

I haven't had much time to post stuff here for the past few months, let alone play games, guitar, eat, shit, etc... Just had so much to do, so much on my mind, it's hard to find time for everything. Blame it on what you will...excessive schoolwork, excessive schoolwork, excessive schoolwork...anything I miss? oh yeah. Excessive schoolwork...

sigh. this post gonna be delayed a little longer. Trying to find the right words.. hope you understand.

IT'S READY

2010-03-04T22:27:00.006+08:00

Sorry for the RETARDEDLY long post delay (ironic huh)
Just to fill you in the facts..

Ben has been BENISHED. Since a month ago.
As you know, I stepped down to Assistant Supreme Leader.
However, he was convicted of heresy. Bad, bad heresy.
He crowned Stitch the king. (it's a stuffed toy)
And since someone (or something) else is Supreme Leader,
This is a direct breach of Retard Law, which states that:

The Supreme Leader/Retard Council has complete power
The Retard Council acts on behalf of the Supreme Leader
The Supreme Leader is indeed, supreme. No exceptions.
(Rebellion is another matter =p)

Therefore, he is BENISHED. That's a new term.
And it's worse than exile..A lot worse.
Exiled retards still can do loads of stuff. Look at MegaDeath.
But BENISHED retards?

They have no rights. They have no say.
And they long to be unbenished one day XD
haha being lame lol

So..who is this new Supreme Leader?
Who is taking over for another month?
You all dying to find out???
How do you keep a retard in suspense?

..I'll tell you anyway =p

ALL HAIL KING GEORGE!!! XD
He's a...toy horse.
Seriously. I've been a little stressed recently.
So I handed the mantle of leadership to him... (at least for a while)
Now I am Prime Minister of Stupidity..
Bugs is promoted to the Vice Prime Minister..
Which vice? All of 'em =D HAHA

...don't complain. after all, it is retarded =p

Anyway..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHJCvJSnyyg
Communist Roll'd
This stuff is epic. Damn funny.
Go see for yourself..

And an EPIC video. The best I've seen all year.
Maybe better than last year's...
Presenting... Mario Vs Spartan 2...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJr9VLMnOP8
It's awesome stuff. The guy who made it was a genius..lol

And now..BIRTHDAYS!!! =D
since I haven't been posting much, this is kinda big.
Happy Birthday to J, Izz, Bugs AND Dumbortz!!!
All the above douches have been integral to our society.
Valued tards. Hehe.

A Message From Martin
-----------------------------
What's with the emo quote
you an emo now?
You cutting yourself now you emo?
what kind of emo emoticons you using now?
emotional emo emoticons emoting on my evoked evolving emotional computer
So stop being so emotional you emo
-------------------------------

Not much different from his other messages...
They all make retarded sense! Haha

Ok, seriously, sorry for the long delay.
I was really busy..College life is killing me..
I hardly have time to do other shit.
A lot of things on my mind too.
So I kinda forgot about posting -_-
Don't worry though..
This blog will not die as long as I'm alive =p
Or any one of you for that matter.. haha

Introductions! A new country has joined our organisation!
...Myanmar! Also known as Burma!
umm...our new member has not signed up officially yet.
Suffice to say, he is part of the [US] zoo in my school XD
He is a bird. That's all you need to know for now...hehe
So he joins our colourful ranks..
Alongside the thigger, mouse-bear, pig, sponge, ploth..
What a confusing lot =D

Alright. Now for some epic stuff.
Recently I went over to Halodude's house.
Basically, we spent most of the time playing the beta.
The beta? What beta?

....HALO REACH BETA!!!
WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!11!!1

I must admit it's a lot different from Halo 3...
Only the online multiplayer was out..so we headed to LIVE
The main gametype available was Spartans Vs Elites.
Something like Team Slayer, but with some CoD MW mixed in.
Basically, you choose a class each time you spawn.
Each class comes with a specific weapon/grenade loadout...
...and a powerup. Rechargeable (sorta like cooldown time)
They're no longer pickups.
The more your team scores, the more classes become available..
(I think)
Most of the weapons are different. Similar but feels kinda funny.
And there were hardly any weapons on the map...strange.
Hmm..maybe it's still in progress..

But the weapons are kinda awesome.
Besides trivial differences such as ammo, damage and speed...
(I dunno the names of the weapons)
The Covenant Carbine is replaced with the Needle Rifle.
Single shot needle. Not bad at all.
There's a Human Grenade Launcher.
It can detonate grenades automatically or manually...
Think mines. And think of the possibilities XD
And there's a Covenant Grenade Launcher.
It needs to be locked on to the enemy. And charged.
Like a Spartan Laser of sorts...
But it fires....PLASMA GRENADES o_O
AND IT HOMES....
MUAHAHAHAAHA XD
The Plasma Rifle is changed too I think. oh well.

Now for music...
Check out Skillet.
It's mostly rock.. main singer's a guy with a female backup.
Music style is kinda mixed..Nice range of stuff.
For starters, check out these songs:

Hero
Monster
Believe
Awake And Alive

you can go get their album if you want.
Most of the songs are pretty decent...

As for the band...
We're going to participate in two major events in June.
Festival of Arts and Battle of the Bands...
AND WE STILL HAVEN'T MET UP ONCE YET!!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAH........... ><
Haha but I have confidence in our capabilities...
as long as we stick to easier songs though =p
Come by and support us hehe.
We'll need it...

Oh and I'm in the middle of exams rite now..
But during the hols I'm gonna resume The Finale XD

[J0Hna55]

Blah Blah..Blah...etc

2010-02-28T19:34:00.005+08:00

let's start off with more vids....
Chonny. I don't think I mentioned him.
The pocky and the Crack Baby vids...
Anyway..check these two out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lb_sfdylkw&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lb_sfdylkw&feature=channel

they're both epic.
and check out the other two if you haven't seen them.
Funny? As hell.

next up, Failblog.
just watch whatever you want
it's all retarded, don't worry

http://www.youtube.com/user/failblog#p/u

and finally, this is is just stupid.
but it fits
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3Y0jmor2uQ

on a more "serious" note....
THE TRAILER FOR HALO - REACH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqIEvH7sGQ0
and to imagine I thought Halo graphics were epic in P1

....now for some music
Just listing some bands for fun
Creed - six feet from the edge, higher
Seether - Broken, Fine Again, Gasoline, Careless Whisper

ok. here's some entertainment.
Try and understand this MSN convo

Izz Nenemy says:
OI
[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
IO
Izz Nenemy says:
DOOD
[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
DOOD?
Izz Nenemy says:
DUDDY DOODY??
[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
DOODY DUDDY
Izz Nenemy says:
BRO?
[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
ORB!

Izz Nenemy just sent you a nudge.

[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
lol
wassup
Izz Nenemy says:
?
Dood
how
=
=
==
are you even there man
?
uggh
[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
yeah
durh
why?

Izz Nenemy appears to be offline.

you get it? LOL
must be technical difficulties...
otherwise a promotion is in order =p

and speaking of bands...
it looks like there's hope for the FOA after all.
firstly, we've more or less decided on practice dates.
Should be Thursday evenings at Hop Music Studio.

But more importantly...

we've got a vocalist.
Finally.
Now Fab and I don't need to worry about playing and singing.
At the same time.

Who is he?
Izz Nenemy - TSN Hater (Silver)
he actually sings well.
check out this ORIGINAL song

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1341977623701&ref=mf

and here are the lyrics

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.
I can’t Believe, I Fell In Love with You.
I Gave You My Heart, but You Threw it Away.
Now You just Leave Me with One Thing to Say.......

I can’t Believe it’s ending this way
We’ve been together for Three Long years
Isn’t there anything that would get you to stay
I’m crying over you, the tears are ruining the beer.

Maybe it’s time for me to move on anyway
So many other fish in the sea
It makes me wonder if you cared about me
Now if you didn’t or you did it just doesn’t matter to me.

[Chorus]
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
You say that chivalry is dead
Why do you think he’s kinda cute?
To Live is to love
But with Love it might hurt
I used to Love you girl
But I think that it’s over.
I think it’s over....

Hey girl after we went our separate ways
I went to college, you left like a Breeze
I actually thought that I’d be lost without you
But on the first day of college, a girl as pretty as can be
.......Walked Up To Me......
We hit it off and I was happy as can be
She seemed to have an interest in me
So we hooked up and guess what I can see
I saw that she really does love me.

[Chorus]
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,
You said that chivalry is dead
Well She thinks I’m Kinda cute
To live is to Love
But with Love it might hurt
I used to Love you girl
Now I think I’ve found another.
I’ve found another.

Hey Girl!
You leaving was the best thing that happened to me
I was sad when you first left me
But I bounced back as great as can be.
And now with the strength I have
I think I can finally move on without you
With my new Girl By my side
I Love her I really do
But it seems the thing you left me with to say
Was I still Love you.

[Chorus]
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
When went our separate ways
You broke my heart in two
To Live is to Love
But with Love it might hurt
I have a new girl
But I think I still Love you.

Now it seems I never got over you.
And I’m pretty sure that I still love you.

Not bad, huh?
Lyrics in some parts are a little funny...
but otherwise - yeah. Holy shit.
Now all he needs is a band.
Hmm...I wonder where we can find one....
He can also solve the lyrical mental block Fab and I face

I would have asked Sponglie to be our singer..
cuz her voice is freakin' awesome.
can do Evanescence, Nightwish etc sounds fine to me
But she's in Singapore....argh.
I hate these distance problems.

and I'm drowning in homework.
Well, not really drowning.
Struggling, maybe.
But yeah. Life's good =D

[J0HnA55]

Awards, Awards...

2010-02-21T17:40:00.004+08:00

Meh. I've got nothing to do.
So here's a list of retards who've made the "Honors List"

J0HnA55 - I Own This Shit

'nuff said XD. I'm a dictator, I gotta mention myself.
It's all part of the role =p
incidentally, [US] can be described as a Democratic Dictatorship.
Paradox? Not really. You 'tards can vote for shit.
Not that it always works though XD
but then again, I organize every single damn thing...
Tiring, but worth it. Hell yeah.

Bugs/Lord Megadeath

Spam Record.
For the record, 129 Messages. 12/4/08
See why they're the reigning H4xx0rs?
Bugs is also the leading contributor for posts.
Lord Megadeath...well, he's Supreme H4xx0r.
and they both avoid getting wet as much as possible.
Bleh.

Halodude4Eva

The Halodude
What would the honors list be without this guy?
Besides starting this whole thing....
Well, that's enough to be included here anyway =d

Soap Lord

Most Retarded
Everyone will agree here.
Take that day a few years ago.
My centre's shutter was halfway down.
Three people passed through without incident.
Soap? Lock straight to the forehead.
Shuter flew up, sounded like CNY fireworks.
Plus the ton of quotes he's provided...
Speaking of quotes...

Street2Fifa

Most Enthusiastic
He's made half the quotes here.
Besides those from Bugs and me, of course.
And look at all those videos.
Mr Party Boy. Deserves it.

J

Most Parties
AND THIS, WE REALLY WANNA CELEBRATE!!!!
WOOHOOOO!!! JP FOREVER!!! HAHA

Dumbortz

Most Dense
Actually, a tossup between him and J.
But he's slightly ahead XD congrats

Ichabot

Fastest promotion record.
Made it from Bronze to Gold in the space of 6 hours.
Mind you, both promotions were due to individual events.
I remember one of them was the "Watch Incident"
You know...wearing eight watches to assembly.

oh and here's a new quote.
his braces fell off. yup, the whole thing.
he told me on msn, i wuz like WTF?
that's just retarded.
he said

why?
it fell off when i was eating
i think it's normal

you see why? you see why?

Sponglie

2nd fastest promotion record. Most promotion skips.
New member? On the honors list?
How about this?
Within 3 days - Bronze to Platinum with Dishonor.
SERIOUSLY. OMG. WTF?
and it ain't all about bias.
skipped bronze - straight to silver
why? gender disequality issues. blame bugs.
he scares away all the girls. Haha.
but really. first girl to join voluntarily.
that's a milestone for us.
one step closer to bugs' goal of world domination =p
skipped gold to platinum.
due to a TON of freakin retarded videos.
made by a group of people, almost up to our standard.
The implications?

...we are not alone ;D

yeah. so we're entering negotiations right now..
union of similar minded retards! hehe

finally, platinum with dishonor.
basically, I asked a fiendishly difficult question.
A bunch of the new 'tards got to participate.
The reward? PLATINUM WITH DISHONOR!!!
yeah, that hard.
She solved it first. Within ten minutes.
So - promotion due to unusual intelligence.
Well, I need an official reason eh XD
and this was all perfectly normal procedure.
In no way is the Supreme Leader making any concessions.
Or showing extraordinary bias, or favoritism.
Seriously.
Trust me.

the magic words =D haha
Besides..I wonder who the Supreme Leader is...
ok. serious now.
there's some real big stuff goin down.
can't tell much about it, but it's HUGE
and stupid. yes, very, very, very stupid =p
here's a sampler.

I, [J0HnA55] - Classified (I Own This Shit),
Supreme Leader of United Stupidity,
hereby resign for one retard term (unknown period)
p.s. when it's over I'm back in business ;D

yeah. huge, huh?
but the obvious question -
WHO THE ******************** IS THE NEW LEADER???

stay tuned
[J0HnA55]

100th post!!!

2010-02-17T21:31:00.002+08:00

argh, I really can't hold back any longer.
Since y'all have been so patient, the first part of the Finale!
It's at the end of this post.
But first, some shit to go through.

Ok, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN AKA MR PANSY!!!!
yeah. although this post be a couple of days late.
boy, retard birthdays are hard to remember.
Please help by spamming in the cbox when yours is approaching.

Here is an excerpt from a conversation:

[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
gah
what to do for friday...

LukZ.... says:
dunno
i hv no idea

[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
sunday morning XD u think u can do?
or something simpler

LukZ.... says:
i don't know
i think i can do it
the verse only
i mean

karthik says:
seoul garden, botak jones, gym, music

[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
WTF

says it all. Example of pure stupidity.
Besides, the Karthik following in school is getting huge.
Well, it's growing slowly at any rate.

---------------------------------------------------
OK, folks. All updates to be posted in this section
cuz it's here. officially.
---------------------------------------------------

ignore the earlier posts dating back to last year...
this is the new shit. there’s stuff I wished I had thought of earlier.
throughout the story, I’ll try to include as many ‘tards as possible.
so…enjoy. or else =p

oh, and some credits first.
first, to Bugs, for giving me loads of stupid ideas for this story
to Lord MegaDeath, who has suffered two years of exile waiting for this
to all the other retards, for being the subject of this epic tale
and of course, to the douche who is reading this.

---Foreword---

How do you write a story?

Some people come up with wild, fantastic ideas.

Some people take those ideas from others.

And some people use their own, real life experiences.

All of them work. But a good story?

From an average writer?

It needs a balance of all three.

-----------
Prologue – Sometime in 2008
-----------
Background info: Halodude is leader of [US]. Soap Lord is asst leader.

The members of the Retard Council filed into the dimly lit chamber one by one, taking their usual places on the stone benches that encircled the stand in the centre. Last to enter was the patriarch of the retards, Halodude. As he made his way in, the mellifluous hum of conversation ceased at once. The tension in the air was palpable. It was the first anniversary of their formation, and there was certainly cause to celebrate, yet there was something inexplicably different about today. Perhaps it was the rumours of unrest, that the citizens were not content with the state affairs. Perhaps it was the murmuring around every corner, that rebellion was in the air. Perhaps someone farted. However, unknown gas emissions were commonplace, and the council would have evacuated long ago, or put on their standard-issue gas masks. No, something was amiss, something that no one present could pinpoint, yet all felt it without exception. Or, as one of the guards outside the door commented to his partner, “Something’s going down, man. I’m sure of it…”

Halodude cleared his throat and began to speak. The following debate was going to be of the utmost seriousness, and he would set the tone of the meeting.

Halodude: Wassup y’all! How’s shit?

Retards: *mumbling*

Halodude: You guys sound dead…Wtf?

Retards: *mumbling*

Halodude: Seriously… You haven’t had breakfast or what?

Soap Lord: Dude, you ate mine, remember!

Halodude: Hey, that was a mistake…besides, I was hungry..

Dumbortz: But then Soap ate mine!!!

J: And mine too!!

Retards: *general uproar*

All of a sudden, J0HnA55 gets to his feet.

J0HnA55: Silence!!!

Retards: *general uproar*

J0HnA55: Everyone, STFU!!!

Retards: *general uproar*

J0HnA55 pulls out some munchies.

Retards: *conspicuous silence*

J0HnA55: You guys want more of this?

Retards: *specific uproar*

J0HnA55: Bring ‘em in, MoneySeeker!

The doors burst open and MoneySeeker brings in a cart filled with munchies.

Retards: *frenzied charge towards munchies*

Bugs: Psst…J0HnA55

J0HnA55: What?

Bugs: Everything’s going according to plan.

J0HnA55: I know…I made the plan, stupid.

Bugs: Ok, dumbass. How about some breakfast first?

J0HnA55 and Bugs join in the stupidity around the cart. After a bit…ok, a lot, of breakfast, Bugs picks up a cream pie and throws it at J0HnA55’s face.

J0HnA55: Isn’t this a bit clichéd?

Bugs: Yeah, it is. Isn’t that the idea?

J0HnA55: Ah, what the hell. FOOD FIGHT!!!

In the ensuing confusion, MoneySeeker leaves the chamber and locks the doors from outside. No one notices it. Slowly, the retards tire. Then, Bugs makes his move.

Bugs: Hey, Halodude.

Halodude: Yeah?

Bugs: Eat this! *Throws a sack of flour at Halodude*

Halodude: Hey, WTF!! *blinded by the flour*

Retards: *cough* *hack* *wheeze* WTF?!

When the smoke…err…flour clears, Halodude and Soap Lord are seen gagged and bound in the center of the room. J0HnA55, Bugs and Lord MegaDeath are standing in a triangle around them.

J0HnA55: Fellow retards! We have long suffered under the tyranny of these two! Now is the time to rise, and break the shackles that have restrained us all this while!

Retards: Yaaaay!!

Dumbortz: Err…didn’t you make Halodude the leader?

J0HnA55: That’s not the point…As I was saying, we must rise against our oppressors!

Retards: Yaay!!!

J0HnA55: We shall make a stand for the good of retardkind!

Retards: Yay…!

J0HnA55: We will blah, blah, blah, bla bla……

Half an hour later….

J0HnA55: …now! *glances at crowd*

Retards: *snoring*

Bugs: *yawns* I think you overdid the speech again…

J0HnA55: *sigh*. Well, at least it worked. We’re in control.

He opens a packet of chips noisily. The retards spring awake at once.

J0HnA55: Rebel! Free munchies for all rebels!!

Retards: Yaaaay *go off to rebel*

Halodude: *grumble* *grumble*

Soap Lord: It isn’t so bad. Here, have some munchies!

Chapter One - Coming soon...

Just for laughs updated

2010-01-27T21:29:00.003+08:00

I know, intellectual stuff does not fit in well here XD
but this is priceless. seriously.
don't worry if some of the technical terms bother you.
just read, you'll get the gist of it.

The following is an actual question given on a University chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting “Oh God!”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”

...nice exam answer, to say the least.
and here is some shocking information:

I'm going to stop posting.

Until the finale is over XD
Yup, it should be done in 2 weeks, max.
It's kinda fitting that the finale is the 100th post.
So read everything before this, quick.
Cuz the post is gonna be so huge....
everything is going to be pushed back to earlier posts.
and you 'tards are too lazy to go back XD (generalization)

*update*

yeah, i'm sticking to the 100th post thing.
we had a massive promotion campaign at school
helping me were ben and kartiki
speaking of kartiki (previously Spartan777)
he's promoted to platinum w/dishonors.
for UTTER STUPIDITY - making a jackass of himself in school.
in public. (well the canteen anyway)
and he's sorta got a cult following. go figure.
anyway I thought up a new "interview" for recruits.

Q1) What is your name?

Q2) What is your race?

Q3) Are you as dumb as you look?

I cannot reveal the model answers. Hehe. Everyone have a go anyway.
In the cbox.

Before I forget, here they are -

You Heard Me - God

god of what? i dunno. good freakin question.
heard what? i dunno. good freakin question.
what? i dunno - ah, screw it.

Osama - Your Mom

besides that the fact that you were born from a bearded terrorist....
wait, that's enough. freaky as it is.

Sponglie - The Sponge

Wow. What a poetic title. It's just coincidental.
I mean, how can it fit with the name so perfectly?

The former two start at Bronze, Sponglie at Silver.
Why? Unbalanced member list, I suppose.
Sponglie is the 3rd female member in [US]
ok Bugs. Stop bugging me about the need for female members, bugger.
hehe.

and I wake up every morning
With a big smile on my face
And it never feels outta place.

for the first time in years.
amazing, huh?

[J0HnA55]

Panic! At the Junior College?

2010-01-27T11:55:00.004+08:00

cuz I'm gonna live a life from a new perspective XD
but seriously.
School posting results just came out.
I'm headed to Innova JC. hmmm. good? or bad?
put it this way, we have five retards headed there.
So....good =p

Me, Ichabot, Josh, the "unknown" retard and Mr Pansy (ben)
quite a "motley crue"..HA. HA.
(plus a swarm of potential recruits)
but enough with the music jokes.
this could be a good thing.
One, for the band.
Kenny (ichabot) is a great guitarist, ben is good at keyboard.
if we ever need a 3rd guitar/backup for Untold Prophecy...
it should either be ichabot or martin.
Martin just rocks. But he's always busy.
and his music tastes are a little...underground.

Anyway, since the JC is in Woodlands, travel comes easy.
I really hope school finishes in the late afternoon.
If I can make it back by evening, along with ben...
then band practice wouldn't be a problem XD
Hop Music is open for jamming on weekdays. Not on weekends.
Seems like business suicide to me, but I'm not in business =d

As for the band, the page will be up on Facebook soon.
I'll create it the moment we record the first cover.
the whole "cover" thing is actually quite useful...
firstly, we gain experience by playing songs as a band.
writing our own songs will come eventually, but not yet.
secondly, we will improve in our own playing skills.
thirdly, there's a sense of accomplishment, I suppose.
and also as a kind of advertisment XD that we can do stuff.

right now, I'm really going nuts with guitar training.
my fingers ache while typing this post.
practiced for like six hours yesterday..but it was fun.
I'm trying to master at least five songs a week.
Then I'll practice with Fab. That's the guitar down.
All we need is for drums and bass to start too.
I got my first Synyster Gates solo =p
it's at the end of The River by Good Charlotte

Of course, the main problem is instruments.
One guitarist has no electric guitar.
The bassist has no bass.
And the keyboardist only has a grand piano. No synthesizer.

Oh well. I suppose nothing comes easy.

[J0HnA55]

It was fun while it lasted

2010-01-26T15:24:00.003+08:00

Well, school starts for me in two days.
Sien...

First up, I shall keep good my promise.
I've begun writing the "Finale"
Only it isn't a finale, I'm re-writing the whole damn thing.
A lot better now ( I think)
And it's gonna be huge.

Next, retard holidays.
I've set this list up

23/5 - "National Day" (formed on this day)

24/9 - "Emergence Day" - The blog was founded XD

plus assorted retard birthdays...

and events such as JP. But then again, it's not fixed.

third, more "words of stupidity" from Bugs and me
in a telephone conversation format

*telephone rings*

JA: Hello?

Bugs: Hello, Matthew's House?

JA: Uhh..what?

Bugs: Oh, sorry. I thought I was talking to Matthew's House.
It said so on my phone.

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: *spastic laughter*

this continues for a while.
the masterpiece - Bugs was peeing in the toilet.
I said something stupid (didn't know he was peeing)

Bugs: Haha..don't make me laugh. I'm peeing

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: OI

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: *spastic laughter*

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: OH SHIT, IT'S SPRAYING EVERYWHERE!!!

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: *spastic laughter*

then I dropped the phone and fell over.
good times XD

just to give a preview, here's an excerpt from the prologue

"It was the first anniversary of their formation, and there was certainly cause to celebrate, yet there was something inexplicably different about today. Perhaps it was the rumours of unrest, that the citizens were not content with the state affairs. Perhaps it was the murmuring around every corner, that rebellion was in the air. Perhaps someone farted. However, unknown gas emissions were commonplace, and the council would have evacuated long ago, or put on their standard-issue gas masks.."

at least 5 chapters in the story.
The 300 part will be there, as well as Halo, Tenacious D and loads more.
But it might take a while. I'm outta ideas...
MegaDeath! Do something...

[J0HnA55]

As days go by...

2010-01-22T23:14:00.004+08:00

my heart grows cold
I can't seem to let this all pass me by
Take Me - Papa Roach

heart grows cold? lunch, more like it.
Not like Fab would let that happen if he's around.
I gotta learn self defense during meal times...

But it's true. The days go by damn fast.
Hols are almost over (for me, that is. And Ben and Jon)
Let's not go into the whole complaining thing for now.
However, time is running out for me.
And not cuz my JC posting results are out soon.
I'm supposed to start on the finale before hols are over.
So...any ideas? Anybody?? Help??
From what I remember, Soap Lord was busy in Crapture.
And the Gears of War invaded. ok.... so what now?
this might take a while. MegaDeath!! Do your job as h4xx0r!!
launch an invasion or something. I'm bored to death.

But here is some stuff I may use:
Halo (duh)
Lord of the rings
Harry Potter
Avatar (cuz its awesome)
Scroggin

As to the last, it's kinda of an inside joke.

What is Scroggin?
Doesn't sound like something you should eat XD
actually, it's New Zealand cadbury choclate.
Jon brought some back when he came.
I'll save some for you eh =p
then again, when I say "you"...first come first serve

but seriously. Scroggin.
It sounds...retarded. That's the way.
Well, it's just another name in our history of Stupidity.
It will be remembered.
Cuz love doesn't make the world go round.
(at least, not all the time)
Stupidity does.

so anyway Jon goes back on Sunday.
We 'tards won't see each other for a while.
Jon in NZ, Ivan in Mount Austin...
J in Kulai, me and Ben in Singapore... rest of u in JB.
Not even including the SSU ppl.
(Which reminds me, I gotta initiate them soon =p)
but we can meet on weekends. some of us.
or every day. They made Facebook for a reason.

By the way, go watch Tooth Fairy.
It's worth it. Trust me.
Hmm...that sounds familiar too.

Scroggin Is Retarded.
[J0HnA55]

BREAKING NEWS

2010-01-11T20:04:00.006+08:00

and its not about the O Level Results...
You know that seriously epic-awesome-cool movie, Avatar?
15 Years in the making they say...should be epic right?
Well, at least the technology and graphics. Undisputed.
But how about the plot?
Director's the dude who made the Titanic.
So it should be an original, exciting, moving plot?
Exciting, moving, awesome maybe. But original?
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS SHIT

sry that it's small, try saving and zooming in..but..
Amazing, huh?
I saw all kinds of references in the show...
But not on this scale. Nope. No way.
Of course, I wouldn't remember the plot of old Disney shows..
Plus one that I watched when I was like...four?
But seriously. WTF?

In shock and awe,
[J0HnA55]

sheesh

2010-01-09T22:33:00.002+08:00

this is a public service announcement
It is purely to stop complaints from "subversive elements" XD
Moneyseeker has been unexiled (a few months ago)
and cleared of most charges...note the wording
He produced an iPod, but due to "unfortunate" circumstances..
Bugs and I are unable to accept them. Me, at least.
But at least he produced it. That returns some credibility.
Even though it was well over the deadline.

So in order not to spoil all of your moods...
(I know. It does it to me too)
Here is some hilarious shit.

"Reasons to sleep with an IB student"
(replace IB with whatever the hell you want)

We can serenade our partners in at least 2 different languages
Our Physicists are experts at handling the forces between two objects
Our Biologists know their way around the human body better than any other 6th form student
The chemistry in a relationship is mere child’s play to our higher Chemists.
Our Mathematicians’ knowledge of projectile motion means that things will never get messy – unless you want them to
We are experts at getting the maximum amount of work done with the least amount of effort
Our English syllabus puts a lot of emphasis on oral assessment
It's widely recognised that IB is longer and harder
Our Computer Scientists can push all the right buttons
Our Economists know just how to supply what you demand
A session with one of our Pyschologists will relieve stress and help you sleep at night; and I'm not talking about Insomnia Therapy
We IBers fall asleep in class so that we can get more done at night.
We treat you like we treat our homework - we slam you on the table and do you all night long
Our Geographers know what to push and how to pull
Essays aren't the only long thing we can pull out of our pockets at a moment's notice
Our musicians will bring things to a slow swell followed by a climax
We can assess you both externally and internally.
Our Historians will make it a night to remember
Our Design & Technology students can handle a short nail or a long screw
Our Environmentalists know all about getting dirty
Our Geologists Make The Bed Rock
Our Electrical Engineers Do It with More Frequency and Less Resistance
Our Astronomers Do It Under the Stars, All Night Long
Our Spectroscopists Do It Until It Hertz

yeah, last 5 are kinda bad jokes. who the hell cares?
hope that makes up for the inconvenience

Irritatedly yours
[J0HnA55]

Bands, Vids, and other random stuff

2010-01-08T15:03:00.005+08:00

Looks like the extended holidays with everyone at school is good..
for the blog at least.
I'm posting way more now. I suppose that's a good thing? Maybe not.
oh well. Stfu and read XD

Vids before the bands. Vids are just epic.
This guy is just hilarious. Comedian, not musical like JonLaJoie.
But he still owns. He's like a combination of Peter Chao and Russell Peters.
You know all those hilarious/stupid Japanese "Pocky" ads?
Those stick-like biscuits with flavour at the tip?
check this parody out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CESMlfJx_p0
then a rant about parents - he always acts as multiple characters.
His voice and accents change so much, reminiscent of Russell Peters.
But he's still got that "gangsta" thing like Peter Chao (also on Youtube)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1OUAPNyx08&feature=channel
go see the sequels to this video too.
to add to it, here are more awesome vids
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHKMMgrCcZo&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRGA-V5GOsQ&feature=channel

AND THIS IS THE BEST OF ALL
He parodies lame kiddy shows by making one of his own - CRACK BABY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzqGu2OLri8&feature=channel
Some people might just find it stupid..it sure is stupid.
But wait for the "Garbage song"
I dunno why but it gave me another 5 minute laughing fit...
just like "cold blooded christmas" =p

moving on...

Band. Yes, the United Stupidity official band.
Well, not really official. Or stupid. Just affiliated.
Name? CRACK BABY XD joking la...Untold Prophecy
Why? Can't think of a name, Fab's old band - disbanded
So we're continuing the trend...sort of.
Anyway, members.
These KEEP CHANGING
Current list - as usual, unconfirmed.
Vocals/Guitarist - Fabian
Vocals/Guitarist - me
Bassist - Reutens
Keyboardist - Ben
Manager/Groupie - Jono (LOL)

notice it's a little screwed up?
Andy has resigned, cuz he says he's really busy this year.
Maybe he just wants to play metal =d LOL
but it's a waste. He's damn talented...
You should see him doing Beast and the Harlot. Sounds perfect.
Dumbortz is trying to get a friend of his to be our drummer.
We also need a proper singer. This could be quite hard.
Reason - If we ever wanna move up from high school band...
We can't just be mediocre. We gotta be AWESOME.
So Fab and I are kinda out for vocals...
unless we go for voice training or something..but hard to plan.
Then, there's the obvious question of instruments.
We can only jam at the studio, even if we found somewhere else.
CUZ FABIAN DOESN'T HAVE AN ELECTRIC GUITAR.
AND REUTENS DOESN'T HAVE A BASS GUITAR.
isn't that just great?
besides, I'm in singapore on weekdays.
The rest are tied up with tuition.
Looks pretty bleak to me...but....

Take a look at our members list. Aulos - /_337 |-|4XX0R
(he is not a H4XX0R, as in, the enemy. He's L33t! Boo, Megadeath)
He's got a band in Indonesia (well we're international remember?)
and they look like they're gonna make it. seriously.
they've gone ahead and contacted someone from Warner Music.
That's already damn good. One step further from being amateur.
go check it out. language shouldn't be a problem...
I mean, indon is similar to malay. given our education system..
So most of you should get the gist of it XD
it's partly in English too, don't worry
http://majorsband.wordpress.com/
there's a facebook group too. join for the heck of it, y'all.

So they're sort of successful. Right?
Hard to measure at that point.
All bands go through the initial struggle.
Think that where they are is difficult for us to attain?
The answer is quite simple, actually.
Not really.
All we need is to get our act together. (true, that's the hard part)
If all of us in the band put in some effort and dedication...
We'll get there soon enough. At least I hope so..
After all, most of us turn 17 this year.
Many bands hit off well at 18. So, a year of preparation?
See if we can get there faster.
Of course, we need to practice - Issue number one.
Sadly, weekdays are out. So weekends.
But everyone has their own stuff to attend too.
Tuition, church, CCA, the works.
I was thinking of 6pm, sunday, at Hop Music studio.
Either that or around the same time on Saturday.
If we practice on our own, once a week during school should be ok.
For starters, that is. Bands often meet every day.
That's impossible in our situation. So wait for the hols.
Also, we'll probably do covers of songs and such.
Maybe post 'em here. More like Facebook, actually.
I'll make a page or a group when we're ready.
Suppose it'll give us some sense of achievement or sumthin.
As for writing our own songs...that's a tough one.
Take Linkin Park. Good enough band, I think =D (official too)
Minutes To Midnight was a long time in the making.
They produced thirteen great songs. (I kinda like all of em =D)
So long to produce thirteen songs? I mean, years!
But for each success, there were dozens of failures.
The point? Don't worry. The greatest produce loads of crap.
However, each load contains a diamond or two. So - persevere XD
Just try and record or write down lyrics, riffs, beats, whatever.
Who knows? They could be useful someday.

Issue number two - The Instruments AKA Cash, Cash, Cash.
As a side note, Hop Music costs RM20 an hour (for students)
Even the discounted price is taxing. We need somewhere to jam.
Preferably at the drummer's house? No need to move stuff so much.
But it all depends, you see.
So I think Reutz can get a bass quite easily.
Bugs is another problem though.
Ideas, anyone? I'm running short.

Issue three - Wait, we don't need an issue three.
Those two are killing us already.

And what do we aim for?
I'll try and be realistic here.
5 - 10 covers by June. Recorded at least..who knows.
Why June? THE FESTIVAL OF ARTS aka FOA.
FOA. Kicked our asses last year cuz 4 OF US COULDN'T MAKE IT.
That was just epic fail. This year, we're gonna be prepared.
Think of it as a starting stage for us.
Win or no win, it's experience. Valuable enough.
Any other events before that would be useful....
But we need the basic experience. Jam together.
All of us have some measure of experience and "talent".
But nearly none as a band, a full, functional band.
The only time I got near that was practice for a school concert.
It was to be for our Sec4 graduation night.
Full band, with Synyster/Ichabot at bass and me for a guitar.
We did 21 guns and New Divide at the studio.
It was epic. The feeling, at least.
Of course, events went awry, I didn't end up playing. Long story.
The songs were scrapped. Wasted weeks of practice.
they played something "simpler", kinda screwed up
Maybe it was technical failures too. But the potential - was there.
So, we're aiming for that potential.
Who knows, maybe we'll be touring the States in ten years?
It's extremely difficult to make it as a local band. Nearly none have.
The road is a long and winding one.
But are we gonna quit? I think not.
So good luck, guys. We're gonna need it. And to Major[5] too.
You'll need it more than us (for now at least) =D

and to all the people out there waiting...
I'm finally working on the final version of the finale =D

Untold Prophecy FTW
[J0HnA55]

School's In...oh wait

2010-01-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

school started already eh...
not for me XD waiting for O lvl results...
actually, that's worse. shit.
so right now, the only free people are me, Jono, and Ben (the pansy)
we're all stuck in JB with nothing to do.
so we went to singapore to watch a football match: singapore vs iran
quarter finals for the asean cup if I'm not mistaken...
before that, we went to play pool (not water-based, dumbass)
then we were at Timezone...guitar hero arcade FTW =D
the match itself was pretty meh. singapore lost 3-1.
the real action was going on in the audience =d
there were a bunch of malay dudes...making fun of iranian cheers
I have no idea what language the iranians were speaking...
but the translations sounded remarkably funny -

"Lim Bo Seng! Lim Bo Seng!"
malay guy - no, not that, it's
"Mee Goreng! Mee Goreng"
and now it's
"Thoseh! Thoseh!" (indian food)
malay guy - those guys must be hungry

see what I mean?
but the hilarious thing was that the Iranians (the ones at the side)
were TOTALLY CLUELESS. They thought the guys were SUPPORTING them.
they kept smiling at them. one even gave a FLAG to them. Hysterics ensued.
And by that, I mean laughter. Some Iranian cameraman even filmed them.

and then, the hammer fell.
one of the dudes pulled out a lighter.
I was like, OH SHIT. THIS LOOKS VERY BAD.
and he just slipped it back in his pocket. phew.
looks like I had the wrong impression. lucky for everyone.
If he did what I thought he was going to do...damn.
maybe he was just gonna light a cigarette or sumthin.

so after the match, we wandered around, singing "I gotta feeling" again
specifically, jon. he always sings that when he's high and shit.

SPEAKING OF JON,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU OLD FAG (he's 17 already)
Always remember his...damn early in the year.
so it's kinda like a post-new year celebration.
those parties at Sri Mulia condo used to be the bomb..
loads of random stuff I remember.
like Tamiya cars, dragonball Z fighting games, digimon shaker pets..
pokemon toys and cards...oh yeah and Andy puked in the pool XD
those were the freakin days huh? wait, these ARE the freakin days.
so give it up once again for the guy who can't plan for nuts!!!!
I just had to say that =p

besides, ben got a stomachache (they seem to occur often -read previous post)
so we waited around and acted like idiots..as usual.
then we had to find our way back to the MRT after Ben went home
Jon was staying at a friend's house...I was staying with Martin
so we headed to the nearest bus stop...about 11am
and these Iranian guys (middle age i think)were stranded
they needed a taxi to take them to some hotel
so we tried to help em. I called a taxi for them just as we boarded the bus.
then I looked out the window. They DISAPPEARED.
You know what? I was just a little pissed.
So I had to frantically cancel the damn booking...

Green Day concert on the 14th in singapore btw.
Not that I think I can go - tickets are fucking expensive
so ben is going alone for now. lucky fag

Disappointedly yours,
[J0HnA55]

Shaddup and read

2010-01-03T17:21:00.004+08:00

so the Jan 2 reunion was a freakin failure as a reunion...
only six people out of like thirty turned up.
but the day was actually pretty fun..
even though we were just wandering around a lot besides the movie and bowling
Movie? We watched Old Dogs. It's a great comedy.
And btw, if you haven't watched Avatar yet....
Get your ass to the cinema, now! Before they stop showing.
It's just epic. See for yourself.
so then me and Bugs were stranded at KS a long time because ppl were late.
Stranded at KS is actually pretty nice XD
still, it's the stupidity that makes great memories.
and I got a lot of retards around for that. Why?
Best friends won't let you do stupid things... alone.

And on that topic -

"We are friends.
You smile, I smile.
You cry, I cry.
You jump off a bridge...
I'm gonna miss ur sorry ass."

it fits
[J0HnA55]

And so it ends...or does it?

2009-12-31T16:08:00.004+08:00

It went better than expected.
This JP, I didn't really play much 360. But who gives a shit?
There was plenty of other stuff to do.
We did a few retarded covers, 21 Guns, Love Drunk and so on.
Then we went cycling around the neighbourhood (jackie has 6 bicycles)
And a little something extra. Dumbortz led the way of course...
You probably remember what he did with the car.
So Robin (J's bro) has a bike. No, not the manually powered kind.
Soap was just nuts. But he's a freakin natural.
I found a discarded white pipe (wire casing?). Made a good lance.
Of course, I was on a bicycle jousting a freakin BIKE. =p
Then we finally got the 8 player LAN for the 360s. 7 actually. Who cares?
Halodude certainly lived up to his name....
His individual score in one match was higher than the enemy team score.
But I'm glad to say that me and Megadeath are about tied for second XD
Other games too..Modern Warfare 2, L4D 2, Brutal Legend..
As usual, Bugs was stuck to the com playing DotA.
I like DotA. But during JP? Man, we got better shit to do.
And then we screwed around the golf course (Soap ran around with the flag)
Took a shitload of videos and photos. I'll post 'em if I can.
Dinner was great. Sort of nasi lemak buffet.
Then Halo until about midnight...then...
Water battle was subdued at first, cuz there were so many lazy fags..
But most joined in. New party event - Hide And Seek!! Lame? I think not.
Put it this way. At night, Jackie's garden is a veritable jungle.
Instead of fighting us head on, the 'tards on the other team hid. Well.
Me, MegaDeath, Street2fifa and Soap roamed the area searching.
J was found the most often. But he sure can remain still.
The idiot crouched in a corner near the table, smiling, for like 5 minutes.
We saw him. He just crouched there and smiled. You know what happens next.
But he had this fiendish place (in between the hut and the pond)
Almost impossible to see.
Bugs and Jon were great. They hid behind the bushes at the wall.
We thought they went in and didn't realize it for like twenty minutes.
Jon is definitely the greatest. He fucking hid under the car.
And since it's got a low undercarriage...
This time, we actually slept late - most of us, anyway.
Late? 6 am. However, three fags slept early.
Therefore, Halodude, Street2fifa and Soap LOrd are exiled for a week =D
Next day, pretty much the same stuff. But still awesome.

I've decided to add a new segment - RETARD AWARDS!
These are special medals for random stuff. 3 tiers - gold, silver, bronze.

The "Munchykin" award.
Goes to retards who contribute greatly to our munchies =D
Gold - Dumbortz. He made a masterpiece out of Maggi Mee and eggs.
Silver - J0HnA55. I invented Retard Juice, remember the cinnamon? =p
Bronze - Bugs. For eating half my lunch once. After he ate his.

The "Gametard" award.
For those who just kick ass at games.
Gold - Halodude. In the words of Jon - Fuck off man! Give us a chance!
Silver - J0Hna55. Nope, I haven't rigged this. I haven't played for ages.
Bronze - Street2Fifa. He made a damn big improvement. Miss old times XD

The "Jackassery" award.
The title says it all.
Gold - Soap Lord. We try to be retarded. He doesn't need to try.
Silver - Jon. Maybe the fact he was drunk helps here, Mr Flasher.
Bronze - Jackie. Plus all that gay shit, you got a winner.

I can't think of any more awards at the moment.
Please leave suggestions in the chatbox.
And check out "Cold Blooded Christmas" on Youtube by Jon LaJoie.
Me and MegaDeath were having a laughing fit not even halfway.

A few promotions.
Martin's up to Platinum for sticking around.
That's an achievement. Seriously.
All those who came to JP09 are now Platinum with Honors/Dishonor
Cuz every single one was freakin retarded XD

JP'09 was a blast.
But the day flashed by and now, we're about to face another year.
Sometimes, I find it a bit of an anticlimax.
Yeah, its awesome. Something to look forward to.
Then it's over. And we wait another 365 (or less) days for the next.
Face another year of shit, exams, the works.
It almost seems too short.
Maybe we've all been looking at this the wrong way.
JP is great. Nice house, food, entertainment, everything.
But the real point, is something much simpler.
It's us.
Before, I've always wondered, how long is this gonna last?
Every year, it gets harder to plan.
People change, move away.
And we're only in secondary school (well, it's not 2010 yet)
But what happens when we go to college? (in a few weeks for me)
And university? People migrate, study overseas, go on holiday...
It's nearly impossible to get everyone down for that one special day.
And then we have to deal with limits, of course.
That's kinda obvious, and we're lucky J's dad is so nice to us.
So struggling through the whole year for one and a half days of fun?
(I'm kinda ignoring the other stuff for purposes of the post XD)
I think we've missed the point all along.
Let's try and find other venues, other pursuits.
There are loads of great stuff to do out there. We haven't tried.
JP was never about the games, food, movies, music we all love.
It's about the group of us that have stuck together all this while.
It's not the tenth anniversary of one party.
It's the tenth anniversary of our friendship.
Let's enjoy JP while it lasts.
And find new stuff along the way, events where more people can come.
Cuz you guys are fucking awesome. All of you.
Now gtfo before I change my mind =p

oh and Happy New Year.
Think of the good stuff, not the bad.
Hope [US] lasts forever.

Sincerely (for once, that's a surprise XD)
[J0HnA55]

Merry Christmas Y'all

2009-12-26T16:03:00.003+08:00

yeah. one helluva christmas, eh?

I started the festivities on Christmas Eve, about 2pm.
Ended on Christmas Day at 10pm.
That's 20 hours of non-stop partying. Hell yeah.
It was really mad.
First up, I went to Soap's house with Jon...
It was a really short notice thing. Got the invite a day before.
And there were like 20 or so of his relatives...so space was limited.
But yeah, the people were busy, watching TV, playing mahjong, eating buffet..
There were some church christmas carollers and fireworks...
Holy freakin' shit...the fireworks....
It seemed like half a million ringgit worth of fireworks...
And they did it twice...Spec-fuckin'-tacular!
So all in all, it was a pretty formal family reunion.
But for us...it was WILD.
Well, pretty normal actually. At first.
Three of us, played some L4D2, went on Facebook, listened to music.
Then they brought out the wine. And the beer.
So you can pretty much guess the results.
Around 11pm, Jon was walking around the garden singing loudly.
Then he went to Soap's room and sang even louder.
Shortly after midnight, we went to the park.
Jon and I sat on opposite sides of the see-saw, Ivan in the middle.
We were passing drinks around while tryin not to fall..
At about 2am, we went in to shower and change.
Jon was really drunk. His face was red and all.
He started flashing every now and then while shouting like a 'tard.
Then we started prank calling people for the heck of it.
Finally, we nearly fell asleep playing the Guy Game.
Gotta get that for JP =p

Then it was off to JJ's party.
Mostly SSU people, only Jon, me, and Soap from SSV.
Not that it matters. Great party.
Guitar Hero, basketball, swimming.
They pushed a couple of people into the pool XD
besides, I just realised that there are plenty of potential recruits.
From SSU of course, everyone from SSV is here..
Well, almost everyone.
Anyway, this might solve the lack of female members...
Then maybe y'all can stop complaining about it to me. Go forth and invite.

oh, and some great videos.
This guy, Jon LaJoie, his songs are really cool. Dumb, but cool.
Just see these two on Youtube
WTF Collective
Guns Don't Kill People

I gotta go.
Planning for JP and the reunion is killin me

[J0HnA55]

100th post!! milestone? not really

2009-12-09T22:30:00.003+08:00

edit - 88th post only. I had a shitload of drafts -_-
oh well its the thought that counts

Let me shake my own hand...or maybe Fab's...
actually, all of yours.
Give all of yourselves a figurative round of applause. and cheering.
Or you can do it if you want...
I'm not responsible for your family's/neighbour's reactions =p
but seriously. I'd have stopped posting long ago if no one reads them.
thanks to your support, [US] has continued to exist.
many of the other blogs under "other links" have shut down..no one goes there
even Brothers Breakers, The Black Rabbits, and many single-person blogs.
So we're one of the "survivors".
I probably forgot to mention it, but the 2nd anniversary was in September.
Not that anything happened, but still, its an achievement.
It's great to be "alive" =D

First up, quite a few of you should know this guy "Kian Heng"
if you're familiar with him and his exploits....
and that is not necessarily a good thing...
you would know that they make him a bit unpopular, to say the least.
Sure, a lot of people (including me sometimes) aren't that nice to him.
some worse than others...but there are reasons, a LOT of them.
and you guys who know him would know that too.
however, he still tries to be nice...so it redeems him somewhat.

In any case, here's a message to Kian Heng from some guy in my class.
I don't really get along with him well, but the message is SPECTACULAR.
It may be EXTREMELY abrasive, insulting, asshole to the core...
But its certainly worthy of recognition. the effort it took to write.
You wanna see the ultimate hate, flame, troll message EVER? (well to me)
Here it is, people.

" @ Kian Heng..

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.... See More

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, Byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good."

generally not good. fucking epic eh?
it must have taken ages to write this. unless it was stolen from somewhere.
but still? it certainly gives me loads of ideas...
makes a change from standard vulgarity XD

for the heck of it, go here http://www.insults.net/html/swear/index.html
I am now proficient in swearing in 8 languages =p
wonder if that's a legitimate achievement...maybe I'll add an award

and I'm bored...
cya around

[J0HnA55]

OMG GODDAMN HILARIOUS

2009-11-25T20:58:00.002+08:00

I'm back.
yeah, I said I'd post every day.
And this is only like half an hour apart.
But this is FREAKIN HILARIOUS

Ben called. You know, the Gas Guy.
He started asking loads of questions as usual
If you haven't noticed, Bugs was around. (that's how he posted)
for more proof, go check out the chatbox.

anyway, Bugs had a brilliant idea, and took the phone from me.
He started pacing around. I was like, dude, what the fuck?
Then he began to speak.

(obviously I could not hear Ben's side, but Bugs remembers a bit. A bit.)

Ben: So you want to come over and play LAN or not??? (cuz there was silence)

Bugs: Hi Ben. I'm someone just like you. (fyi Ben's nickname is cao ah gua)
(maybe that ain't nice. But the evidence is too strong)
Ben: Hello? Hello?

Bugs: Hello? I'm someone just like you. (laughter in the background)

Ben: Hello? Hello, Matthew? (he don't get it, does he?)

Bugs: This is not Matthew...That's Matthew. (spastic laughter in the background)

Ben: Who is this?

Bugs: Someone like you.

Ben: Is this Reutens? (Why? I dunno. Probably random) (Bugs starts to laugh too)

Bugs: No. I'm someone like you.

Ben: ....

Bugs: I heard you're free tomorrow. Why don't you go out on a date with me?
Maybe a movie or something? We could share straws. (JA falls over laughing)

Ben: ...Ok (WTF? Really? I thought this was a prank call, dammit)
(Oh well. It's one way to meet new people.)

Bugs: Yes, I mean it. I really wanna go out with you.

Ben: (mumbles random shit)

Bugs: Wanna feel pleasure from behind? (JA's stomach starts to hurt)

Ben: What the fuck? No..
(from the above info, the validity of this is questionable)

Bugs: I know you want to. I can smell your pheromones through the phone.

(At this point, JA is suffocating from too much laughter)

Ben: .........Huh?

Bugs: I know you're aroused. You know what, I'll call back.

(passes phone to JA)

JA: Hello?

Ben: Who the fuck was that?

JA: umm...my cousin, Edward. He's..50 times removed..from Afghanistan.

Ben: ok...

JA:....yeah. (laughs)

Ben: So you want to come or not??? (damn, he sure is persistent. and unfazed)

not only is Bugs a genius (spastic one), he can act well too. (I hope ><)

Well maybe it isn't so funny on here.
Hell, you should have been there though. It was EPIC.
Kinda reminds me of the failed Retard Radio segment.

*We interrupt this program to bring you a live transmission*
Standing by...
-----
JA: Hmm...what should I post next?

Bugs: Hey wait, hold on, hold on Matt.
I got it!!

JA: what?

Bugs: Flatulence! *farts*

------------

Live connection has been severed due to unknown gas emissions.
Perhaps the similarity between them is deeper than I thought.

[J0Hna55]
Pwning the phone lines since 2007

(if you haven't noticed, I'm gonna end off each post with random shit)

Words of Wisdom

2009-11-25T20:00:00.002+08:00

This post is by our guest speaker, Bugs.
I am in no way responsible for the following crap.
I am absolved from any broken bones, arrests, or stampeding buffaloes...
...that this post causes. (somehow)

Bugs
-----

Pornography is a boon to mankind.. but womankind says otherwise.

Ever wondered why one gender's pubic hair is called a bush?
The other gender has trunks.
Actually, they're called coconut trees. Upside down. Whatever.

My bird of prey preys on birds of prey.

If you're not gonna enjoy your dinner...I'll enjoy it.

Stupidity is the absence of intelligence.
Retardity is the acknowledgement of stupidity.
Therefore, we of United Stupidity are retards.

I don't know what I said.

But I know I just said it.

----------------------------

Ok it's back to J0HnA55.
I think.
That was freakin' genius. He came up with those in one hour.
I think.
Hmm...I know someone with multiple personality disorder.
That isn't me.
I think.

I'm doing a lot of thinking now.
How is that possible?
That's heresy!
I should, uh...exile myself!
Ok. I'm exiled. For 1 minute.

In the meantime, let me attempt some deeper thought.

Retardity is the path.

Can the path be seen?

Seek retardity, and you are far from it.

Without observation, how can one know they are retarded?

Retardity cannot be seen, nor can it be unseen.

Intelligence is delusion; sanity is nonsensical.

Your path is retardity. Name it, and it vanishes.

...wait. That ain't right.
I just named it. But I'm still retarded, ain't I?
and who said Zen Koans were smart.
By the way, if fibre cleans your intestines,
Does moral fibre clean your brain? I guess not.
But the fibre leaves your body through your ass.
So how does moral fibre leave? Through retardity!
I'm smarter than a Zen Koan!
I think.

...and I'm back.
Some things don't change.
I believe we have wasted a couple of minutes of your life.

..some things don't change

[J0HnA55]
Wasting your time since 2007.
All rights reserved.

Guess who's back

2009-11-23T15:19:00.004+08:00

Back again.
Whatever.

Anyway...
Eminem's new album is just a tiny bit of the tons of great new music.
My memory hasn't improved (thankfully not deproved either)
So I can't really remember what I've already posted here.
But for the heck of it, I'll repeat XD

Dead By Sunrise is a side project by Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park.
Us Originals have been listening to LP since like P1... so this should be good news.
Is it?
They released their first album, Out of Ashes, quite recently.
For those of you who enjoyed Minutes To Midnight, this album is somewhat similar. There is quite a large volume of softer songs, with hardly any screaming. This does not seem normal, but remember, this is a separate band. Mike Shinoda's rap/vocals and Joe Hahn's turntables are noticably absent. However, the overall sound is still good, with the guitarists playing a few solos. Chester does damn well with the softer vocals. His voice is reminiscent of "My December" and "The Little Things Give You Away". Songs include "Give Me Your Name", "Walking In Circles" and "Let Down".
And don't worry. There still is some rock. "Crawl Back In" is just awesome. "The Morning After" is not bad either. Besides the solos, effects are also widely used in many of the songs. Overall , the album is ok. Some good, some average. Not many that I dislike. And it's definitely a change from nu metal/rapcore.

I think I've mentioned Rise Against and their album Appeal To Reason.
"Re-education Through Labor", "Collapse(Post-Amerika)" and "Hero Of War"
Their older stuff is ok too. "Prayer of the Refugee"

Movie soundtracks (not the score) suck quite often. But two of 'em stand out. Transformers 2 has one of the best collections of songs I've ever heard. Then again, the bands that feature are well known. I've heard of nearly all. That's a first. Most have unknown indie bands and other underground stuff. Even the bands I don't know have great songs too. Just look at the tracklist.

New Divide - Linkin Park
21 Guns - Green Day
I Don't Think I Love You - Hoobastank
Real World - The All-American Rejects
Almost Easy - Avenged Sevenfold
This Is It - Staind
Not Meant To Be - Theory Of A Deadman
Burn It To The Ground - Nickelback.
Capital M-E - Taking Back Sunday

I don't know about you, but I'm a fan of all the above bands.
And they all appeared in the soundtrack.

I have never heard of Cavo, but their song "Let It Go" is great as well.
So this soundtrack is freakin ownage.

The other one is the soundtrack of Jennifer's Body.
The show was quite good, a retarded mix of horror and comedy.
Wasn't really scary at all except for a couple of scenes.
Coming from me, someone who doesn't really watch horror... That says a lot. But I digress. The soundtrack is ok, but a few songs are worth listening to. "Through The Trees" by Low Shoulder. Low Shoulder is a fictional band. That being said, the song, which appears in the movie quite often, is great. Others include "Toxic Valentine", "New Perspective" and "Chew Me Up and Spit Me Out".

Oh, and Breaking Benjamin released a new album too, Dear Agony.
It's great. All the songs are average and above. The sound differs a bit from the previous albums. Vocals are softer but more versatile. You'll have to listen to understand. Background orchestra in some songs - a nice touch with the guitars.
The lyrics are pretty similar though. Most of the songs sound similar too. But they're good enough to ignore that. No recommendations, just go listen to everything and decide.

And now for misc songs.

Chillin' - Wale Ft. Lady Gaga
Contagious - Trapt
Whem You Were Young - The Killers
Another Heart Calls - The All-American Rejects
Lifeline - Papa Roach
Brain Stew - Green Day
Land Of Confusion - Disturbed
Six Feet From The Edge - Creed
Cemeteries Of London - Coldplay
Run It - Chris Brown
Warriors Of Time - Black Tide
Going Through Changes - Army Of Me

I'm not including hit singles or radio tracks, this list could go on forever.
Just that these aren't really well known but they are worth listening to.

I'm done with music, let's move on to....games.
This is probably one of the best years for games.
Good games are raining from the sky.
Halo 3 ODST is a must. It's definitely worth the buy. First up, the campaign is great, easy at first but a nightmare on Legendary. Don't forget, you're just a Helljumper now. Not the Master Chief. Firefight is also very challenging, its just like the Horde on Gears of War 2. And finally, the second CD comes with ALL the Halo 3 Maps. Heroic, Legendary, Mythic. Everything.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Epic.
The campaign is short. But it's...epic.
If you recall the ending to Modern Warfare 1, the ending is spectacular.
It's good enough to make into a movie XD
More diverse locations, tons of new weapons, better AI (lol)
And multiplayer? It's Modern Warfare 1 on steroids.

Brutal Legend. I don't know much about it. It's a bit like an RPG.
But the main character is voiced by(and resembles)...Jack Black.
And he carries an axe in one hand and an electric guitar in the other.
Sounds like Tenacious D eh?
I'm sure there are plenty of Beezelbosses running around.

Also, Assassin's Creed 2, Left 4 Dead 2, and Batman: Arkham Asylum.
Yeah, the last one sounds cheesy but sources tell me its great.

Finally.
There has been talk of a massive reunion, for the SSV/SSTDI and SSU classes.
It's supposed to be held between December and Chinese New Year (wtf)
Apart from that, I know...Nothing =D
but think of the possibilities.
yeah, we get to see each other again.
some people will be meeting up for the first time in years.
(PS: This will be the first time Cindy, JJ and Fabian meet up since P2.
All Originals should be able to remember the events of that yeat.
This should be interesting, to say the least ;p)

[J0HnA55]

AND THE FUCKIN EXAMS ARE OVER

2009-11-22T21:44:00.003+08:00

YEAH, YOU HEARD ME BIATCH.
THE FUCKIN EXAMS ARE OVER.
SO STFU AND READ THIS POST.

what's with the swearing, man?
I just had to. It's a great way to release stress.
And...I just discovered....

THE LONELY ISLAND

it's really awesome. you guys gotta check it out.
They're a "comedy rap/rock" group that released a whole album, "INCREDIBAD".
They've got quite a few funny videos on YouTube with LOADS of views.
They swear a lot, kinda like Tenacious D.
That's good enough for me XD probably for you all too. Since we're all here...
I roflmao'ed for ages when I saw a few of them
With titles like:

I'm On A Boat
Like A Boss
Jizz In My Pants

you get the idea.
i'm on a boat is about...them on a boat. seriously. but it's stupidly funny.
jizz in my pants was hilarious. and the singing at the end is not bad.
and like a boss? go find out yourself XD
plus, they have some pretty famous people collaborating on the album...
Justin Timberlake, T-Pain, Jack Black, Natalie Portman, Nora Jones (WTF, I know)
Natalie Portman featured in a song about herself, Natalie's Rap.
She acted in films like Star Wars, V For Vendetta and Mr Magorium's (WTF too)
She is also a Harvard graduate in psychology.
You should listen to the song. It's...well, I don't know what to say.
Let me put it this way - I'd give her a Platinum with Honors membership here.
Jack Black's "Sax Man" is pretty damn funny too. in a sarcastic way.
you gotta listen carefully to get it though. I didn't at first.
So go and search for it. It owns.

wait...since there are so many lazy asses around here...
here are the video links =D

I'm On A Boat - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QwM4vXex7c&feature=related
Like A Boss - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NisCkxU544c&feature=related
Jizz In My Pants - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=fvw
Natalie's Rap - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpMPFGBtE7Q

ah...it's great to be back.
Exams were a drag...the "O" Levels really killed me.
It took like a couple of days for me to get back into retard mode.
All I can do is wait for the results...
Good luck (not that you need it anymore) to all of you waiting for PMR/SPM results
and me too XD just had to say it.

oh, before I forget, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOAP LORD!!!
That's right, I'ma bit late but it was on the 21st of November (i think ><)
Hope the lather doesn't clog up the sewers at Mount Austin =p
I think the jackass changed his handphone number...
Can't seem to get him at all. Anyone know? Spam the chatbox (not too much)

How about some music?
Tons of great songs, but for all those rap fans, Eminem's new album is a blast.
Seriously. Although the lyrics are kinda fucked up, he gets better and better.
Although he kinda acts the mad Slim Shady serial killer most of the time, there are still some songs like "Beautiful" which are pretty good.

I'm kinda busy -_-''
New post coming tomorrow I think.
Heck, every day.
Holidays rock.

[J0HnA55]

Woots

2009-10-31T01:32:00.002+08:00

its the middle of the "O" Levels right now...
up to my head in stress ><
but I happened to remember the blog and noticed it was rotting away
so I came back for a quick post XD

after the exams is gonna be a blast
for one, the band is gonna go full speed now... prepare for FOA next year =D
and have loads of fun too on the way, I wanna do 2 cover albums
One for acoustic songs, the other for the rest...
I was supposed to participate in my school senior's night, a graduation kinda thing
it's a long story, but the whole plan got fucked up bad in the end
they changed the damn song twice..
then changed it again a few hours before the performance.
in the end I wasn't able to play (3 guitarists for No Boundaries? wtf)
Martin (the solo "guest") was forced to play as well
y'all know how he hates mainstream music... sigh
and the sound was so screwed no one could hear his guitar, or the bass...
even the drums were faint. THE DRUMS!! HOW CAN DRUMS BE FAINT?!!? Well, they were.
the good thing, I got to experience a full band rehearsal for the first time...
Yes, FULL BAND. When we jackasses do it, someone doesn't show up....
Or we waste the time doing random shit (which is fun anyway but what the heck)
so this time we actually played two songs, 21 Guns (Green Day) and New Divide (LP)
It was awesome. We pulled it off nearly flawlessly.
I tried to get the vid from the vocalist... 104 MB on phone cam... WTF?
so getting it is near impossible with bluetooth.. posting it here is ridiculous
but who gives a shit. lost a recording? make a new one! (not all the time though)

oh btw I got Far Cry 2 for 360, it's loads of fun.
After exams is perfect for entertainment....
Look at the movies - 2012, Jennifer's Body, Cloudy with a chance of meatballs
(yeah i know, the last one is just retarded. but so are you, I assume. So am I =D)
and the games - Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, Halo ODST... those two are good enough
with Bioshock 2, Left For Dead 2 on the horizon... wow.

finally, there's talk of a MASSIVE REUNION.
this applies to all those of you from P1 and P2 of SSV/SSTDI
or P3 and P4 of SSU (the rest of you, skip this shit. it's a class kinda thing)
the two Jon's (JJ and JC) are making plans on Facebook already.
They wanted to have it at JJ's house, but it looks uncertain.
Wait. 40+ screamin ppl? I don't think so. We need your help to think of a venue
If not a house then where?
Some hall? Restaurant? Mall? Park? Cinema? Street? Toilet?
or some mass outing or shit. not like there's many place to go to around here...
maybe Singapore? lol...freakin expensive eh
still, its gonna be loads of fun
lets see if Fab and JJ fight over Cindy again XD XD XD that would be epic

I kinda miss you guys...
sometimes I wonder whether it was worth it going to study in Singapore.
can't wait until the exams are over...

[J0HnA55]

Day Of Infamy...

2009-08-29T23:22:00.003+08:00

...is today.
Really.

28th of August 2009.

It will be remembered for all time.
Why?

New member. Ben - Cao Ah Gua (silver)
he's worse than Bugs AND J added together x5...
and that's a lot. trust me.

but before that...

Promotions!! (about time)

I have made a new rank for myself (I Own This Shit)
Sorry. Just had to do it. XD
And we have a new Platinum with Dishonor....

DUMBORTZ!!!!

cheer the jackass. now.
He drove his dad's car out at midnight.
To....Rob a bank? Smuggle guns? Kidnap Bugs for spamming?

...

Nah. To send his friend home.
But...WHO GIVES A SHIT
HE DROVE HIS DAD'S CAR OUT AT MIDNIGHT
HE DESERVES A FUCKIN' MEDAL FOR STUPIDITY XD
and he got caught. that's also why he deserves the promotion.

So reutz...
Why dishonor?
You drove your friend home...
Illegally...Without permission...At night.
AND YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME A RIDE!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAH

joking.
but a video of that would be cool.
so what's next?
Reutz, why don't you drive us all to JP this year =D
that would be ownage. And we can blast music freakin loud. He won't mind =p

Ichabot also drives the car. A lot.
But he's allowed to.
Big difference, huh?
And he's already Dishonor. oh well...

ok. back to the story.
This is a minute by minute account of the incident.

-----------------------------------------------------

//Location//
Mrs Tey's House, Jalan Kuning Muda 5, Taman Pelangi. (and 5 mins from fab's house)
//Occasion//
Tuition. Every Saturday.

Zero Hour
00:00
Ben goes to toilet. Nothing seems amiss.
00:02
Weird smell detected by JA. No other signs yet.
00:03
People near the toilet door start holding their noses.
00:04
Whole class is holding their noses. Confusion reigns as they search for the source.
00:05
Source of smell identified. Shouting match ensues between JA and Ben (muffled)
Laughter. Loud laughter.
00:06
MoneySeeker takes air freshener and sprays around the class. Temporary relief.
Laughter gets worse. (Laughing gas?)
00:07
Perfume dissipates. Stench gets worse. Moneyseeker sprays again.
Laughter quietens down (It's not funny anymore, seriously)
00:08
JA takes the air freshener and sprays it at the door edges. Smell now horrifying.
Even the little kid is pinching his nose.
00:09
MoneySeeker evacuates the room. Work has completely stopped by now.
00:10
JA leaves the room and opens the front door for fresh air. The dog starts to bark.
Normal phenomenon. Animals often display unusual behaviour during natural disasters.
00:11
People in living room can detect traces of the odor. More people leave the room.
This includes the little kid and the teacher.
00:12
The room has been evacuated. Students sitting around living room like refugees.
Ben is still talking loudly, unaware that everyone has left. Dog barking now frantic.
00:13
JA opens the kitchen door(connected to toilet)...
And slams it shut. The smell has now reached the solid, tangible stage.
(it has the force to push people back)
00:14
MoneySeeker sprays the room doors with perfume. Actually kinda stupid.
The chemical smell starts to make people cough (but at least it masks the odor)
00:15
Smell finally diffuses to the point of insignificance.
Emergency is declared over. People can now return to their daily lives.

The bottom line?
Do not go near the toilet when Ben has a bad stomachache. For your own good.
Ben gets to Silver as a start, for this gas attack that beats Halodude or Soap FLAT.
Plus he has shown some signs of telepathy too.

But he has a great rivalry with MoneySeeker. Can't blame him.
However, I am Supreme Leader, am I not? I cannot take sides amongst my subjects.
Oh well. Shit happens.

[J0HnA55]

Ode To A Toilet?

2009-08-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

well...sounds interesting enough huh?

...hey. I was bored.

so anyway.
You know when you're on MSN, Facebook or maybe even on the phone.
And the other guy has to go do something else.
Quite often, its the toilet.

Toilet.

Had a lot of experience with that, especially our venerable ex-leader Halodude.
So I made this on the spur of the moment.
(As with most of the other shit I come up with, duh)

This be dedicated to J0N0. He was in the toilet.
I waited.
I was inspired.

(to be sung to Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day)

Nine o' clock has come and passed
My laptop batt will never last
Wake me up when toilet break ends
Like your motion come to pass
Half an hour ain't that fast
Wake me up when toilet break ends
Here comes the shit again
Falling from your arse
My brain starts to melt again
As future becomes past
As my fingers rest
Cuz I was spamming all my best
Wake me up when toilet break ends

(to be continued)

and J0N0 has some shit to share with us

J0N: how is [US] going?

ME: Is the sky blue?

J0N:

I don't know, you tell me.
It may be blue one day,
Or turquoise another.
So it actually depends on where you come from.
If you're from Africa
It's obviously gonna be darker
But if you're Asian
More specifically Chinese or Korean or something like that
Then it's all going to be bluish blurry
Cuz their eyes can't open big enough
To see the true beauty of the sky

Wow.
Bluish blurry.
What the hell is that?
We got a Shakespeare.
Invents his own words.

[JA]

28 Days Later

2009-08-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

Yeah, you know the movie.
But I'm talking about a real life event...that's so retarded we could make a movie on it too.
Or a novel for that matter.

28 Days Later
-------------
Starring: J0HnA55 (me XD)
Featuring: MoneySeeker
Bugs
Ben (cao ah gua)
extra people

Synopsis
--------
MS has been boasting so much that people say he has no ass, the shit comes out of his mouth.
J0HnA55 attempts to restore his reputation by challenging him to tell the truth and prove it.
MS then bets JA that his phone will be credited RM100 as he has a rich friend who can do shit for free.
JA accepts and says that if he fails, he will owe him the money.
MS accepts the bet! o_O even I wasn't expecting that.

Eventually, JA receives RM 20. I wasn't expecting that either.
Ben complains but JA says what the heck, RM20 is good enough. No need to be such a dick la...
MoneySeeker is on a roll.
He promises JA an iPod. A. Free. iPod.

And thus the saga begins....

Day 1 (Sat): MS calls and says that his richass friend has sent the iPod down from KL.
He meets JA at tuition but says he didn't bring it.
Day 2: JA calls and asks if he can pick it up from MS's house.
He says, "No, I'm busy. Some other time". JA wonders but says ok, next week.

Note: JA stays in Singapore on weekdays for school.

Day 8: JA has flu. Possible H1N1. Doesn't go to tuition.
According to statistics, (of which the reliability I'm not sure)
50% of flu cases in Singapore at a certain time were H1N1.
And my class had 26 cases of flu in 1 week. Let's not talk about the rest of the school.
By the way, at least two people were tested positive though.

Day 9: Tuition is cancelled. JA mutters.
MS declares he likes the iPod and will keep it. A new iPod touch will arrive next week.
That makes two iPods in 2 weeks. Wow. What a richass friend. I'm speechless...err...not.

Day 15: MS doesn't bring it again. JA asks why.
Explanation is very long and detailed, but here's the gist of it.
- MS's parents are unaware of the iPod
- JA cannot collect it as MS's father will be pissed that he goes just to collect a gift (kinda understandable)
- MS cannot bring it just in case his parents see it in his bag (lol?)
He says he has a friend he passed them to, who will drive to the tuition venue and hand them over.
A friend that can drive? How old, I asked? 19, MS says.
For a 19 year old, he sure has a lot of free time..

Not. He doesn't turn up. If he did, JA would have eaten an eraser out of astonishment. (I really thought of it)
MS then declares that he doesn't want the iPod and will give both to JA. He swears JA will get them by the next day.
JA decides to give one to Bugs. (He don't have no iPod either)

Day 16: MS says he will meet JA at Hop Music Studio. He doesn't show up.
MS says he will give it to his "girl" in Woodlands.
He claims he has 21 girlfriends. JA says, bullshit.
So he says he will tell them to sms him that night.
JA's phone remains silent.

BTW. I made a song outta this. (Sung to 21 Guns - Green Day)

One, Twenty One LAN
Ka na sai
Go and die
One, Twenty One LAN
Chao Chee Bye
Girl, my EYE
Don't lie

Poetic, ain't it?
At this point, Ben and the extra people have given up.
I say, give him 28 days. You know I like fancy shit =p
It certainly helps with the posts.

And he says that his friend sent me an acoustic guitar from KL.
Will wonders ever cease?
Next he'll be sending me a car, from the looks of it.

Day 17: After school, JA calls MS.
He says that his girlfriend cannot meet JA that day.
JA is just curious how the meeting will take place.

1)MS gave her my handphone number. He won't give me her number. Why?
"No hanky panky"
You know a spastic dude called Kian Heng? Sound familiar to some of you?
Exact same words. Co-incidence?

Side note, I suan him like siao.

JA:Why don't you give me her number?
MS: No! Later you got hanky panky with her sia...
JA: No way la...she is your girlfriend. She so little taste, why I want?
MS: YOUR ASS LA. SHE IS DAMN CHIO. HER BOOBS 32D LEH!!!!
JA: Wahlao, so small sia. Aiyoyo...
MS: FUCK LA!!! I tell you, you see already, you sure want. She only 14 leh
JA: OMG!!! PEDO!!! PEDO!!!! AAAAAAH
MS: *rage*

2) He gave her my photo. HOW THE-
MS: I took from your facebook.

Ah, that explains matters. I think.
(Hardly. go see my facebook pics for yourself, they won't help much)

3) I asked him, is she really so free?
He says that she was expelled from Fuchun Sec for a ton of offences.

4)Is she really willing to be a...courier?
He says, ya, she will do anything for me.
Wow. I am so "touched"

Day 18: After school, JA goes home. At 4pm, he gets an sms.
MS: Bro urgent call me asap
So he calls MS.

MS: EH, WHERE ARE YOU SIA?
JA: err...home.
MS: MY GIRL WAIT FOR YOU 3 HOURS ALREADY LEH
JA: WHAT THE FUCK?

-silence-

JA:...wait. why the hell didn't you tell me?
MS: my phone no money. I just top up

(woah. so convenient. I bet he waited for the occasion)

JA: Then why didn't she call me?
MS: er.. I told her not to.
JA: why???
MS: I afraid that later you angry
JA:.....
MS: and then you also maybe hanky panky.

-silence-

Day 19: She wasn't free again. Then again, are imaginary people free? I guess not.

Day 20: MS tells me that she will come to Clementi and pass it to me.
At 4pm, I ask, "Where is she?"
He says, oh, she just left Vivo City.
Hmm... If I recall, that will take an hour at the most.

At 6pm, he says, oh, she has reached Clementi. I get ready to go down to meet her.
At 6.10, I have second thoughts and get un-ready. You know what I mean.

At 8pm, I call him.

JA: Hey dude, is your girlfriend injured?
MS: No
JA: Disabled?
MS: No
JA: Stupid?
MS:...No
JA: Then she must be lost. She's taking two hours for a five minute walk.

He declares that she has just gone home.
He says that she had no credit for her phone.
He never thought of calling her until I called him.

Persevere, dear readers. Put up with the utter stupidity until the end of the post.

Day 21: Eh dude, meet my girl at Woodlands ok? 4.30pm.
Not much of a problem, as I leave for JB around that time.
He calls at 4.35 and says that she has just left Vivo City.
I sigh and get on the bus.
He keeps cursing, saying that his girlfriend is useless.

If she is indeed real, then he is a real dick.
She's doing him a freakin' favor.. she has no obligation to run around for him.
But I suppose imaginary people don't really mind.

Day 22(The Final Showdown)
It's Saturday again.
Apparently, she's coming to JB.
During tuition, he announces that she is at KingSurf. (A LAN centre for those of you who don't know)
We can't leave until 5.30. Then it turns out my parents are picking me up.
And then they announce that we are having dinner at Rawa (some place)
It is a two minute walk from KingSurf.

So I call and tell him to get her to go downstairs.
He says that his phone has no money.
I tell him to give me her number.
He says....
"No. Later You Hanky Panky with Her."

At that point, I decided on a course of action.
MS will feel the wrath of A55 if he doesn't get the iPods by the deadline.
Alternatively, MS can admit that he is lying and the bet will be called off and forgotten. Permanently.

"It's real, I swear! You don't believe me?"

However, I continue on happily, as this adventure will provide entertainment for generations to come...

Day 23: I tell MS to send it to Ben's house cuz I was there.
You get the idea.

Day 28: Wow, it's Friday. But the post is 28 days LATER. So see tomorrow.

Day 29 (D-Day): It's here.
And he doesn't bring it.
For the same reasons as before.
I have no need to elaborate further.
He claims to have hidden it under the mat in his car.
Why? I dunno.
But I got picked up before him.
I gave him two more days - a month, for kicks.

Day 30: He doesn't send it to Ben's house again.

Day 31: Not much hope, is there?

Day 32: Today. The day I am writing this. Tuesday. 18/8/09.
Well?
MoneySeeker has refused to back down. He claims the iPods are still real.
As of now, he is exiled until:

1) He produces the iPods, or a warranty card showing that he got a Nokia phone for free from the rich guy

2) He admits he is lying. Simple as that.

To Be Continued...

Some of you studying in Singapore may be taking Literature.
This shit certainly is an example.
Weird topic though.
The song is nice. There was a cool music video on YouTube using the movie Braveheart.
But they removed it. Stupid copyright issues.
They spoil the point of YouTube.

The song “Strength of the World” by Avenged Sevenfold explores the concepts of cause and effect; this single song also possesses a double consequence. The protagonist loses everything that is close to his heart; with the strength of the world behind him, he stands to God and says, “I stand before you, I’ll sin when I have to”. He challenges those who have “taken [his] whole life” but in the end finds himself still alone and now a sinner, a “killer falling from the light”. In his moments of strength, he comes to make himself suffer the greatest punishment.
The song has a long and gentle acoustic introduction; I see this as the cool calm before the storm, a routine life with nothing special to worry about. A minute into the song, the acoustic guitar is accompanied by an electric guitar; we have rising action, drums join in and those drums slowly scale in strength, with the beat accelerating in the crescendo. We hit the first of a double climax as various instruments begin their parts, “my story starts the day they said ‘she can’t be found’”, the drums are on full roll and the lyrics begin to play out. It is interesting to note how poetic the song is; there is a very strong use of alliteration, which enters clear onomatopoeia in the first stanza. The constant repeated “s” sound brings into play the seething anger; the hissing sound may be a representation of the snake-tongued devil that claimed the lives of this man’s family. This part is all about making these outlaws look bad; the music is a rock/metal version or interpretation of the screeching music before a murder scene in classical movies.
The second part (third stanza) shows his developing insanity. The rhythm seems to break here and sharp sounds of “t” (teeth) and “k” (kill) predominate. When before it would seem he had grounds to his rage, his new temper is hellish and out of bounds (“I want it, I need it, revenge is dripping from my teeth”). He alludes to a dog, craving his meal, craving to tear and devour it; he dehumanizes himself to reveal the insanity. He mixes the senses to make the scene extremely perverse (“taste my breath I’m close behind”), calling for them to taste a smell, the smell of someone else’s breath. In the bloodlust, it is instinctively a putrid smell that comes into mind. I always see bloodthirsty eyes connected to this putrid, metallic, and bloody breath smell.
Although the refrain is repeated in between each “part”, I thought it was most significant in between the second and third parts (the fourth stanza). The refrain seems more relaxed and in this placement it transitions absolute insanity to cool determination. The third part (fifth stanza) depicts the “warrior” praying at the tombs of his dead family, reminding himself of his cause in a scene that parallels epic prose. Here we know that he will succeed in getting the outlaws, but is this the best path? Is the death of the outlaws the final consequence? He talks to God, stands up and says that he will sin if he has to, implying that not even God will stand between him and his revenge. I also noticed that he could not “turn his cheek”, meaning that maybe he doubts his actions and in a way sees that the sin of murder will make him just as bad as the outlaws. This reaction is only momentary and he says, “but now I leave your side, to avenge my family’s pride”. This is him talking to God; we know he will kill the outlaws. The next significant part is in the solo, a flurry of electric guitar moving from slow pacing to accelerating urgency. I saw the battle scene here, him catching up to the murderers. At the end, everything goes still and the music is cold; there is no sentiment of joy or success. He realizes that his family is “so far forever” and that even though he kills the killers, he is still alone. “A greater punishment on me has been imposed”, he is left with nothing. The thirst for blood has left him (ambition, a goal), his family is still dead (safety, love), and he believes he has fallen out of God’s favor as “a killer falling from the light” (afterlife, a belief to cling to). He finishes struck by this double consequence by silently admitting “I miss my family, I’ll never be alright” and the music fades away…

ROFL

[J0HnA55]

Telepathy? Retarlepathy! or maybe Twitpathy XD

2009-06-26T22:34:00.004+08:00

been leaning towards the acoustic side nowadays.

No Boundaries - Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Unforgiven - Metallica
Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Everchanging (Acoustic) - Rise Against
21 Guns - Green Day

there's just something nice about it.

and then again, I'm now starting on a "guitar" music trend.
dudes like...

John Petrucci
Steve Vai
Paul Gilbert (Mr Big)
Yngwe Malmsteen (did I spell that right? lol)

and so on. the whole song is like one long solo. Niiice.

went out to watch Transformers 2 a while ago.
At first, I was like, meh.
Then the motorcycle scene. I gave the film 10/10.
Then..the museum. When the army guy went to change.
The rating dropped straight down to 7/10. Damn, that was horrible.
Heh.

now for the main purpose of this post...

Did you know the memory span of a goldfish is 3 seconds?
I'm proud to say me and Street2fifa broke that record.
By one whole second.

See, we were at the Woodlands library (in singapore)
He leaned over and said, "Eh, you know ah..."

A librarian walked past and said, "Quiet, please". To the whole row of people.

I looked at him. "What?"
He said..."I forget liao"

..ownage. OWNAGE.
I swear, ownage.

and here's some background information.
For a while, I noticed some strange stuff happening between us Platinums.

I would think of calling Bugs, then when I reach for the phone, it rings.
Guess who? Bugs.
Someone asks me and Dumbortz a question.
We both reply at the same time. Word for word.
And it happens with a few of us too. Not just one or two.

I put it down to familiarity.
After all, great minds think alike, do they not? XD

then one day...
this dude called Ben asked me to go to the library to study.
Several days in fact, but I was only free on one.
He came a little late. 10 minutes off, in fact.
His mother dropped us off at the side.
We wondered where to have breakfast. McDonalds? KFC? some kopitiam?
we chose McDs, and even after we finished, we stoned for a while.
Then, we left and walked towards the library.

one day...
Street2fifa went to school for CCA.
The guard told him it was closed for the holidays due to swine flu.
So he was stuck with nothing to do.
So what did he decide to do? Wonder of wonders. Go to the library.
He could walk, or take a bus. Or take a bus from the opposite bus stop.
He took the bus from the opposite stop. (slightly different route, maybe faster)
He got off, walked towards the library.

and BLAM, we saw each other.
Now think about this.
If I had gone on another day, left earlier, eaten somewhere else, hadn't stoned...
If Twit had gone for CCA, gone home or took different transport...
A difference of ten seconds would be enough. We wouldn't have met at all.
There was also the time when I saw him at the dentist.
He had rescheduled his appointment.
I was late. By half an hour.

Something screwy is going on.

There's more.
I met Halodude at Msia immigration once.
I fell asleep at the flat, so I was returning later.
He had some stuff after school, so he was too.
We went to studio last Saturday.
I forgot to tell them that Yan Feng couldn't make it.
And Dumbortz brought a friend along. a DRUMMER.

Coincidence? or conspiracy?
It happens very often.
Coincidences do not normally occur often.
And if it were a conspiracy, that would be pretty stupid.
The only people with a likely reason to conspire for us to meet...
would be us, of course.
So unless all of us have memory lapses, split personalities and dementia..
(hey. don't look at me. I'm innocent)
There has to be an underlying reason for this.

Suddenly, I thought of it.

Telepathy??

Could we have developed some psychic connection between our minds?
That makes us do stuff subconciously? Without us realizing the purpose?
So I got kinda excited for a while.

Then today, I called Bugs.

JA: Hey man.
Bugs: Hey. So, confirmed. Tomorrow afternoon?
JA: Yeah. Holy shit. How did you know what I was going to ask you?
Bugs: I dunno.
JA: See, freakin telepathy. Hehe.
Bugs: Oh, Wen Long is coming. He asked what time to meet.
JA: ...Wen Long? He's coming? For what?
Bugs: Umm he said he wanted to go.
JA: But he doesn't play anything does he? Or does he want to stone at the studio?
Bugs: I'm talking about cinema. Oh wait, I forgot. You already watched Transformers.
JA:.....
Bugs: So much for telepathy.

Get the picture?

But I figured out, this should be totally normal.
If we had some measure of telepathy, it would be affected a bit. Ok, a lot.
Cuz retards + telepathy = some pretty interesting shit, eh?

Hence, I coined the term.
Retarlepathy!!! (or Twitpathy XD)

btw, a twit quote.
Teacher: You see a man at the mall. He has difficulty breathing. What do you do?
Twit: Give him...CPF!!
(central provident fund, not cardio-pulmonary resuscitation)

Like a bit of extra cash is gonna clear his airways.

Oh, and more on bands.
Check out Sevendust.
I wonder why I never heard of it earlier.
It be metal. With a black singer.

'nuff said.

To end this off, here's a quote.
This came from an interview with Marilyn Manson.
He's weird. WEIRD. Emo. Complete nuts.
But...he said,

"Why would you want to censor the word "fuck" out of a song? Really, who doesn't want "fuck"? The more fuck, the better. In life, it's metaphor -- the more fucks, the more fun. Hey, it's only a couple letters off from fun."

kinda reminds me of "History of the F Word"
That dumbass video on FunnyJunk back in primary.
nostalgic feelings. wait, that ain't right.

[J0HnA55]

new signature?

[\7\*]

ahem

2009-06-16T23:30:00.002+08:00

...time suuuuure flies around here.
and elsewhere too.
duh.

I logged on to facebook.
and saw a message.
it said,
"happy birthday you strange creature"

and I was like, what?
whose birthday?
took me a minute to realize it was mine >.<
that proves I have the memory span of a goldfish...

but anyway it doesn't really matter...
this year I ain't having a bigass party as usual.
freakin o's are restoring yet destroying my sanity.
this I swear though,
during the end of year holidays...
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A FUCKIN' BLAST

heh.

besides, the FOA is off this year.
3 reasons.
1)o's are starting to really piss me off.
(parents la..as usual. but this is the only time where I don't feel injustice)
2)yan feng has exams in july. screwed up Omega timetable..
3)Our bassist has no bass of his own. He borrowed one.
heard that reuts is a fast learner but he can't keep the bass and amp forever...
i hope so though XD

so we're going to start a few band related side projects
one would be obviously to cover some songs...the range has increased now.
and we were thinking of making a Tenacious D cover. Music, video and all.
but that will take some time. and a lot of ingenuity.

so I guess patience is in order.
not that I have lots of it anyway.
I miss the good ol' days though.
Think I'm goin off to listen to Shadows and Regrets by Yellowcard.
one of the few songs I find really meaningful.
wish we'll have Left 4 Dead at JP and MP and AP.
wish Jackie will get a double bass pedal for his drum set.

and yes, MegaDeath, I hear you.
so stop spamming my phone and the cbox.

happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to meeee... *cough* *cough*

[J0HnA55]

and it gets closer.

2009-05-15T00:09:00.002+08:00

AND CLOSER
THE FOA IS COMING.
ARE WE GONNA KICK THEIR FREAKIN A55ES?

maaybe.

actually, it's been postponed to July 18th. That adds 1 more month of practice.
But less time...O Levels gonna drive me mad. wait...I think I am already =D
well the band is probably still called Untold Prophecy.
can't think of anything, the name kinda stuck. any suggestions?

here's the official lineup

Bugs - Lead Vocals/Keyboard (if needed)
J0HnA55 - Guitar/Backup Vocals
Joshua - Guitar
Dumbortz - Bass
Yan Feng - Drums

Oh and The Watcher says he fell asleep while shitting once.
Sad there aren't any available promotion levels left.

and I'm STILL waiting

2009-04-18T22:33:00.002+08:00

wait wait wait
it's been weeks since Halo wars was released...
...and I still don't have it.
ARGH
AAAAAAARGH

strange tho. I've read some negative reviews about it.
Gave it 60 something over a hundred.
someone can clarify this?

kinda bored (again), so here's an attempt at subliminal messaging;

Jokes are an extremely good way of entertaining people.
Often we find ourselves closer to those who make us laugh.
In a survey conducted by researchers, almost half of those surveyed agreed.
Not only that, laughter has also been proven to help control pain.

Unless you really are an emo person,you should tell more jokes.
So that you can understand the meaning of this message.

can you see the message in the above passage???

my electric guitar is really screwed up.
for one thing, the tuning is one key up (F,A#,D#,G#,C,F)
it can't seem to return to normal (believe it or not, F seems to be the lowest)
and the string emits a weird buzzing sound when I play it.
It's so loud the amp picks it up. And it sounds like shit.

More song suggestions: (sry for repeats)
The Day That Never Comes - Metallica
Second Hearbeat - Avenged Sevenfold
Free Falling - John Mayer
I Don't Care/Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy
Must Get Out - Maroon 5
Empty Apartment/Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

Still waiting for that reply Dumbortz -_-"

Random Shit

2009-03-25T00:41:00.002+08:00

FOAFOAFOAFOAFOAFOAFOA
WAH HEADACHE

had a "performance" recently
some random shit for school CIP (community involvement program)
play songs at an old folk's home
but...at the last minute they changed the song
so i sat there with my guitar away from the mic
and played RANDOM SONGS!!!!
and no one could hear what i was playing over the speakers. LOL.
seriously, WTH.

i think i'ma get started with the parodies again soon.
someone help meeee.....i'm outta ideas.
my mind's blank(er)...than usual

and now I have 4 hour tuition every saturday...omgwtf
but after that i almost nearly guaranteed can meet up with 'tards or watch movie
or shit like that. worth it? i dunno
and it doesn't apply near exam period...waaah.

and we're running out of retarded material. this is a disaster.

and here's some random emoness

The Beast Within

Sometimes you wish that someone would reach out and hold you. Tell you that everything will be OK, whisper that they love you, and say that it will all work out in the end.

Of course, they don't. They can't see that there is something wrong, or if they do, and ask, you don't know how to tell them that there isn't really anything wrong, there just isn't anything right either. You don't know how to explain that you feel numb. That you hate it. That you hate yourself.

It is hard to admit that you despise yourself, the shell you've become, the void that you are becoming. Harder to admit that the only thing that hasn't broken is your mind, and that the thin thread of sanity is only being held onto out of sheer desperation... a shaky grip at best.

So you have your Desperation, and the fragile hope that someone, somewhere, will break into the monotony of the life you are only half living, and save you from yourself. Unfortunately, You don't know how to let them in, because once they have broken through your walls of defense, they have every weapon they need to destroy you. They KNOW... and it scares you.

And so you continue... holding fast to your hope, and the dreams of a better tomorrow, slashing at your existence with the jagged blades of self-loathing. ALONE. And when the beast within you wins, you realize that deep down you have enjoyed the burning sensation in the pit of your stomach and the complete detatchment with which you view the world.

And every night before you go to bed, the child within the person you used to be battles the Terror that dwells inside the person you have become.

And every morning, you succumb to the beast within.

Lolz
random emoness
but kinda fits for a lot of people i guess
duh

i'm outta here
this place is tapped

[J0HnA55]

Disclaimer

2009-03-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

yeah. before I get to the other stuff, this is a disclaimer.

This organization/blog/whatever, United Stupidity,
In no way are we attempting to make fun of the mentally challenged.
As members of our society, they should be given the extra amount of care needed.
Many of the posts and stuff mention some people as "retards".
Let me clarify this.
Most of us here prefer to see the brighter side of life.
This often displays itself in the stuff that we do.
And a lot of the stuff that we do is aimed at making us, and other people laugh.
"Retards" is mentioned as the stuff posted are often outside normal behaviour.
Or maybe it isn't. Just that nobody mentions it, or people forget.
They lose their memories. Memories can brighten your day when things are dark.
Of course, this is our brand of humour. Not everyone appreciates it.
Some people may think that some of it is "lame", or "weird".
Or otherwise its just plain "retarded".
Whatever it is, it's your opinion. You are entitled to it. We respect that.
But if you come to troll and flame against us, let me get this straight.
We can listen to you. But we do not need to take your shit.
Feel too embarassed to participate in harmless pranks? Wuss.
Or think that you're above it? Better than us in some way?
What if we think that you're an insignificant faggot?
Got a problem if we think that you're like that?
Too bad, loser. Get a life.
If you're fine with that, no problem. Everyone here is friendly. (I think...)
Stick around, socialize, laugh, enjoy life.
Otherwise, do us a favour and get the fuck outta here.
Before I come over and cut you from hole to hole.

Yours truly,
[J0HnA55]

meh. some people are really pissin me off.

as for the rest of the update...

It looks kinda certain that we're going to join the FOA this year.
Too bad Martin can't be our guitarist. Don't think he can come to Malaysia.
But he wouldn't really like the songs we'd perform anyway.
The lineup is still very shaky, but...

Fabian - Vocals
Me - Guitar
Yan Feng - Drums
Reutens - Bass

We need another guitarist. CALLIN ALL GUITARISTS!!!
(I know JB and Singapore are SWARMING with them)

narrowed down a few song choices, but I'd appreciate some suggestions.
Beast and the Harlot - Avenged Sevenfold
Holiday/Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Obviously, we need more feedback.

Halodude lent me his Burnout: Paradise City (hail him! HAIL HIM!)
it's pretty good. Free cruisin' in a GTA sized city.
Bad thing is the crashing. Literally. I'm a lousy driver -__-''
Oh well. Good side, I pwn road rage. haha.

Halo Wars is out. Finally.
But some reviews say it isn't really good.
Anyone can confirm this?

Man, I'm sleepy.
G'nite y'all.

Well, well, well.

2009-02-11T17:18:00.002+08:00

Ahh. Dragged myself out of la la land to update this glorious dominion.
Being supreme dictator ain't that easy.
With great power comes great retardity...wait. that didn't come out right.

anyway...

First up, promotions! haven't done that for a while.
no new members either. should get in some fresh talent.
so first up, is Ichabot/Synyster6661/Kenny!!!
We went on a school trip of sorts to KL for a week.
Mostly we did outdoor stuff like rock climbing, rafting etc.
During abseiling, the key is to keep your legs apart.
This prevents you from spinning - and hitting the side of the cliff. ow.
and he forgot, and spun. a bit.
just a few cm away from the wall.
and.... he licked it.
yup. he licked the rock.
and he said it was salty.

much later, we were doing an obstacle course in Eagle Ranch, Port Dickson.
there was a mud pit we had to wade through.
it wasn't watery, mind you, it was THICK AND SLIMY.
and he went a bit too close.
and...well...
he said it tasted better than the rock.

Therefore, he is promoted to Platinum with Dishonor!
Platinum can be given immediately for performing feats others wouldn't want to try.
Dishonor? He didn't save some for us. LOL. HAHAHA
freaked you out eh

and next is...well, well, well.
This is the post name again, signifying the importance of this part.
A new rank has been created.
Platinum with dishonor...with dishonor.
AND IT GOES TO NONE OTHER THAN BUGS!!!!
Why? Why???!! WHY?!?!?!?1111!11

...I can't tell you =p
Under the new Retard Secrecy Act,
- Certain pieces of confidential information are now classified.
- These are potentially threatening to the wellbeing of the person.
- It is only viewable and permissible to view by the supreme leader. (well, me =D)
- Penalty for breaking this rule will not be imposed by United Stupidity.
- However, expect dismemberment, castration, and stampeding water buffaloes.
- This information may be filed under the "Retarded Book of Secrets"
- All blame for the above cliche goes to the producer of National Treasure 2.

well, there you have it.

and about the Fall Out Boy Concert yesterday...
please hold a second of silence for all those who could not attend.
namely, all of us. AAAAARGGH.
It's the A7X concert all over again.
Ask tons of people to go, none can make it.
oh well.

I now listen to opera and symphonies!!!

..I'm joking. right?
yeah. kinda.
but anyway, check out Nightwish.
It's a...symphonic metal band.
basically, they play symphonies. and metal. at the same time.
not really metal. much softer, a bit of rock and instrumental too.
sounds spastic, but actually is quite good.
although they're split into two kinds...
the old albums has a singer who belongs in opera, rather than in a band.
the new album (Dark Passion Play) has a normal singer.
listen to the difference and you'll know.
besides, a lot of piano and no screaming/shouting/yelling at all from what i heard.

Old albums
-----------
Ever Dream
Deep Silent Complete
Nemo
End of all hope
Elvenpath
Moondance

Dark Passion Play
-----------------
Amaranth
Eva
Bye Bye Beautiful
The Islander

those are the ones I have anyway.
personally I prefer the latest album, the opera singing is a bit...heavy.
and still, here's some other stuff to check out.

Lost - Verax
I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy
Before I Forget - Slipknot
The Day That Never Comes - Metallica
Indestructible - Disturbed
Green Tinted Sixties Mind - Mr Big
Jesus Of Suburbia - Green Day
Pork and Beans - Weezer
Pieces - Sum 41
Rockstar - Nickelback
It's Not My Time - 3 Doors Down
Krwlng - Linkin Park (the Reanimation version)

To top off the music update, here's a list of Avenged Sevenfold songs.
The nicer ones. A lot.

A Little Piece of Heaven
Afterlife
Almost Easy
Bat Country
Beast And The Harlot
Blinded In Chains
Brompton Cocktail
Chapter Four
Critical Acclaim
Dancing Dead
Dear God
Girl I Know
Gunslinger
I Won't See You Tonight Pt. 1
Lost
M.I.A
Remenissions
Scream
Second Heartbeat (Live in the LBC)
Sidewinder
To End The Rapture
Unholy Confessions
Warmness On The Soul

speaking of bands, there are two music based competitions coming up.

One, there is the Battle of the Bands.
Held in Singapore at some international school.
More details later, I don't know if entry is over or not.
But Martin got me to join...brainwashing? Subliminal messages? ESP?
I don't know. But there are 3 of us. All guitarists.
If we make it through the auditions, I'll ROFLMAOL all the way home.

With more hope, the FOA.
Held in EC in Johor Bahru.
It will be later in the year, maybe during the June holidays.
Thing is, anyone can join. Anyone.
So...calling all tards' again.
Anyone who can play in a band spam the cbox.
Bugs, Street2Fifa, Martin, me and another non-tard can play guitar.
Bugs also doesn't mind vocals, neither do I but Bugs is better. I think.
Yan Feng should do drums. He plays freaking sick.
Dumbortz as keyboard? Last I heard, he was qualified to teach piano. o_O

Oh and speaking of Dumbortz...
Any 'tard can prove the rumour that he found another..TSN
you know..Tan. Shing. Nevermind.
HaAAHAHAaaaaaaaaaHAAAAAAAAAAA
I also have been prone to laughing fits recently.
Must be the air.

[J0HnA55]

update(?)

2009-01-09T01:02:00.002+08:00

First up, happy bday J0N0!!!
May ur a55 be pwnED..uh...ur a55 be pwning!
your one is kinda easy to remember..8th Jan eh.

Second, Rock Band is fun.
Yes, it is. But...
please be careful while drumming.
don't grip the sticks too hard.
I was whackin like mad, then i wondered...why does my finger hurt?
I looked..to see that the skin had been RUBBED off.
One big piece crumpled up.
Then the pain hit. LoL.
Not that bad, but no more drummin for a while =(
so...you get the picture.

Third, this internet connection is laggy.
I'm outta here.

[J0HnA55]

...And all things will end?

2008-12-31T21:20:00.005+08:00

Maybe. Anywayv this year is ending. Not sure that I'm lookin forward to next...
O Levels. =(
But anyway, you gotta say that this one was not bad.
Even with stuff like PMR.
Speakin of PMR..
'grats to all who did well.
'grats to all who didn't.
If you did well, you gonna be happy I suppose.
If you didn't do well, oh well. -_- you can try to be happy.

so...to end of this year of stupidity (our 2nd)
I will finally..post all the videos and the updates.
Yeah, it'll take lots of time...but it's worth it.

what's first? hmm...

...I know...
it's what y'all been waitin for.

JP'08!!!!
yeah. it went along smoothly(?)
Xtreme Hitz wasn't ready, so I burned an A7X disc there. left it behind too =(
Lots of Halo 3 mixed with CoD 4 and a bit of some fighting game..
think it was DC VS Mortal Kombat or something like that.
we watched 4 and a half hours of South Park =D
freakin hilarious. especially Imaginationland..one and a half hours..haha
the band stuff wasn't that great, but it was still fun.
mostly everyone took turns trying out the drums and the guitar.
yan feng brought an amp so we had an electric, an acoustic and drums.
keyboard didn't work. ask J.
oh yeah, and J kept playing Stand By Me.
the worst was when he played it on my electric, LOUD. in the morning.
when some of us were sleepin.
daaamn, i hate that song now -_-
but yeah J's not bad. Yan feng's drums are OWNAGE. (well at least to [US])
we did Beast and the Harlot by a7x...up to the chorus. my guitar wasn't good enough.
but soon, maybe. yeah.
but what set this JP apart?
well, every year, since P2 i think, we had water fights/battles/wars
depending on size of house and number of people..hehe
but always, the highlights were at MP (my house) and JP.
somehow these two parties had largest number of water guns.
every year, the battles get better and better.
starting around P6, when we had street warfare at my house.
chased JJ and madridista around my neighbourhood
then in sec 1, we had "armour" at JP (boxes)
last year, we had a breakthrough. we played in the rain.
of course, it was disorderly. nobody knew what was happening.
but this year...what happened?
we played. at night.
started at 10pm, finished about 12.30 (past midnight)
it was awesome. not too dark, not too bright. J has quite a few lights in his garden.
we played something like assault in halo3 and CoD4.
simple, really. divided into two teams, 5 of us in assault, 4 in defense.
the defenders get 2 hoses and 2 guns. They defend the hoses.
the attackers get 5 guns, and they need to turn off both hoses to win.
if anyone gets shot, they have to retreat to their starting position.
a bit difficult for the attackers to win though. the game drags very long.
the hose positions were difficult too. the defenders had only 2 approach methods.
oh and although ppl tried hiding in all sorts of places...one really stood out.
let's just say...dumbortz started it. he went...fishing.

that's right. he hid in...the fish pond.
he was hiding underwater...with the hose.
we never saw him coming.
as I ran back, after getting shot, I talked to Elson (on my team):

JA: uhh..elson?
E: yeah?
JA: how long since the pond got cleaned?
E: (laughing) a year ago.
JA: ....

and I thought to myself... how much shit can fish produce in a year?

by the end, nearly everyone had gotten into the pond.
but dumbortz was the only one who went underwater.
he was the only one who itched afterwards.

then we had a power slide competition.

here are the pics and vids.
Disclaimer: this post has tons of 'em. may be laggy.
for the weird pictures of bugs, here are instructions.
1) save all three pictures on your computer
2) put them in a new folder.
3) copy bugsanimation(1).jpg
4) rename it to bugsanimation(4).jpg
5) make sure they are in order. the one without a number first, (4) the last.
6) open the first one and press the right arrow key. continously.

if you did it correctly, you get a stupid animation.
congratulations.

the last two are of us in the pond.
the lighting was poor for camera. so the vid is also dark.

NOTE. there seems to be a problem. i can only insert one. what. the hell.
umm, meet me if you wanna see the others =D
not my fault ok? honest.

anyway, here are some random pics.
first up, I got an a7x tattoo!!!!1!
A Deathbat (their logo) on my hand.
believe it? or not.

...not.
I did it with pen. was bored. lol.

then, a pic of my guitar.

remember the ball stuck in the arcade? (previous post)
can't remember who did it. check it out.
but this photo proves that someone else dumber is out there...

and finally, here's one of Diablo 2. It's a RPG on PC.
if you played it before, this photo will be pretty surprising.
look carefully.....

btw, it's a level 99 necromancer with 40 skeletons.
I hacked, ok?

for the rest of the vids, i'm trying to put it in a zip file.
then i'll make it available for download somewhere, k?

so anyway, it's been a good year, overall.
granted, many of the things that were supposed to happen went wrong.
but we should be grateful that so many others went right.
from bein' jackasses at Giant to playing Daytona at the arcade
from retarded school videos to goin to the studio
from frying my router (not literally) to disturbing students at my centre
from capturing the fag in halodude's pool to the mass KS breakout on Bugs' bday
from power slides to burnt pizza
from MP'08 to JP'08 and all the other parties
from Malaysia to Singapore, Indonesia, Australia and New Zealand.

it's been one retarded year. thanks for the memories.

Happy New Year.

[J0HnA55]

...

2008-12-13T21:01:00.002+08:00

.....omg
we made it.
JP is gonna be on the 19th and 20th.
everyone can make it!!! (well..nearly everyone. I'm still persuading)
the freakin' relief...I can't describe it (sounds stupid, I know)
but I tend to get retarded at this kinda stuff.
well..all kinds of stuff.

I'M OFF TO CELEBRATE!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[J0HnA55]

sigh

2008-12-11T22:22:00.001+08:00

things aren't the way they used to be.
seriously...remember that song by Yellowcard? Shadows and Regrets?
I made a post about something like that further down anyway.. see it if you want.

well if you think about it, things have changed a lot since back then.
most obvious, we don't have enough time. we're all busy with schedules and stuff.
so arranging stuff...lke, a party, is more difficult. (know what I'm gettin at?)
k. enough already. bad news. JP is going to shit.

...why am I not surprised?

here's the situation:

JP takes place on the 18th and 19th.

Current details -
Halodude is on holiday. He's out.
S0aP L0Rd is going on school trip.
I've got some course and shit on the 17th and 18th.
Dumbortz is in Korea.
Street2Fifa probably won't make it if I don't go.
(anyway he's in deep shit for something)

and that's not all.

Uncle Tai has gone to KL. So we have to take our own transport.
And how we gonna do that? This ain't a few years ago.
Find someone's parents who are willing to drive us to Kulai?
...so we take taxi.
Aha, a good solution!
BUT...some of our parents won't allow us to take taxi all the way to Kulai.
So if we go ahead with the arranged date...

here's who is turning up

Bugs
Lord Megadeath
J0N0 (?)
Dumbortz (?)

Not sure if J0N0's dad will let him take taxi...
and if Dumbortz can, or if he's back from Korea.

...see the problem?
and we won't have 8 player 360 (cuz only I have the xbox wireless adapter)
and the electric guitar (I'm the only one)
and XtRemE HitZ (duh)
and the South Park season (by Street2Fifa)
and the extra laptops for LAN (soap lord too)
and the controllers and 360 (halodude)
and even the water guns (dumbortz??? u there?)

well, there's an alternative though.
if...IF...
if J can move it to the 19th and 20th. IF.
now this is where it gets tricky.
my dad has volunteered to bring me, and TWO of us, to JP.
here's the catch.
the two of them...are J0N0 and street2fifa.
don't ask why. I can't answer any better than you can.
I can only bring the electric guitar if the two of them ONLY go.

...well...it should be pretty obvious.
would I trade a piece of metal and wires for y'all?
its bros before hos. (assumin my guitar is a girl)
so we'll just make do with acoustics.

BUT.
my dad only will take the two of them, ANYWAY.
plus our luggage, my car's gonna be pretty full.
tried bargaining..didn't work.
lucky enough that we've got half the transport ready.
for the others, i suppose you should go ahead with the original plan, except its on the 19th instead.
Uncle Tai is sending us back so don't worry about that.

so..this plan all depends on asking J to convince his parents to postpone it.
well, I tried asking him last night.
unfortunately, he seems a little more dense than usual.
he laughed a lot and then the line was cut.
so I called again. and he said, well, it's your loss...not mine.
also, he said his balls were with bugs, so he couldn't talk properly.
good explanation? retarded one I guess.
and anyway...I'm waiting.
No answer from his phone. and time grows shorter...

so anyway, I'll post again when I get the news.
for now, when it comes, if it comes...
all of you who get to go, enjoy it.
cuz things change over time...
and how long do you think this will last?

[J0HnA55]

*update* Dumbortz is back from Korea. probably can make it

Prepare Yourselves. It's Coming.

2008-12-09T11:23:00.002+08:00

I'm sure y'all know what "it" is.
Well, it's not what you think it may be. (especially Bugs)
Its probably what you think it could be, especially what you hope it will be.

IT'S JP 08! HELL YEAH!
18 - 19 December (well duh)

who's goin? as far as I know...

Dumbortz
Bugs
J0n0
S0ap LorD
Lord Megadeth
Street2fifa
and of course...me

too bad Halodude couldn't make it.
He's missed FIVE PARTIES already (two JPs, two MPs and Bugs' bday)
let's leave three lines in this post as a mark of respect.

As I was saying...
We're meeting at Sweethome Kopitiam (Taman Pelangi, near Leisure Mall)
Bugs kopitiam is closed. on thursdays. so we meet next door =D (which is Sweethome)
at 12 noon. have your own lunch first (you can always eat there lol)

IMPORTANT

BRING MONEY FOR TAXI
At least RM15
Uncle Tai is away, so we'll need to order 2 taxis to bring us to Kulai.
If the cost is lower, keep your money!
Simple. Sweet. Effective. Expensive?
Daamn...

Also -
Clothes
Towel
Water Guns (empty balloons too)
Music
Consoles (Lord Megadeth BRING YOUR 360 OMG PLS)
anything else you want.

I'm burnin an unusual number of CDs.
At least one A7X, one for Anberlin, 2 metal compilations and of course, XtreMe HitZ.

Street2Fifa is bringing a SEASON of South Park. it's freaking funny.

Well, that's all the news on JP I suppose.
Videos and shit coming next post (sorry, I know. Keep getting delayed)
oh and...I GOT AN ELECTRIC GUITAR!!! (next post too)

[J0HnA55]

........

2008-11-27T11:47:00.002+08:00

I don't know what I just said...
But I know I just said it. - Bugs

Genius.

Anyway...movies on your mind, anyone?
I saw some..(and want to see more too =D)

First up, Quantum Of Solace.
All thos who understood the plot say "Aye".

(silence)

Aha. I thought so. The action, special effects are nice. But the plot...wtf?
I didn't understand a shit (neither did Bugs, and we don't think its cuz of 'tardity)
Ah well.

Madagascar 2 was freakin funny. Seriously.

There was this part where they had no water, so they decided to sacrifice someone...
by throwing him into the volcano. Then the leader said:

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses"

Probably the accent too (King Julien the Lemur...the one that likes to move it)
But anyway Megadeath said it fits for JP.
Maybe when it comes...let's speculate later. Just. In. Case.

And there was a random trailer...
where someone said, "You have no brain"
then the reply was, "Turns out you don't need one"

Fitting.

Twilight is coming out soon. Based on a great book series.

About JP, this is the first time in history we had a waiting list. (well not really)
Ppl are just more obvious about trying to get there.
And J seems to be reducing the numbers of the chosen.

ARISE, FELLOW 'TARDS!
REVOLT! REBEL! RIOT!
ONE FOR ONE AND ALL FOR ALL, Y'ALL! (leeched)

Or maybe we could discuss it nicely with him.
You decide.

[J0HnA55]

It's that time of year again...

2008-11-25T13:03:00.005+08:00

When stupidity REIGNS!!!
Happy Holidays y'all!

(hope you saw Street2Fifa's greetings)

Well...whatever we've had on: PMR, camps, re-exams (yeah me only i know)
We still get at least a month and a half. Not baad. Not bad at all.
How not to be bored:

1)GAMES

HOlY Shit. Look at those games.
- Red Alert 3
- Gears of War 2
- Fable 2
- Spore
- And it goes on and on and on (just to name a few)

lots of titles out. play. go forth and PLAY. dammit.

2)MUSIC
oh yeaaah.
wait. see the bottom of this post for more information.

3)RETARDITY
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
send us photos and videos of your retardity.
We WILL promote you (unless you're platinum already)
(but send em' in anyway)

kk anyway, a short distraction... (creds to Geetha for this - see Blogz)
(I edited some of the answers. original at the abovementioned)

Ever had trouble writing a letter? Use this template and gain all the confidence you need! 100% guaranteed to work. Satisfaction rates are classified. Any physical, mental or emotional harm that comes to you from using this template has nothing to do with me. or [US]. Use the survey below to fill the template.

*Template:Dear (whoever):I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) (11).___12___,(Your name)

-1. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR SHIRT?
Blue - You have 48 hours left to live
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'm joining the monastery
Black - My ass hurts
Green - Our horoscopes don't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - The Russians are coming
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. WHICH IS YOUR BIRTH MONTH?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit
April - When you put cuffs on me
May - When I got lost
June - When I tripped on sesame seeds
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When September ended
October - When we skinny dipped
November - When your dog got rabies
December - When my car blew up

3. WHICH FOOD DO YOU PREFER?
Tacos - In your teepee
Pizza - On your bed
Pasta - At the mental hospital
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate munchies
Chicken - In Bat Country
Kebabs - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the graduation party
Lasagna - Across the border
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR SOCKS?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Fall head over heels onto
Barefoot- Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR UNDERWEAR?
White - Your father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Black - My fart balloon
Brown - A disabled llama
Purple - My mustard bottle
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My nightstand collection
Pink - The Black Rabbits' goalkeeper
None - The Statue of Liberty
Other - The crazy monk

6. WHAT DO YOU PREFER TO WATCH ON TV?
Cartoons - Spastic
Anime - Weird
Music Videos - Hungry
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - Drunk
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. YOUR MOOD RIGHT NOW?
Happy - How enthusiastic I've felt
Sad - How boring this is
Bored - That Santa Doesn't Exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That the kettle is boiling over
Excited - That something is out there
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That Sasquatches can fly
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That we are the shadows and cannot be seen
Other - That High School Musical sucks

8. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM?
Yellow - Your love letters
White - Your common sense
Red - Your Darth Vader poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your virginity
Grey - Our matching underwear
Purple - Your old parking coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories

9. THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR FIRST NAME?
A/B - Your photo album
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My peanut shells
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your jackass collection
M/N - Your dog's spleen
O/P - Bob Marley
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your used tissue
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - The strawberry river
Y/Z - Half of the table

10. THE LAST LETTER IN YOUR LAST NAME?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. WHAT DO YOU PREFER TO DRINK?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - Your new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. TO WHICH COUNTRY WOULD YOU PREFER TO GO ON A VACATION?
Thailand - This message will self-destruct in 10..9..8..
USA - Salutations from the Motherland
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - Unwilling to write this
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Boo-hoo now
France - In pain
Malaysia - Your a55 be pwn3d
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Examples

Dear Bugs: I don't really know how to tell you this, but my ass hurts. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds at the mental hospital and I saw you carve your intials into a disabled llama. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that Sasquatches can fly. I'm returning your common sense to you, but I'll keep your dog's spleen as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about your new life as a clone. Your a55 be pwn3d, J0HnA55.

Dear J0HnA55: I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it when I got lost in women's clothing...(you get the idea)

Anyway
IT's That Time Of Year...
WHEN JP IS COMING!!!!
Somewhere in December 1st to 10th..
no other info.
sorry lol..

J0HnA55

More Stubs

2008-11-11T23:08:00.003+08:00

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.................../..../....….….............\ ....\..................

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........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\......../¯˝\.......\....\...\'\........

........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...').…('…'\~¯....`...`…)')…..

.........\.................'...../….…\.....'................./……

..........''...\.......... _.·´….. ….`·._............./..."……

............\..............(..………….) ............../……..

..............\.............\................./ ............./……..

From Street2Fifa

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

This Post is a Stub.

2008-10-05T21:38:00.000+08:00

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....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
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........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

THIS POST IS LONG OVERDUE.

2008-07-12T17:03:00.003+08:00

yeah. what he said.

wait a minute...he is me.
So if what he said is what I said,
this is him doing this post.

let's not go into it...

sorry that this post is like two months late, really busy..
what with exams and all that shit.
firstly, good luck to all taking their PMR this year.
keep goin. wanna see y'all at JP'08, YEEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! (anticipation started liao)

random quotes:
"I think, therefore I am." - Rene Descartes, intellectual dude
"I think, therefore I not be tard." - [J0HnA55], SUPREME LEADER

but think you must, if you are to remain happy. (you know what I mean)
there are inspirational (?) pictures at the end of this post.
you know...the kind with a picture, a word below, and a message.
whether they inspire you or not... well...

first things first,
AP'08 was not bad.
more dudes came along this time.
usual halo 3, new map called Cold Storage (not the supermarket, douchebaaaaag)

Best Player: Zul
Achievements: Pwnt. Everybody. Xcept' Halodude, who was inactive as usual anyway.
Quote: Wah Die!

Worst Player: Twit
Achievements: Got Pwnt. By Everybody. Including Halodude.
Quote: &@#&% &%@ $c&$#@% &@$#%@&$#%&$% &#@ &@$#&@$ &%@ @&&$#!!!

We played Gears of War as well (Lester/Satesh brought it, can't remember who)
Halodude was hooked...played all the way until the Berserker.

Then during the usual BBQ, we did loads of dumb stuff...can't remember all.
We did parodies of Tenacious D...sooo bored.
It. Was. Retarded. (Why am I not surprised?)
Michael and Xie Hang were Jables and Kage, I was Beezelboss.
at the end, twit dragged me along the floor (beezelboss falls back into the hole)
everyone was laughing like mad dogs.
we also did power slides!
twit brought leg guards, we took turns slidin'
and that brings us to the second record holder;
For being promoted from Bronze to Gold during the same day he joined...
??????? (I FORGOT HIS NAME. oops)
he did teh power slide.
came running, shouted, jumped, slid.
ripped his jeans at the knees. open.
took the pic but its with someone. post it later.

only other record holder is Ichabot (kenny)
he borrowed some watches and wore all eight to assembly (2 hours due to performance)

next up on the list,

United Stupidity's band is IN PROGRESS!
really.
the lineup is a bit screwed up:

Martin - Lead Guitar
Ichabot (Kenny) - Rhythm Guitar
J0HnA55 (me) - Drums/Vocals

told you it was screwed up.
Bugs was supposed to be the vocalist...
but he went and joined Untold Prophecy or Prophecy Untold or sumthin like that.
H4Xx0r.
anyway he suggested a name...

Prophets
Of
Retard
Nation

figure it out yourself. that name has BUGS written all over it.

i'm vocalist cuz the other two don't even wanna try.
they say that they can't sing without starting an apocalypse.
I should sing cuz I only start a disaster.

...see the logic?

Bands that we may cover:
Avenged Sevenfold
Green Day
Disturbed
Metallica
Bowling For Soup
Nirvana
Radiohead
and of course,
Tenacious D! WE REIGN!

speakin of bands...

Anberlin.
they rock.
- A Whisper And A Clamor
- Godspeed
- Paperthin Hymn
- A Day Late
- Inevitable
just to name a few.
check it out.

and...

quiet, you might piss somebody off...

He who makes a beast out of himself
Gets rid of the pain of being a man...

Self righteousness is wearing thin
I'll bleed but not for fellow man...

I feel insane every single time I'm asked to compromise
‘Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways and that’s the way it stays..

Like walking into a dream
So unlike what you've seen
A place of hope and no pain
Perfect skies and no rain..

Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die,
We look up towards the sky for answers to our lives.
We may get some solutions but most just pass us by,
Don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right...

With peace of mind so hard to find
We're dwelling on the drastic signs
Another way to numb your mind...

Give me a chance to be the person I wanna be
Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live...

and many mistakes can hurt,
I'm not the last but I'm sure ain't the first!

AVENGED SEVENFOLD!!!
Need I say more?
Freakin' awesome.

- Almost Easy
- Afterlife
- Lost
- Critical Acclaim
- Dear God
- Bat Country
- Beast And The Harlot

check those out, especially the Almost Easy music video

best of all,

THEY'RE COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!!
24th October, MAX Pavilion @ Singapore Expo
$95 :(
oh well, start savin' up if you're short of cash.
Cause.
They.
Rock.

it's gonna be worth it.

and since I'm having end of year exams now (posted this over 2 days, draft saved)
this is the end of the post.
here are the pics.
enjoy.
be inspired.

AP'08!!! Teh Realz One

2008-07-09T12:59:00.009+08:00

AP08 is here!!!
The real AP'08 that is.
The earlier one was AP Junior 08 (hanna's bday)
well sry fr the updates being so slow...
not much time.
and I can't find my handphone transfer cable.
too bad...so many nice new pics and vids...

well anyway.
wanna be famous?
here's a step by step method.

Disclaimer : This idea was totally concieved and carried out by me.
All credits go to me for the idea, and to the people who does it after reading this.
I am not responsible for fires, suffocation, food poisoning etc. caused.
My only regret is not taking videos of the event, I was preoccupied.
Try it. You'll know why.

Presenting...

How NOT to cook a Pizza (pics up in next post)

1)Buy a microwaveable pizza (from a supermarket maybe)
2)Wait for it to be frozen (give a day or two)(in the freezer duh)
3)Unwrap, place in a bowl.
4)Set microwave to 6 minutes (my timing, may differ with microwaves)
Warning: This is the dangerous part.
After 2 min, you should see pizza "melting".
After 5 min and 30 seconds, start recording video.
Take what's happening inside the microwave.
Smoke should be coming out from the ventilation now.
Six min? Stop.
Wear goggles and tie cloth around your mouth.
OPEN The MICROWAVE.
-------------------------------------------------
Green smoke should start filling your kitchen.
With luck, it will fill your whole house.
It happened to me.
The smell stayed for 18 hours or so.
Open all your windows if you're smart.
Just record the smoke coming out, post it somewhere.

Btw, be careful if you're dumb enuf to try this.
I dun want your house to burn down..we're short of tards.
So if you really wanna..make sure you have safety precautions and stuff.
The pizza slice was BLACK.
The bowl was stained black.
The pizza was hard...
Don't taste it. Don't...

Besides that..

AP'08!!!!!
Weee!!!!
the real one. The earlier one was APJunior 08 (hanna's bday)
so we're gonna make retard history again.

8 PPL HALO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woot...

-the band is more successful now.
Although we lack members and instruments...
We made a few riffs, not bad (in general opinion)
May post here, but quality sucks (was taken using handphone)
we're gonna "perform" at AP08.

Members: Martin (guitarist)
Me (drummer/vocals)
Kevin (vocals)
Jackie (trombone)
Instruments: Electric Guitar, Acoustic Guitar and a trombone.
Obviously we don't really need the trombone.
I'm the drummer. I have no drums.
kevin and me probably gonna sing the shit (like shit, for shit)
Songs? Besides our stuff...
We're trying guitar for...
Tribute - Tenacious D
The Metal - Tenacious D
Master Exploder - Tenacious D
Holiday - Green Day
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Those we can "do" anyway. Guitar only tho.

Oh well. Shoestealer's been harrasin me while I post this.
I'ma go kick his ass.

[J0HnA5$]

MP'08 Waz A Blast!!!!!

2008-06-17T17:37:00.003+08:00

yeah...it was.
anyway, it's my bday today, but I celebrated a few days back.
Unfortunately, Halodude and Dumbortz couldn't turn up.
However, at least we had Soap Lord, J, Elson, Megadeath, Twit and Bugs.
It was a historic moment in more ways than one.
To all people with 360s...Please get modem/router and connect your 360 to it.
That way, you will be able to play LAN on a wireless network.
CUZ NOW, WE CAN PLAY 8 PPL!!!! WOOOHOOOOO!!!!
yeah, that's right.
eight. freaking. people.
thanks to a wireless adapter on my 360, all we need now are 2 TVs and a router!
A55 gonna be pwn3d often now.
Especially during JP, where there are 3 (i think) tvs.
Weeeeee. WEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Pics coming up soon. Haven't been able to collect em.

Well the ppl started arriving round 2.
Nothing much at first, just blasting a bit of music.
when J arrived, we set up his 360 as well.

---Warning---
This is IMPORTANT.
we learnt it the hard way.

Do NOT: (we did it in this order)
connect the first 360 to a router. (cable)
Connect the router to a hub. (cable)
connect the hub to the second 360. (cable)
i think the point is NOT to use the hub.
cuz after a while, we smelt something..funny.
Burning? more like weird burning. with something else.
then, I looked at the router....

...

the router was SmoKIN!!!
smoke was pouring from the bottom.
The wood below was starting to warp.
Then...the power went off.

so...
you get the point. ehe.

we had six controllers.
Five of us played until Bugs arrived
(soap lord was busy playing DotA AI)
(heresy...i think)
was damn fun.
somehow, megadeath was using Bugs.
So Bugs got other names...like Bones and even SAUSAGE.
haha..people were shouting FRY THE SAUSAGE!!! FRY IT!!!!
played mostly halo...

then some of us moved to DotA...only 2 laptops tho.
I lost all of them...sob sob...
MegaDeath and Bugs were slaughtering me.
Then they thought J to slaughter me.
Waaaaah.

dinner was usual...
plus satay and sausages and stuff.
haha, we dumbasses still playin Pokemon cards.
me and J tag team against bugs and megadeath.
Score?
1-1

not bad...

here's a little sumthin I made.
It's a parody of "Throw the Jew down the well" by Borat.
AKA In My Country there is problem.
Dedicated to Bugs and Dumbortz (who are in the class) and Twit (the subject)
Imagine you are in a class with the three of them. Especially twit (kevin)

Presenting...

In my Tuition there is Problem

This song is called In My Tuition There Is Problem

In my tuition there is problem
And that problem is transport
The student always coming late
Then my teacher get angry

Throw transport down the well
So my teacher can be free
You must make the travel faster
Then we have a big party

In my tuition there is problem
And that problem is aircon
It always never working properly
Then the teacher feeling hot

Throw aircon down the well
So my teacher can be free
You must make the tuition cooler
Then we have a big party

In my tuition there is problem
And that problem is the twit
He always make a lot of trouble
He make my teacher have a fit

Throw Kevin down the well
So my teacher can be free
You must kick him on his ass
Then we have a big party

If you see the twit coming
You must be careful of his pee
You must take away his headphones
Come I show you how to do

Throw Kevin down the well
So my teacher can be free
You must kick him on his ass
Then we have a big party!!!

hahaha
aha
ha

making a parody of I'm A Twit next.

oh and I'm trying to make a Halo Music Video using the clips from the party.

[J0HnA55]

One Year Of Retardity

2008-05-23T23:10:00.002+08:00

Well..today is a historic day for us.

This is the first anniversary of United Stupidity.
One year ago on this day, (Halodude's sister's bday)
We formed this group.

Now, from a handful of people...
We have over 30 members.
We had successful events and produced successful things.
JP'07.
Party Boy.
These are just two examples of our accomplishments.

Lasting this long wasn't just luck.
The enthusiasm displayed by our members has not died out yet.
Thanks to that, we continue.
And this blog is still up and running..well.
Also to the guests, who help keep the cbox alive.
And to all of you, for continuing to pwn ass.

Anyway,

THE CAMP IS CANCELLED.
wtf.
can't help it.
I decided to cancel, cause the guest list was reduced to THREE FREAKIN PPL.
You all know, that first, those "unknown" ppl were left out.
Then, people were ticked off one by one.
Now, Bugs has to go off to KL.
I doubt J would want to attend, after my mum cancelled TWO MORE PEOPLE.
Now, there is left Halodude, Martin and me.
Not much of a camp.
Seriously sorry for the failure of this event.
We'll have to find a new location.
Or change our entire plan.
Hopefully, something good will come our way soon.

Good news?
Me, Street2Fifa, Martin, Argo, Zul and Xie Hang are at Halodude's house.
Most of us are stayin over.
Presenting...(tomorrow la)

GAN PUA LE EH CH33 BY3 LIVE!!!!
Martin - Guitar
Me - Vocals
Street2Fifa - Bridge

Its stupid.
More stuff comin up soon.

[J0HnA55]

7 Hours Left To...

2008-05-22T17:19:00.002+08:00

But first, let me distract you from the strange title...

WAHOOOOOOOO!!!! EXAMS ARE OVERRR!!!!!!!!!!
yeah. holidays begun for us ppl studying in Singapore lol.
Good luck to the ppz havin their exams soon/now.
May the 'tard be with you.

anyway, first things first.

HAPPY BDAY DUMBORTZ!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well sry dude, I know it's kinda late to post this.
But I had exams so...
-_-''

too bad ya didn't have a big party this year.

I was really bored last night so...I made music videos!
Inspired by Disturbed's "Down With The Sickness", I made two videos.
One featured the movie Hitman, the other the video for Linkin Park's PTS OF ATHRTY.
Kinda amateurish..but not bad for a first try, say the ppl who saw it.
So I be loading it here, or on YouTube. Keep checking...

Now, if you're wondering what is happening in 7 hours...
Which is tomorrow btw...
Tomorrow is a special day.
Those well versed in Retard Lore should know. The answer may be here on the blog.
Anyway...it's gonna be BIG. Sry I can't reveal it yet.
The post should come out later tomorrow afternoon or evening...
That may give you a hint of what's happening.

How do you keep a retard in suspense?

...I'll tell you tomorrow.

[J0HnA55]

Exams delayed the posts. Sorry all.

2008-05-13T20:30:00.004+08:00

Well, the heading says it all yo.
lol.

I'm back. So are the others. Got a few announcements to make.

Camp is ON. (MOST LIKELY)
However, attendance is horribly limited....
Really bad. Lots of people cut off
Especially ANYONE WHO MY MUM DOESN'T KNOW!!!! WTF!!!! thx a lot.
So I'm damn sorry to all you guys, have to wait for JP. Can't do anything about it.
I tried...Failed. MY 360 nearly disappeared. Put up a good argument for y'all tho.

Seriously..I wonder why my mum did that. Most cruel move I've seen for years.
She says that next year you all can though. If this year goes well.
Kinda sad that my mum recieves a lot of law work from this particular person instead.
Or else it could have gone better. Well the work is more important anyway.
Haiz...

The sad part. From the Malaysia side, only Dumbortz, Bugs, J and Halodude are allowed
I know this cuts the list even deeper. Spent an hour trying to undo this move.
Of course...had no chance. Can't cancel the whole camp cuz of this. Sorry again.
Especially to those who waited eagerly. Wait a bit more for JP, all can attend then.
Its J's house anyway, his parents don't lose anything if it gets messed up.

Anyway forget all that stuff for now. Lets go on to the good stuff.

We are proud to announce a new section!

Presenting....

RETARD RADIO!!!!
This new segment, done by Ichabot, Martin and me, is dumb. Real dumb.
It features a series of sound clips recorded by us. Stupid clips of course.
Added in with music and special effects....
Produced weekly/fortnightly, a drawback - no production during holidays.
Unless of course, we collaborate on MSN. Which is possible. But harder.

And to top it off, we're GONNA FORM A BAND!!!!
This will be damn hard to pull off.
But there are some plus sides!

Martin has an acoustic guitar, electric guitar, amplifier AND effects (with pedal)
Ichabot has electric guitar and amp too (unfortunately, its in Indonesia)
Dumbortz has a retardedly high grade in piano (so he can play keyboard/synthesizer)

But...

How the hell do we meet up? (members from three different countries)
The only drum set is with J. And he's away all the time. Lives in Kulai. ><
Vocals gonna be..interesting.

Candidates for vocals:

Bugs
Jono
Me

well..bugs is ok.
Jono is in New Zealand. That's definitely out.
Me? I can only do lower tones. High is out for me. And my singing is soft.
Besides, I wanna be drummer ^^

Anyone here can be vocals? Pls tell.
We also need a drum set, synthesizer/keyboard and bass.
Obviously we could use a piano, but which guy is gonna bring his?
We also need a studio for the amps to work. Not many ppl with compatible plugs.
But as for the look of it, it's pretty much ok. See for yourself.

Disclaimer: I Cannot Play The Guitar (Well). That was my 4th time for Acoustic.
Even better, 1st time with Electric Guitar.

Actually this may have been a bad idea.
All those people wondering, "WHO THE HELL IS J0HNA55!!!!"
Have now a 50% higher chance of recognizing me.
After all, there are only two of us. LOL.
Took it at Martin's house. One is Ichabot. The other...well...

The sign was taken at a toilet.
I found it...

Interesting.

LOL
[J0HnA55]

HAPPY BDAY BUGS!!! MAY YOUR BALLS....

2008-04-19T23:00:00.002+08:00

NEVER DROP OFF!!!!

rite...

it's nothing to do with this video.

if ya remember, Bugs' mum never watched the whole movie (guess why)
so anyways

he was pissed cuz...

WE WERE ALL ACTING LIKE IDIOTS IN HIS KOPITIAM (LOUDLY TOO) !!!!1!!11!

oh well...can help or not?

anywayz...first things first (this post be crammed with pics and vids)

well that's us...
Bugs, MegaDeath, Vignesh, Dumbortz and me...
the others I'm not sure tho one guy is called Jacky (lol)

DotA?

we would have owned them.
Me (Zeus), Rtz (Nerubian Assassin), Jacky (Goblin Techies) and ??? (Razor)

VS

Bugs (Enigma), ??? (Troll Warlord), Vignesh (Sand King) and MegaDeath (Bounty Hunter)

We were owning them. Especially Razor

But...that goondu MegaDeath, had to target me...
Had to take Nerubian's DIVINE RAPIER...

oh well.

Speaking of parties, here's a little production by Street2Fifa, Emily and me.

hehe. That was...Party Boy!
Taken from the Jackass game (dancing in underwear in an electronics store)
so why not in swimming trunks in a condo? lol

Now we introduce some of the other members of US.

Martin - Armenian Waste Disposal

This guy...is...random.
Totally random.
Talks bullshit at the weirdest of times.
Likes to look spastic.

I rest my case
(btw that was taken in China)
He's in charge of the new Retard Radio that is in production.

Ichabot - The Watcher

This guy may have set a record...Bronze to Gold in 24 hours.
By humiliating himself for the sake of stupidity.
Man..he's got potential

wondered why he's the Watcher?
lol.
And the others are Death and Impressive (all Indonesians)

Btw, the three of us are working on Retard Radio.
It should be a weekly segment if everything goes right.
Trust me, it's spastic.

so just to end off, here's some stuff to think about

Joke...

Lame Joke!!!

hahahahahahhahahhaha

Random Stuff

2008-04-09T21:27:00.002+08:00

We at United Stupidity shall post on entirely random stuff when necessary.

Street2Fifa at Tuition (Twitisms)?
Maybe we should make this a regular section. Yes! I will!
Starting from now, we shall include several new sections.
Please look out for them.
They are: XtReMe HiTz, Movies and Twitisms (quotes from Street2fifa)
Man..that guy should feel honored...he now has an entire space fr himself.
Well, not much to post now. Can't think.
Possibly even a joke column? Maybe I'll post them here instead.
Well to kick things off..

This one is stupid. You may not understand it at first. But srsly

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some farkin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more farkin’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the farkin’ French toast."

haha.

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."

TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well... are you religious?" He said yes. I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ? "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist" "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

Two ministers doing missionary work in the South Seas are captured by a tribe and tied to stakes. The chief says to them, "You have a choice – death, or ugga bugga." The first guy says, "Well, I guess ugga bugga." The chief shouts "UGGA BUGGA!" and a tribesman takes a spear, stabs his genitals and leaves him to die. The chief then asks the second minister, "Now you have a choice, death or ugga bugga." He says "well, my religion does not allow me to choose ugga bugga, so I suppose it must be death." The chief says, "Very well," and shouts "DEATH...BY UGGA BUGGA!!!"

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on his ass by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?"

Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"

Second Place for this post (subjective)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

This one is champ. *Warning* Explicit Content (NOT)

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both
brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth
grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said.
"Okay" and she pulled up her skirt.
He looked and said, "That's right. You are! ? Better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said
to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers
down there too!" She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her!

She said, "Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!

HAHAHAAAHA

I know it's kinda late, but Happy April's Fools Day.

2008-04-04T21:02:00.004+08:00

Woah woah, yeah yeah
I know you hate me
Woah woah, yeah yeah
For prank calling you

HAhaaaHAaHhahA. Parody of Happy Birthday by the Click Five

well to kick this off,

More Videos From YouTube!

This time its Misheard Lyrics!
Get the original lyrics first before you watch for maximum laughter.

Bulls On Parade - RadioHead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MjST18L7V8&feature=related

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-NZWtTJYI

Dragostea Din Tei - OZone (Numa Numa) - This is the best so far-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfEE_nYehZ8&feature=related

This Ain't A Scene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LucfKdukf10&feature=related

Dance Dance (test recording)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7HulbCjkUs&feature=related

Temperature - Sean Paul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfXke_z6t3I&feature=related

Holiday - Green Day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzvODQSh9Rg&feature=related

All freakin stupid.

Next up, here are some jokes. This is seriously stupidly funny.
(Please be patient. They sound lame at first but...you'll see)

There was once a peanut and a muah chee. They lived in the same town, attended the sane schools and graduated together. The peanut became a lawyer, the muah chee became a doctor. Both jobs were problematic and the two went to a bar to relax. The peanut ordered a martini while the muah chee wanted beer. They both got drunk eventually and started arguing. Soon, they were fighting and the bartender threw them both out. Still angry, they rented a boat and rowed to the middle of a lake. There they continued their epic fight until THE PEANUT PUSHED THE MUAH CHEE INTO THE LAKE.

Now...what is better? Peanut or Muah Chee?

Peanut!!! It is smarter!!! It pushed the Muah Chee in!!! AHAHAAHAHAAHAHAA

There lived a freaking rich family. Their house had a golden roof, golden walls, golden ceiling, golden tiles, golden pillars, golden tables, golden chairs, golden stools, golden doors, golden windows, golden bathroom, golden toothbrush, golden toothpaste, golden sink, golden taps, golden mirror, golden pipes, golden toilet bowl, golden garden, golden flowers, golden grass, golden trees, golden dog, golden servants and more. They were bored. So, they boarded a golden plane, with golden tickets, and travelled to a golden country, where they got in a golden limousine with a golden chauffeur that drove them to a golden restraunt because they were hungry. They sat down with the golden forks, golden spoons, golden knives, golden chopsticks, golden bowls, golden plates, golden cups and golden trays.
TWO PEOPLE ORDERED NASI LEMAK, ONE PERSON ORDERED MEE SIAM.

What is better? Nasi Lemak or Mee Siam?

...Nasi Lemak!!! HAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHHAAHAHLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

There lived a king and a princess. The princess fell in love with a villager, and the king was very angry. He forbade her to see the villager. So she ran away with him, and the king was even angrier. He got on his magic horse and picked up his magic bow, magic arrows, magic sword, magic knife, magic dagger, magic axe, magic mace, magic spear, magic lance, magic trident, magic pistol, magic machine gun, magic flamethrower and magic BFG. Then he rode through the magic mountains, magic swamp, magic desert, magic jungle, magic forest, magic tundra and magic city before coming to a lake. The princess and villager were sitting by the lake. Taking aim, he shot the villager. The village fell into the lake. The princess screamed and jumped in to save him. WHAT DID THE PRINCESS FIND?

...

...

THE MUAH CHEE!!!!!!!!

ok. finished cracking up yet?

Next one.

What has a big head and a small body?

An ikan bilis with a helmet!!!

AhAHAHAAHHA

A plane was travelling across an ocean. There were 20 passengers on board. They were; the pilot, the co-pilot, the stewardess, the engineer, a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a businessman, a sailor, a soldier, a student, a chicken, President Bush, Borat, Homer Simpson, Barney,a father, his son and a retard.

The plane's engine exploded in midair. It began to lose altitude.
There were seventeen parachutes.

The crew had four with them, they used theirs and jumped out immediately.
Thirteen left.

The six working adults and the student all said they had a bright future.
So they jumped out too.
Six parachutes left.

Borat grabbed the chicken, stuffed it into his suitcase as a replacement (Azamat ate it during the documentary) and jumped out. Five parachutes, six people.

Bush, Homer and Barney jumped out. Of course, with their parachutes. Yeah.
Two left, for the father, the son and the retard.

The father said, "Son, I have lived my life well. You have a long future ahead of you. However, that retard needs a parachute as well, so climb onto my back and I'll jump"

So they jumped together and landed safely (after a while of course)

The retard kicked the parachute out of the plane and jumped after it. WHY???

...

Cuz he was a retard.

Two robbers decided to rob a bank. They broke in, only to find it deserted. They were surprised, but happy. They made their way to the safe to find it wide open, with billions of dollars inside. Stuffing them into their sacks, they left warily. Looking outside the bank from the window, they did not see any police around. They saw an ice cream truck, which they planned to hijack, however, two men and a bear got into it and drove off. Instead, they planned to run to their home, only a hundred metres from the bank. The street was deserted. THE MOMENT THEY STEPPED OUT, THEY DIED. WHY?

THE RETARD FELL ON THEM!!!!!

Down the road, there was a motorcycle. Whose was it?

THE IKAN BILIS WITH THE HELMET!!!!

AHAHAHAHAH
AHA
HA
HA
HA
HAAA
HAH
AA
HA
HAA
AAH
AHA

lol.

Hope you enjoyed this bullshit.
More jokes in next post.

On other news, we've got another candidate for HQ.

MoneySeeker's dad allows us to use a room in his house. WITH TV, AIRCON AND FURNITURE

WEEH

Questions Answered

2008-03-31T17:07:00.003+08:00

Hello, this be cow delivery.
Do you want your cow by airlift?
Bob Marley chicken fluff spoon.

Random words.

Well anyway

Why HQ?

Cuz it's a freakin place of our own. For fun. Just go there and hang out I guess.
That's why we need entertainment/furniture, so if anyone can donate stuff...

T Shirts.

I've decided that they'll either be personalized or standardized. Standardized as in the T Shirts are all with the same design/logo. Personalized as in if you want one, you order, then we'll place your logo as well as something on United Stupidity.
So you guys have to decide. Please Vote in the Cbox

USP

well, uh. Since there is PMR, either June or November then.
But seriously.
If you ask your parents: Can I go party like mad dog for a week?
Or
Can I attend a youth camp which inculcates life skills into the attendees for FREE?
duhh...
lol

Questions Answered

[J0HnA55]

New Stuff

2008-03-30T12:35:00.002+08:00

Umm...ok I've got some pretty interesting news here.

The first ever United Stupidity Party (USP) is likely to be held this year.
It's gonna be wild. But, there are a few problems (as usual...duh)

First up, the venue is 95% to be in Singapore. Passports, guys?
Don't worry, it's gonna be during the holidays...either MidYear/3rd Term/End of Year

Well anyway check this out. The story behind it.

My mum's rich friend was thinking of having a boys camp, to teach survival skills and crap. She couldn't find many people, so she decided to ask me. She told me to get up to 10 friends, to stay in her freakin huge house for up to a week, WITH NO ADULTS. The catch: we have to make our own meals, clean up, do our own laundry etc. But... some things she didn't notice.

1) We can bring 1 week's worth of clothes. (yeah, if you really want)
2) Dumbortz and I can handle the food (if you dun mind lots of Maggi Mee)
3) Nothing said about bringing 360s, PS3s, Wii(s), water guns, footballs etc.
4) It's a Youth Camp! Free! Your parents will encourage this enriching experience.
We all need to learn this stuff eventually(just dun mention the no adults part)

So...we are going to hold some Youth Camp. Right? Haha..yeah right.
lOl...

Next up.
It is OFFICIAL.

We are going to get our own United Stupidity Headquarters.
Really.
Cuz my parents are shifting the tuition centre to somewhere else in Tmn Pelangi.
Sad right? Not close to Bugs kopitiam anymore. Not close to Leisure Mall.
But...they only use half of the new premises. They gave the other to me.
And, well...I convert it into our official command centre!!! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
ok. again, problems.

1) It's bare. Yes. Bare.
2) It's boring. Yes. Boring.
3) It's located at Jalan Serampang (not rly a problem, but just mentioning it)

So, we need furniture. At least. Chairs/tables. And entertainment.
I can donate some stuff, pretty basic, like board games/UNO set.
And we may have a table and chair or two.
But what about nice stuff? Like sofas? Fans? Or even TV?
This is where you come in.
If you have any ideas for the headquarters, pls contact me on MSN.
Or, just spam the freakin chatbox (WITH IDEAS. NOT USELESS SHIT)

And, about the United Stupidity T Shirts (a legend already)
(cuz it's been postponed for like half a year)
Well..this needs cash. I can't give free ones to everyone.
We need a logo, maybe? Not the one on top of the blog. (that's mine btw)
Trying to keep everything TOTALLY free. (Very unsuccessful)

[J0HnA55]

United Stupidity Official Football Teams

2008-03-23T11:37:00.002+08:00

We support two official footbsll teams now. They are:

The Black Rabbits Guild.

Formed...ummm...last week by Bugs, Mahaesh, Vignesh, Jeremy and MegaDeath.
It's futsal actually...doesn't matter though.
Mostly the EC crowd...or ex EC. EC = English College
The concentrated spam you see everywhere leads to www.theblackrabbits.blogspot.com

Three Kings United

Umm...I think this is J0N0's football team in New Zealand.
I think that's the name...pretty confusing
He's quite a good player anyway...teamed with him at SSU in P4.

This post was a stub. You can help by contacting Wikipedia...
Whaat?!

...duh

It's Perfectly Fine To Be A Happy Individual

2008-03-22T14:22:00.002+08:00

Repeat after me...

It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual...

Street2Fifa: It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual

Bugs? Dumbortz? Wanna join in?

Bugs: Yeah sure...

Dumbortz: Ok...sorry dude

It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual

Everyone: It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual!

Very nice.

Very.

Nice.

Make someone feel better on a really shitty day

If you're listening to this, I want you to say: I'm Gay!

Bugs: I'm GAY!!!

Say he's gay!

Bugs: I'm GAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!! WHAAAAT?!?!

HAAHAAHAHA!!! DUDE, THaT's THE ShIT!!!!

WHeRe are my La-la's??!?

Everyone: La...la la la...la la la laaa...la la la la la....lalala la...la la la laaa...a la la...la la la laaa...la la la la la....lalala la...la la la laaa...a la la...la la la laaa...la la la la la....lalala la...la la la laaa...a la la...la la la laaa...la la la la la....lalala la...la la la laaa......

WOOOHOOOO!!!

*This post was a complete waste of time*

*I'm Gay - Bowling For Soup - The Great Burrito Extortion Case*

*You know, the guys who made High School Never Ends (the blog featured song)*

*From the same album (see above)*

*lol*

*...*

*duh*

Platinums. Originals. Whateva. We Pwn Ur A55.

2008-03-13T22:22:00.003+08:00

There have been so many questions about our members that I'll explain.
Man...I've put the description of the ranks down already but ppl keep asking.
So here it is...detailed and shit. Yeah.

Bronze - New members. And INACTIVE members too. Unless you've been promoted already.

Silver - Those who are average retards. Nothing exceptional, sry 'bout that.

Gold - Did something really stupid, very active or helped our Stupidity.

Platinum - Elite retards. Contribute highly to everything we do. Main people here.

W/Honors - Reserved for Halodude4eva and Soap Lord. (Or anyone seriously retarded)

W/Dishonor - Reserved for Bugs (tentatively) possibly for Twit too. (Street2Fifa)

Originals - Those who started with us way before retardity in 2000.

Ok, so all the ranks have been explained. (Originals are added with an (O) on list)
Now, here we introduce the retards. Brace yourselves. This post be long. And dumb.
Definitely out of place here, maybe a bit emo. But anyway: I wrote it, and it's the truth. I farkin love this band-oops. Overquote. hehe

Disclaimer: Sorry for any pissing off caused by exaggeration of stupidity.

Halodude4eva

I met him in P5. We took the same school van back to Malaysia every day, same school (Si Ling Primary School). He was one of my best school friends at the time. Damn nice guy, but you don't wanna piss him off. Takes it easy, "Relax ah!"
Retarded? Hell yeah. We had a lot of fun against the other ppl in the van. When we were acting stupid during Hanna's (his sis) birthday in 2007, he said that "no one can beat US". I asked him,"us? What's us?"...."United Stupidity". Famous words. Used to stay at the Wadihana condo with Street2Fifa, now he's living in Singapore. Among his achievements was getting stuck at an MRT station (though it definitely wasn't his fault, it was crowded and we didn't hear him properly), it just sounds retarded. Currently best in Halo, splatters people a lot. Likes the gore. Great guy.

Soap Lord

He was one of the Originals, but didn't really mix around much until later.
When we split up at P2 from Sekolah Swasta Tun Dr Ismail/Sekolah Straits View, he followed me and JJ to Sekolah Sri Utama. *Fried Chicken studied there in my class too
I met him more often and eventually, in 2008, he joined my dad's tuition class. There he became a Platinum, and rose to Asst. Leader (see early, early posts) quickly. Now he's in SSI. An example is when my dad pulled the shutter up halfway instead of all the way up. Bugs walked through crouching, I walked through crouching, he didn't. WHAM. Hit his head on the padlock, the shutter flew up with a bang, and he staggered through. LOL. Also a damn nice guy. More on the clever and serious side, but really acts crazy with us. Why he's Soap Lord? He washes his hands A LOT. I dunno why. Habit I guess. Boredom?

J0HnA55

Me. Yes, me. The guy who has been spamming up this space since it was created (by me). Obviously an original. Known to be blur as shit and forgetful too. I'm friendly to friends, strangers AND enemies (can't help it, dammit). Studying at ACS (Independent) in Singapore. Back then, we used to gather at my house and have massive water battles (or plastic weapons instead). My mum used to make signature mushroom soup with pasta..haha...everyone rushed for it. Well I dunno about the dumb things I've done, too many to count, but I recall stuff like forming Stinkin Butt (a parody of Linkin Park with stupid lyrics), writing the song "We Are Idiots" with Bugs and acting like jackasses in public with Street2Fifa. Somehow I plan all the big events, especially JP. Been attending JP since it was started. Been through it all, with all the retards. All I gotta say is you guys ROCK. Keep on kicking ass, cuz their a55e5 be pwn3d.Oh, and why J0HnA55? J0Hn is the Master Chief from Halo. I am a Halo freak, like a lot of us. A55? It sounded nice. Go figure.

Bugs

Was an original. Stayed on in SSV, then moved to Sri Tebrau and now studies in EC (where he recruited TONS of people). In fact, he is one of the (if not greatest) greatest recruiters in US. Brought in the whole crowd like Vignesh, Mahaesh, MegaDeath and so on. Why Dishonor? Umm...can't really remember. Check earlier posts. Charges include spamming, spamming and uh..spamming. But anyway he's higher than us Platinums. Damn nice guy (do I sense a pattern here?), says random stuff all the time and funny as heck. Cracks me up all the time too. Founded the Yaharmonic Orchestra last year with me and Dumbortz. Likes Maggi Mee and Archie Comics. His mum owns "Judy Kopitiam" in Taman Pelangi, visit it if you get a chance. Great food. Try the HK Mee. Platinum cuz he's random and funny, ask anyone who has known him well. Quite good at DotA too. Likes shiny stuff, especially my burned (not literally) CDs. Why Bugs? It's foggy, but it may have to do with a movie about them we watched at the Singapore Science Centre around P5. He might not remember either, but I think I remember him saying something about him liking bugs.

As for the theories about his "preferences" I am pissed with people that say he is gay. (normal guy albeit a very horny one but if you wanna follow the retarded way we do things) He is Everosexual. (a new term coined by our researchers who have proved through intensive research and patient concentration that he is sexually attracted to males, females, in betweens, plants, animals, fungi and inanimate objects. So there.

Dumbortz

Another original. Yet another damn nice guy (this gets tiring). He's loyal to his friends and helpful too, can be hot-tempered and definitely nuts. Stuck with Bugs all the way until now. His gaming ain't that good, but gamers are made, not born. (so keep trying, dude). Known for his big CNY parties, used to play loads of PS games with him and Bugs. Twisted Metal, anyone? His mum used to bring us after school to his house for lunch and stuff. His GBC was popular too. We played dumbass games after tuition, very sad that the teacher passed away a few years ago (to those of you, it was Mr Chia.)Famous quote: "Why didn't you wake me up earlier? .....Oh wait. I woke up first." That was during JP'07. Some ppl call him dense, but he's not champ there unfortunately, see next person. Seems to be lucky with girls. For his privacy I shall not elaborate. Go ask him (if you dare) Also funny, and tends to take charge of stuff when they go mad (very often, duh). Dumbortz is an unofficial nickname, it came in our Tenacious D/Warcraft promo last year. Just another great guy among us.

J

Original, and FREAKIN RICH. We're damn happy he is, or JP wouldn't exist, and we wouldn't have the fun or memories that remain with us now, and probably will for a long time. Used to fight over his noodles in P1 every recess, ended up sharing by picking strand by strand with our fingers. Mischievous too ^__^. Carefree sorta guy, goes with the flow and is reputed to be the densest guy here. Meaning stuff takes longer to register. That IS retarded, he's blur like me. Now studying somewhere in Singapore. None of you would realize this guy's importance. Without him, US probably would never have been founded, cause we met every year at his house, not mine, Dumbortz's or anyone else for that matter. Every year, people looked forward to my party, Dumbortz' , Jono's, but his always shone. Maybe because when the whole lot of us stayed over, there was this sense of brotherhood that stuck with us. I dunno why. All our large Halo battles were fought at his house. Movies? We watched 'em there. Famous for asking stupid questions...like in JP 07, he was wondering how Halodude's mum's friend got into the house without ringing the doorbell. (LOL...he was there before we arrived) His Halo is IRRITATINGLY GOOD. We call him J cuz that was his Halo username, and we scream it most of the time cause he jumps around and kses us, then kills us as well. Wonder how he finds us so well. He's even left the imprint of his head on a car park automatic barrier at Leisure Mall.

JJ

Original, moved to SSU with us in P3. Now in Overseas Family School in Singapore. DNG (figure out this acronym). Another mischievous guy, we played tons of pranks on people (mostly girls and teachers) in P1 to P4. He may not seem to be so, but he is very kind, and will stick with those in need. I know. He is a LEGEND at Halo. You will not survive. He trained his LITTLE BROTHER to beat the shit out of our best. (Halodude, J and me). He is insane with a shotgun and overshield. Also damn rich, I've seen his house at Taman Molek...he has a PROJECTOR in his entertainment room, with a wall mounted TV and 360 of course. He's a great football fan, and plays well too. Unfortunately, he has not shown much stupidity. Potential's there, though.

Jono

Original, moved to New Zealand last year (or was it 2006?). Great guy, natural leader, courageous and all. You'd definitely want him as your friend. Supports you whenever you need it. Football maniac (you can tell that he supports Real Madrid, being a Madridista) It's hard to say if he or JJ is better, but he's going for professional playing I've heard...something about Three Kings United. Gd luck!
Haha, he turned us all into Madrid fans during the Korean World Cup. Used to live in the Sri Mulia Condo, we used to have pool parties with Super Soakers there. Was my best friend back in SSU, used to come to my house and do retarded stuff. Haha...Ship. Was really fun while it lasted. Led our so called team/club/gang back in SSV for a while, but resigned cuz he thought it wasn't really fair (see? great guy). Somehow hates his older brother. Wuz like that since P2 or so. Go check out his blog under our list.

Street2Fifa

The Legendary TWIT. Korean guy who lives in the same condo that Halodude used to, and that's how we both met him. Ah Beng gangsta type of guy, but underneath that is just another DNG. He's not the Swear-O-Matic for nothin, and he swears just about 23 hours a day. Studies in Si Ling Secondary in Singapore, and lives at the Wadihana Condo. Made his way up in a combination of jackassery. spam and irritatance. For one, he's my partner in creating Jackass-like videos to post on the blog. He says idiotic things all the time. And, he's wonderful to play with at Halo 3, CoD 4, GoW or about any shooter available. (free morale boost) Especially Jackassery. He loves it. Whether it's trolley racing at the Leisure Mall carpark, Party Boy at his condo or Scissors Paper Nuts in Giant, he lives Jackass again and again. "How I know?"

Lord MegaDeath

The Exiled (Exiled). Says it all. He joined under Bugs in 2006 and has spammed, spammed and spammed away since then. DNG. Kinda helps ppl a lot. Yeah, he and Bugs make up the DotA crazy population in our group. Not bad at it either. So anyway he meets Bugs often to play DotA (and spam). Likes Gears of War, Bioshock and Call of Duty 4 more than Halo 3 (which is fine, but he had to post it). Known as the Exiled cuz he got exiled 4 times already...currently exiled. Hehe. Also waits for JP to play Duel Masters and Halo 2/3 campaigns again and again. Especially Delta Halo *wince*
Also helped Bugs bring in a lot of our newer recruits.

There are just too many ppl to list here, so I covered the platinums and originals. If I missed anyone, sorry. Very busy with homework and stuff. I can cover the rest, but dun know them too well. Sorry bout that.

Well...Originals. It's been a long time. Since P1 in 2000, we've come a long way. We've lost contact every now and then, but now Babykwa's back and Yan Feng (Andy) is gonna join, all of us are here. A lot of memories. So many that it would be unexcusable spam to list them all here. But after all, I AM SPAM!! Haha. Kiddin'....NOT!!!! For a while anyway. (This part might be borin for those uninvolvd)

SSV. or SSTDI. Whatever you call it. The old building, with the winding pathway up, where inside, our classroom was just on the right of the entrance (then to the left)
The stairs leading up, where we took that group photo when JJ left for SSU. The lunch area..where someone accidentally flung chili in my eye...can't remember which idiot..
The recess, on the hard stone pavement(where Yan Feng cut his knee and Dumbortz saw a snake) leading to the International block. Picking at J's noodles and luncheon meat, Babykwa's cake, etc. Catching grasshoppers in the field. Starting a weird war against the P2s, fighting over the football. Playing stupid games of Digimon. (J0n0 as Patamon...lol) and lame games on the class PC. Some people chasing after girls..*cough* Viv *hack* ian and Cin *cough* dy *wheeze*. Fighting over one of them too. *cough* Said girls stealing JJ's chewing gum and Pokemon cards (more popular stuff) and giving them to Mdm Siew (who used to call us Botak sumthin, said we would all become gangsters while taping our mouths, and Soap Lord's legs to the chair...ouch). Taekwondo with Mr.Raja? Chandran? Forgot his name lol. The Haunted House during the fair, entering with "light sabers" (balloons LOL).

Going to Dumbortz house after school, watching Pokemon vids and playing Jazz Jackrabbit 2. GameBoy Colors and PS1...Armored Core and all taht. Soccer barefoot in his front yard. Playing Starcraft and Pokemon stuff with Bugs. Sneaking Maggi Mee in the centre kitchen. Going to Singapore Science Centre to play FutureCop (and staying over at my house cuz it was so late when we returned). Earthworm Jim at the early JPs...fake disco with Macarena...watching Shaolin Soccer and Mr Bean. Comin to my house and whacking each other with plastic swords and water guns (latter still familiar eh?)

And the list could go on. And on. But time isn't that long...(btw it's freakin late)

I'm back in town, and everything has changed
I feel let down, the faces stay the same
I see shadows of who we used to be
When I drive so slow through this memory

I heard myself say things I take back
If I could re-tell, and make these stories last
I see shadows of who we'll always be
When I walk these roads that made our memories

When we were only kids
And we were best of friends
And we hoped for the best
And let go of the rest
Everything has changed
The faces stay the same

When we were only kids
And our time couldn't end
And how tall did we stand
With the world in our hands
The shadows and regrets
Let go of the rest

Let go of the rest..

[Shadows And Regrets - Yellowcard]

YouTube: Gateway To Stupidity

2008-03-10T16:18:00.002+08:00

Well yeah.
Here are some YouTube videos. Watch them and DIE (of laughter)

Blame Halo 3

This is a parody of Akon's Sorry Blame It On Me.
It's about this guy who's been causing problems for his wife due to Halo 3.
So he sings this song and about her, his son, car, house etc..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOkF0McZKIw

Special Fred

This is about a Spartan and his friend Special Fred (the Elite)
It's about all the dumb things he does. Cause he's "special". (Like we are)
In the end, he becomes special too. See why.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnrt0nKU6jM

300 Music Video

This is ub3r cool. They used 300 Footage with Breaking Benjamin's Blow Me Away.
The song was originally produced in the Halo 2 Soundtrack.
The lyrics, timing, everything ROCKS. Excellent. Kicks ass.
You gotta watch it. (Knowing the lyrics beforehand may be better)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTjnhS96Nyo

300 Techno Remixes

These are...well, it's stated.
See for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOY32WqdiDw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZBA0SKmQy8&feature=related

LOL. WTF. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

2008-03-03T19:03:00.002+08:00

I have just discovered sumthin interestin. Really.
Now as you know, we entered the 4th Age of Conflict when the Rebellion was held.
We dethroned Halodude and put MegaDeath, Bugs and me as the triad of Prophets;
Retardity, Munchy and Spam.
However, MegaDeath declared war on us, and Bugs left.
I took the title of Spam from Bugs cuz it sounded nice

Wait...that rings a bell doesn't it?

If Halodude isn't leader...and I'm the only prophet left....

.....

I AM SPAM!!! VOICE OF THE RETARDS!!!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(sounds a bit like Halo 3 doesn't it?)

Dumbortz: Then...you must be silenced. SHAddUP lah...
...
...wait. Where's my energy sword?

HAHAHA I Stole It!!!! *lunge*

*FIRST BLOOD*

WAHAhAHHAHAHAHA!!! I AM SUPREME LEADER OF THE COVENAN- I mean Retards.

(Now, Bronze are Grunts, Silver are Jackals, Gold are Elites and Platinum are Brutes)
(For those of you who aren't totally sane, this IS a promo)
(I didn't make it this way...just noticed it ^__^' )

We are...all of us...retards.
Cowering on the floor, thinking what, I wonder.
That you can escape the coming fart?
No, your lungs will BURN from the gas from Halodude's arse....

*Halo 3 Trailer Music Plays*

Not even your H4Xx0rc1st, crawling blackened from his hole...
...will mar the light of our passage on the Great Journey.

Your destruction is the will of the Gods...
And I?
...

I AM THEIR INSTRUMENT!!!!!

United Stupidity Presents

The Stunning Conclusion to "30 - Prepare For Stupidity"

A Mixture of Halo 3, I Am Legend, Tenacious D, Jackass, Borat, 300 and 28 Days Later

"I Am Spam"

Coming Soon...freakin limited broadband

30 - Prepare For Stupidity! UPDaTED Breaking News

2008-02-24T15:50:00.001+08:00

We Retards are descended from.... never mind.
Taught never to use our brains, never to surrender.
Taught that death by stupidity in service of retardkind is the greatest glory one can achieve in his life.

At the age of seven, as is customary, the boy is sent to primary school and plunged into a world of idiocy, manufactured by 9 years of retard society to create the dumbest morons the world has ever known.

The gang begins to circle the boys. Fists of steel, eyes as the dark night. Shouting...savouring the thought of the match to come.
It is not fear that grips them; only a retarded sense of things.
Warm air in their lungs, wind-swept palm trees against the coming morning.
Their hands are steady, their forms perfect.
They grab the ball, kick their balls, and run.

And so the boys, given up for dead, return to their people, their champions!
Our champions, the Original Platinums!
Now as then, a beast approaches, patient and confident, savouring the meal to come.
This beast is made of asswipes and faggots, nerds and non-rockers.
An army of H4xxorcists, vast beyond imagining.
Ready to devour our tiny clan.
Ready to snub out the world's one hope for retardity and spam.
A beast approaches, and it was J0HnA55 himself who provoked it.

RETAAAARDS! PREPARE!!! FOR!!! GLORY!!!!

A reaction to a promo (a parody anyway)by [J0HnA55]

UNITED STUPIDITY PRESENTS
"30"
Before you speak, h4xxor, know that in retardity, anyone, even a messenger, is held accountable for the words of his voice. Now, what message do you bring.
Messenger: Milk and munchies.
You came all the way from H4xx0rland for milk and munchies?
Soap Lord: Please be coy or stupid, h4xxor. You can be both in Retardity.
Messenger: All our king requires is a simple offering of milk and munchies.
You threaten our people, you insult us?
Messenger: What did I do?
Nothing. This is how the script goes. Got a complaint? Call J0HnA55 now.
Messenger: THIS IS MADNESS!!!

MADNESS?!?! THIIIS!!! IISSSS!!! REETAAAAAAARDDITY!!!!!!!

Messenger: AAAAARRRRRRGH!!! I'VE BEEN PWNED!!!!

Yeah. Ur A55 Be Pwn3d.

Messenger: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIIIIIIISSSSSS- (fell into bottomless toilet bowl)

....

RETAAAAAARDS!!! TONIGHT!!! WE DINE!!! AT HOME!!!!!!

[J0HnA55]: But we dine at home anyway.

Oh shaddup.

No retreat. No surrender. No brains. That is Retard Law.
And by Retard law, we will stand, and fight!
A new age has begun, the age of Conflict!
And we know all 30 Retards will give their last breath to defend it!

The world will know that retards stood against a H4xX0rcist.
That few stood against many.
And before this battle is over, that even a H4xX0rcist can go insane.

THIS IS WHERE WE HOLD THEM!!!
THIS IS WHERE WE FIGHT!!!
THIS IS WHERE THEY GO MAD!!!
REMEMBER THIS DAY, MEN, FOR IT WILL BE YOURS FOR ALL TIME!!!!

Dumbortz: WE ARE WITH YOU HALODUDE! FOR RETARDITY, FOR SPAM - TO THE DEATH!!!
Soap Lord: EARN YOUR TITLES, BOYS!!!!
Retards: AAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLL!!!!!!!
h4xxor captain: RETARDS!!! LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS!!!

H4XXors! COME AND GET THEM!!!!!

GIVE THEM NOTHING, BUT TAKE FROM THEM, THEIR SANITY!!!!!!

*The battle rages*

The h4xx0rcists are OWNED up, down, left, right, inside out.
Halodude barrel rolls and crushes hundreds.
J0HnA55 runs through their ranks with two energy swords.
J jumps around, dropping bombs everywhere
Dumbortz makes h4xxors laugh at his stupidity, dying from suffocation.
Soap Lord throws soap everywhere, blinding and tripping h4xxors.
Street2Fifa swears and swears. H4xxors are deafened.
J0N0 kicks balls at their balls. Ownage.
JJ calls in a Longsword airstrike.
Aulos hacks for our side. Their computers crash in the dozens.
MoneySeekr steals their money. Funds increase dramatically.
BabyKwa sits there, watching the carnage. H4xxors stop to stare, and are cut down.
Argo, Zul and Xie Hang drive around in a Warthog and splatter h4xxors.
Mahaesh and Skyrons sneak around, sneaking up on h4xxors.
Martin rushes people, grinning wildly and hacking them with a wooden sword.

(Wuz taken in China. One of the new guys. See why he's silver for one)
Synyster, Impressive and Death transform into DotA heroes to end their hacking spree.
Barrrry joins Alwyn.
The new guys fire from a safe distance.
Bugs- Wait, where is Bugs?!?!?

*A figure is seen creeping towards the H4xx0r Camp*

Bugs: My lord, I heard you could teach me how to spam.
H4xxor: Don't you know that already? I sense an ulterior motive.
Bugs: You know.Hehehe.
H4xxor: Well, I have heard of your reputation, Hunchdick Bugs.
I will provide all you need. The freshest plants will be sent daily from all corners of the empire. And unlike cruel Halodude, who exiled you, I require only that you kneel...

*At the battlefield*

Dumbortz: My lord!
Yes, what is it?
Dumbortz: The h4xxors have backdoored us! They're razing our camp!!
WHATT?!!?! BUT HOW!?!?
SoaP Lord: I found this message.

---------------------------------
Who's your daddy, Halodude? There
is no spoon at our camp, so we're
borrowing some as I can see dead
people. I'll warp ten of your
forks for souveniers. So, rise and
shine, retards, cause lights out
is gonna come real soon as we
start "Operation Cwal". Greed is
good, so show me the money or you
will fall in three days. LOLOLOLOL
----------------------------------

WTF!?!? A coded message! They're cheating!
J0HnA55: Some asswipe told them how. But who?!?!

*The shadow of Bugs is seen on a nearby hill*

We have been betrayed.
TO ARMS!!!
WE WILL STAND TILL THE END!!!
RETARDS, PREPARE FOR STUPIDITY!!!!!!!!!

*As the armies meet each other on TWO fronts, the battle shows no sign of stopping*
*No one can tell what will happen next... And the H4xx0rcist is still unknown*

[Halodude4eva]

Part 2

he story so far...

The h4xx0r empire declares war on retardkind, and send their army to invade.
Halodude leads the defenders, 30 retards, and pushes them back.
They beat the shit out of the H4Xx0rs like OMGWTFBBQH4XX0R times.
However, Bugs the Hunchdick betrayed them and went to the H4xx0rcist for plants.
The h4xx0rcist is none other than Lord Megadeath, who wants revenge for exile.
Now, he has the Gears of War and the Pick of Destiny.
Will the retards or h4xxors win?

(Btw this is a parody of 300 for y'all who keep askin "WtF is this?!?!")
(Also this is in 3rd person, not from Halodude's point of view)

MegaDeath and Bugs stand on the top of the hill, surveying the carnage.
He calls a truce, and Halodude and J0HnA55 go to meet him.

MegaDeath: Join me. I will make you warlord of all Earth! Your armies will march across the land, carrying my banner. All you need to do is kneel.

Halodude: Kneel? Uh, kneeling is waaaaay too painful for me. You see, uh, there's just too much pressure on my legs. LOLOLOLOLOL

MegaDeath: There will be no stupidity in your sacrifice. Your asylums and mental hospitals will be RAZED! The memory of stupidity will be erased from history, and speaking the name of Halodude will be punishable by DEATH! Our water guns will rain water like rain!!!

Halodude: Then...we shall bring our umbrellas.

RETAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!UNDER YOUR UMBRELLAS!! ELLA!! ELLA!! EH!! EH!!

MegaDeath: Dammit. My clothes are gettin wet. I'm outta here. This place is tapped.

The rain ends and the next wave comes.

Our eyes do witness to the grotesque spectacle brought forth from the furthest corner of the H4xx0r empire. A Sasquatch approaches, roaring its defiance at all who stand in its way. "Hey, wassup!? Let's take a dip in the stawbewwy wiver!!" It approaches, snarling, rubber tube stuck to its ass, strawberry juice dripping from it
J0HnA55 sticks a plasma grenade to his tushy.

J0HnA55: Shake your tushy! It'll fall off!

The sasquatch shakes its tushy and it blows up. Strawberry flavored gore sprays everywhere. Some mushrooms sprout instantly from the spot where it died. Dumbortz eyes them carefully. "Munchies!!" He eats one. Hmmm...Juicy.

As the sasquatch falls, a new threat appears. The Gears of War, each wielding a rifle with a chainsaw approach the retard lines. Their leader, Fenix, steps forward to bargain with the retards.

Fenix: Drop your weapons, nice and slow, or I will saw you from hole to hole...

SoaP L0Rd: No waaay. We're not gonna do that.

Fenix: I'm going to farkin KILL you! I will cut out your eyes AND your balls!!!!! Then I will stick your balls in your eyeholes, and eyes in your ballsacks!!!!!!!!!!!

Dumbortz: Dude, I think we could totally outgun him.

S0Ap L0Rd: Yeah, totally.

The retards pick up the newly arrived SPNKR Rocket Launchers, and blow the shit outta the Gears of War. THEY ARE NO MATCH FOR HALO!!! WAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!LOLOLOLOL!!!

When muscle failed, they turned to their H4xx0ring. They sit behind their 360s and aim to beat us at Halo 3. Time and again, they get thrashed, J dancing around with his SMGs, Dumbortz running loose with a shotgun and Halodude splattering all. In the end, they hack the server, causing spawnkills for the retards.

J leaps in the air with a penknife. The h4xX0rs throw their controllers at him, missing as they explode in midair. (told those guys not to charge unrechargeables) He lands, slicing the wires open and causing a power shortage in the camp. LOLOLOL.

The skies darken. It is night. The retards rejoice, elated by their victory. They run around, screaming and whacking each other. A huge banquet is set: Bob Marley Extra Crispies, Chicken, Steaks, and Chicken Fried Steaks. Suddenly, silence falls as a mass of people approach from the battlefield...

They have served the dark will of H4xx0rcists for 243 days, 17 hours, 53 minutes and 31 seconds. Thick glasses on their heads, toungues sticking out. Lifeless. The personal bodyguard to MegaDeath himself. The deadliest hacking force in all of Asia: the H4xx0rcists.

H4xx0rcists. We'll put their name to the test.

[unspeakable violence ensues]

Halodude: %&$##!!

Dumbortz: <@&^%??

Street2Fifa: @#&%*#@*%&#!!!! #&*@%^*#@&^!!!! #^&@%#^&^#%*@!!!! ^&#^&%^@*#^!!!! &*#^*^%@^!!!! #&@^&*^!!! *@^%#(*@^%*#^@%&&!!! &#*&^$#*@^&*^!!!! #^@%&^&*#@^$!!!!!!!!

h4XXORcists: #@^&*^@&#*$^@!!!!!!!!!!!

H4Xx0rc1sts. They have failed our king's test, and a man who fancies himself a H4xxoRcist feels a very retarded chill creep into his brain...

Meanwhile....

Bugs is sneaking around as usual, looking for plants.
Suddenly, he comes across the bottomless toilet bowl.
He decides to look inside to search for the missing messenger.
He bends over...and something slips from his pocket into the toilet bowl.
THE PICK OF DESTINY!!!!
OH SHIIIITE!!!!!!!

*HeaVy GuiTaR MuSIc*

A Huge |)3[\/]()|\| rises from the toilet bowl...

|)3[\/]()|\|: I AM COMPLEEETE!!!!!!!!!!

Bugs: FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRK

|)3[\/]()|\|: Y35, '/0u 4R3 |=4R|<3D!
5h17 0u7tA /_ucK!!
N0w 1m C0Mpl3t3
4nD My -

Bugs: AAAAAAAARRRRRGHHEEEEEAAUUUUUULLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bugs has heard this somewhere before. He runs before the EviL H4Xx0R |)3[\/]()|\|...
The EviL H4Xx0R |)3[\/]()|\| giggles. It raids the H4Xx0r camp for munchies.
Hmmm...
Suddenly, the H4Xx0R demon slips and falls. It's...mask(?) falls out.
It's DUMBORTZ!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
Dumbortz: MMM...Munchies!!! *ChOMp cHOmP MUnCh CHeW SnArf BlaT FaRt cHEw mUNCh etc*

part 3: Teh Finale!
Defense Of The Retards!
Coming soon to a United Stupidity Blog near you.

On the 24th of February, the Retard Army invaded a nearby domain.
It was promptly surrendered by its owner, Shark.
The Stairway to Hell, as it is known, has been renamed "The Hot Stairs"
Resources are pouring in to the Retard Army, and they are ready for their stand.
The H4Xx0rs better act fast...

http://thesharkbites.blogspot.com/ (the full story)

By The Way, the final part will be in this same post so keep checking.

Happy Bday JJ!!!

2008-02-23T15:52:00.002+08:00

It's JJ's BdaY!!! He's having a party at his pad at Taman Molek.
Not really a pad though, more like a palace. Too bad we don't have JJP's.
And anyway, me and Bugs are going. Dunno bout y'all.
Sry for the late post, but I just found out today.
And if any of you have bday's, spam in the cbox so I can make an official post.

Regarding our new controversial member Nesan...
Why does Bugs, MegaDeath, etc (seems to be the EC crowd on Bugs side)..
...hate Nesan so much?
I mean, I just found him in my MSN list (wuz surprised)
He added me or I added him can't remember.
Anyway I found out on Chocolate Burger that he was from EC.
He said he migrated to California, thought I read about a going away party fr Mahaesh (Australia) and him. So why the hell do you hate him so much? Lol just curious...

As for the 30 - PoS post, this post will be moved underneath it when it is done.

[J0HnA55]

Oops

2008-02-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

Well sry lol.
My charger is busted, and the photos AND greeting are on my laptop.
Oh well...So you'll just have to wait to find out 'bout Scouting Arbiter!
HAHAHAHAHA!!
lol...

Umm well....
I JUST ADDED 6 New MemBerS!!! (Officially)

1st up, BabyKwa!! (Eric to you originals)
Don't ask about the nickname and title. Just look at the rank. (Demotion?- Promo!?)
He's a nice guy, and one helluva retard.

Then, we have (from my school- I mean class lol)
Barrrry!
Synyster6661!
Martin!
Impressive!
And...|)347[-]!
(Note: Sorry to the last guy on the list. Can't put ur name the way u wanted it)

If you're wondering how I converted so many, well...
1) They're all around my table (Ub3r Clue)
2) I spam them with advertisments EVERYDAy!!! WAHAHA- (cough)

LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

I edited a lot of the ranks.
MoneySeekr, ur back to Gold! Congrats, asswipe. (You still own Dumbo RM10)
I changed LordMegaDeath's Title. HAHAHA look at it yourself.
Elson is now Gold. (He's been around long too, come to think of it)
Changed the listing system. Bronze (Maybe Silver soon) is separate.
This is due to the large number of recruits.
My fingers bloody ache from pushing the names all the way down.

And since the greeting is not up...

A BIG MIDDLE FINGER TO ALL OF YOU!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[J0HnA55]

Finally..got the stuff

2008-01-24T21:43:00.000+08:00

Got a new default song for this...
High School Never Ends - Bowling For Soup
Not many songs about Retards, and this fits anyway.
Damn nice song.

Well anyway here are the pics...

Sry. Brb.
HAHAHA lol.

This article is a stub. You may help by contacting...

2008-01-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

Forenote: [JA]
Never Mind.
The post has been postponed.
HAHAHAHA. Lame joke.

Here are some jokes.

What did the dick say to the condom?

"Cover me, I'm going in"

A homeless man lived in a park.
He had no clothes.

One day, a little girl came up and pointed at his dick.
"What's that?" she asked.

"That's my bird" he replied.

"Can I play with it?" she asked.

"Sure", he said and drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up...
He was in a hospital.
He asked a nurse why he was there.
She told him to ask the little girl in the corner.
When he asked...

She said:

"I was playing with your bird. Suddenly, it spat at me."
"So, I cut it in half, stomped on its eggs, and burnt its nest"

HAHAHAHA
THis is not spam.
Please exile me.

[Bugs]

UPRISING!!!!!!

2008-01-09T23:26:00.001+08:00

The gears of Time have been set in motion...
Our leader, Halodude4eva, has been tried and convicted of Heresy towards Retardity,
On the crime of willingly missing JP'07
Therefore, he has been cast down to Platinum.
A new triumvirate of leaders has been formed.

Lord MegaDeath, the Prophet of Bullshit.
Edward VonPeePee (Bugs) the Prophet of Spam.
Johnass, the Prophet of Stupidity.

We are residing in the Third Age of Conversion.
Our goal now is to recruit more citizens for our glorious cause.
Follow in the footsteps of our forefathers (the 3 stooges? lol)
To achieve our goal of Ultimate Stupidity (World Domination for Bugs)

No one shall mar the light of our passage...
Rise up, our brothers, and prepare for the Great Journey...
For salv- I mean stupidity awaits...

Well anyway, lol.
A new Retard Law is being passed.
Can't tell you much about it, except that I prevented MegaDeath from making a law.
:All those who are exiled will have their possessions (360, Wii, PS2 etc)
CONFISCATED.
Well, he can't confiscate his own, so...

I'll be going off to China soon, so this will be the last post until the 18th of Jan.
I'll take lots of pics/vids (preferably retarded)
Keep spamming, ok?

[J0HnA55]

Happy B'day J0N0!!!

2008-01-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

Yeah, the 8th of Jan is J0N0's bday. Been so long since ur old party at Sri Mulia.
Hope ya have a damn good one in NZ. (Too bad no tardz there)
P.S Can you add a chatbox in ur blog?
alcony.
I stayed at Halodude4eva's house over the weekend with two others.
We made a LOT of shit. A lot.

With the addition of the new members, we have 23 members lol. Wheee.

There was a barbecue, and we were going to swim in the pool when Halodude stopped us.
We were like damn puzzled.
Then...he said.
"Can't you read the sign? No animals allowed."
We tried to tau pok him, and obviously failed.

On a side note, once Twit and me were in the car, and my discman was at vol 15.
He said he could hear it from the back seat.
Later, I passed it to him. He listened at maximum volume (30).

Twit: Eh..my ear pain sia.

Lolz

Some praise for Halodude4eva:

He so stupid, he failed his blood test.
He so stupid, when his mother asked him to buy colour TV, he asked, "Which colour?"
He so stupid, he sold his car to buy petrol, then bought a bicycle.
He so stupid, he brought an ironing board for his golf iron.
He so stupid, when the shop said they had no more bread, he asked for toast.

Credits for the last one goes to Martin, one of the new members.

Jackass 2.5 is out, and its dumb. Like digging a pit in the ground.
Then pissing in a water gun.
Then placing a box over the hole, getting a midget to climb inside with the water gun
You know what happens next.

I already told you all the shit Halodude4eva got...Dammit...
2 PSPs and a Wii in less than half a month.
So it was fun.
Btw, one guy brought a DS, and there was this lameass game called Cooking Mama.
The objective is to cook. Duh.
Somehow, Halodude4eva got HOOKED on it. We were surprised, and tried.
Dammit, we got hooked too.
More cuz using the stylus is fun.
But for some of the recipes, you get to arrange your own food.
That's where the fun was. Really.
Alwyn made a steak, the end result was a load of flags on a plate.
My "fish and chips" was a mushroom. Burnt one.

Of course, lots of Halo 3.
One part where someone jumped, and was crushed between a banshee and a rock. Lol.
But check this out. Halodude4eva was flying. He died eventually. But....

Happy Un-New Year. Umm..did I get that right?

2007-12-31T21:01:00.000+08:00

Ya notice, we could celebrate Happy Un-New Year 364 times a year.
Lol...
Duh.

Well anyway, my laptop's back in action. (Posting done on Twit's com)
Me and Bugs created a line for twit.

Tenacious D
Kage: They call me KG Solo Man 5000.
Retards
Kevin Tan: They call me KT Swearing Twit 5000.
Fits, doesn't it?

I read somewhere that they were going to make Halo for the DS, but it was cancelled.
Dammit. Even tho I dun have a DS.
http://ds.ign.com/objects/874/874110.html
look at that.

Man, the year passed so damn fast.
It seems like yesterday when I was running around in Jackie's garden screaming in the heavy rain. *sigh*
Btw, official retard holiday is on Hanna's birthday (our leader's sister)
Cuz that was when me and Halodude4eva (aka pr0zkilla) made United Stupidity.
Which reminds me, we should have more members. Better call him soon.

Bugs: There are only 25 letters of the alphabet on Christmas day.

JA: Why?

Bugs: Noel. (No L)

Also, I'm revamping the retard story to a Halo Covenant style.
Make things a bit more interesting.
Well anyway Happy New Year y'all!!!
Enjoy the last...25 hours and 15 minutes of your holiday...
Umm...shit. *gloom*

Only a week left...crap

2007-12-26T20:46:00.000+08:00

The holidays sure passed too fast.
They should give us a 6 month break lol.
Well I went swimming today at Street2Fifa's house.
We got some really badass ideas, like electric dynamite. What's the name of your ban-
Oops...extended quote.
Look at this.

that's the stairs up to the water slide.
They're flooding.
....
thEY'Re FloOdINg!!!
We didn't do anything...
Seriously.
...
Ok, ok.
We blocked the waterflow.

Now, there were supposed to be some comic strips here.
But....nvm.
Oh and Street2fifa is exiled for a retard MONTH.
That beats all the records.
Was kinda my fault, I didn't log out.
But he claimed to have demoted everyone to Bronze and himself to Platinum.
Whether its true, he changed some ranks (his, his sister and mine)
And impersonated ppl in the cbox, spammed WORSE THAN BUGS
When he is released, he will be platinum with dishonor.
But...a retard month is what? 69 days? 234 days? 1/2 a decade?
hehehe

[J0HnA55]

Merry Christmas!!!

2007-12-25T13:05:00.000+08:00

Yeah, Merry Christmas y'all
w00t...street2fifa stayed over at my house... Halo 3 Christmas ^__^

well anyway, yesterday, we were at Holiday Plaza
Bought ice cream from McDonalds.
When we sat down, Street2Fifa noticed his cone was leaking.
So he said...
(pointing at waitress)

S2F:That farker do my cone a hole sia!

wow...he gets smarter by the day...

Now, for some really exciting news...

We are planning USP 08! (UnitedStupidity Party)
It will be held in Singapore, during June/December holidays.
My mum's friend's house. Which incidentally, is bigger than J's.
The catch?

Up to 10 ppl, up to 1 week!! But...
We have to do everything by ourselves.
There will be NO ONE there (maybe a maid but that's all)
...sounds fun?
Note: the house is bigger than J too!

However, there's a slight problem...
My mum has insisted that since she is her friend, she will control the guest list.
And it is unfortunately short. Cut down to about 5 only.
Well, we have a year to argue and reason anyway, so....
Try not to get the full 10...too crowded.
Anyone can attend. Seriously. (I think)

Well anyway Merry Christmas everyone.
Duh.

Thx for coming y'all

2007-12-22T17:08:00.000+08:00

If you saw the link at the Science Centre, then well just look around lol... Wanna join? Post in the chatbox. Anyway... Me and Street2Fifa are at the Singapore spammed all over the place...posting pics later... lots of nice stuff...Bugs you won't know the new stuff...duh... You can sms stuff and display, we spammed there... You can write using digital pen, we spammed there... I'm typing this at the cybercafe there (free ^__^) we set all to this page... Wahahahahaha!!! Street2Fifa: This place sux man! I need to go and play DotA! aw shaddup man...no one asked you... Anyway if we're gonna produce a video, we can use this place as the R&R Musuem.. (without the guitars...duh) We also did the Tribute booth thing, surprised some ppl... (the mad part at the end) Nobody dragged us away tho...no old lady around either So we're goin off to do more bullshit..cya all [J0HnA55]

What did you expect here, a good post name?

2007-12-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

Well, more dumb shit here.

Me, Bugs and Dumbortz started swimming at Tiara Club, its 10 lessons for RM220.
No fixed time, no fixed day.
If anyone wants to join in the swimming (and crap talkin...)

Ok anyway, while we were on the way, Dumbortz was asking me about LAN cables.
He mentioned the one we used to play DotA at JP07.
(I think it was MegaDeath's..was a 360 LAN cable I think..compatible anyway)
Anyway, he went on for a minute.
I nodded, asked questions, and talked crap.
Then...

Dumbortz: So can you answer my question?

JA:......

Dumbortz: Oi!

JA: Huh? What?

Dumbortz: Can you answer my question?

JA:....Nope

Bugs: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *cough* *cough*

Then at the centre, Dumbortz asked me something.
I said thanks. Duuuh.
Could promote myself, but With Honors is reserved for Halodude and Soap Lord.

Oh and we played Oddball...with goggles. Don't ask.
Lasted 10 seconds...Bugs got a cramp, and spent his time watching girls. Fag.

[J0HnA55]

Stuffz

2007-12-18T21:08:00.000+08:00

Hey y'all
We have two new members:

Mahaesh - Chocolate Burger - Bronze

And the first girl ever in United Stupidity...
Street2fifa's sister:

Emily - Silver
Since she's the first girl, we added her to Silver straight away
Cuz she's proven her stupidity,
And can beat the shit outta Street2fifa ^__^
Oh and Street2Fifa may be renamed - Stwit2fifa

*Note by Bugs*
Now we have both genders, we can move on to our goal of world domination!!!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

umm....yeah.
Right.

Anyway...
The other pics of JP07 are missing
So...hehe

The Pics

2007-12-17T11:27:00.000+08:00

Enjoy

[/\]()()7...

2007-12-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

The next guy didn't ask me not to read this....
That is to say, he asked me not to read this...
Or was it to not to read?
Never mind...

Damn. JP is over.
Let us swear when we realize we have about 1 year to wait to JP 08

Ahh...that's better.

well...things sure didn't go as planned lol...

before the long-ass story (not a long time ago, and in Kulai, not Kickapoo)
we've promoted Elson to Silver! Why?
I dunno either...

And dumbortz's bro is joining.

Ok... back

I nearly couldn't attend JP07, same with dumbortz.
Halodude missed it...feel sorry for him.

Anyway, without him, we couldn't produce the video/movie.
Somehow, we didn't go to a LAN centre either.
But it rocked anyway.

The journey was weird...we took my dad's car instead of Uncle Tai's.
So no blastin music.
But Bugs' phone, dumbortz's phone and my discman were all at top volume.
So it was really, really weird.
Anyway we rushed in, and watched Tenacious D.
Uncle Tai came back suddenly...in the middle of Classico.
Shit. I hauled ass with MegaDeath and Elson upstairs.
The rest pretended nothing was wrong.
Man...close.

So we played Halo 3 and Warcraft all the way....
I was kinda owninG....ok...maybe not.
Of course, when we played all swords, I owned.
But otherwise, I'm weak at mid-range.
The rest were ok..only challenge at swords was Bugs.
But when it came to big maps...ouch.
It was like...

JA: JACKEH!!!! KILL THE FAG!!!
J: Hahahahahaahahaha
*JA fights with S0aP L0rD and Elson. JA wins*
SL: Kill J0HnA55 dammit!!!
*J kills J0HnA55, then kills S0aP and Elson while they were fighting*
*J0Hn respawns and kills S0aP and Elson*
SL: Aiyah..not fun lah. Kill the bloody J0HnA55
*All three gang J0HnA55*
*J kills the other two*
JA: JACKEH!!!! KILL THE FAG!!!
J: Hahahahahaahahaha
*J killsteals JA, then kills him*

etc, etc, etc.
well I'm gonna make Halo 3 ranks already.

the food was nice as always.
J has a FRIGGIN HUGE collection of munchies...from chocolates to chips.
All stashed in two cupboards UNDER the sofa.
Like wtf. But we helped him with them.

We succeeded with supper! We made our own lolz...it was pwnage.
Our own recipe for noodles and a drink.
Dun bother readin this part if you ain't hungry. (below for 1 person. duh)

Noodles
-------
1 pack of Indomie noodles.
Boiling water.
Egg (optional)

Either -
1) Boil on stove for 3 minutes. 1st minute add the egg.
2) Place in boiling water, cover.(without egg)

Then, drain water and add seasoning.

MilkMiloMochaBlah
-----------------
Ingredients are screwed up.
Basically, pour milo powder with a bit of coffee powder.
Then pour only a bit of hot water, and stir.
Use milk for water instead.
Ingredients can be changed.
Includes condensed milk, honey, Hershey's chocolate syrup, cinnamon etc
It tastes damn good with cinnamon, but don't overdo it or...bleagh

Done with that.

Anyways we slept early. Dumbortz fell asleep at about 5.00
J and him went upstairs at 5.30
S0aP L0rD slept at 5.45
Only me, Bugs and MegaDeath stayed up until 6.30.
Was supposed to sleep at 7.30 lol.

The water battle in the afternoon was AWESOME.
Me, MegaDeath and Elson were fillin up the water balloons when it started to rain.
Heavily.
Well...we got wet.
And we....did nothing!
It was a bit cold, but felt really good.
There was someone burning rubbish, so we all ran out in the rain...and tried to put it out. Duh.

Somehow, between the rain and the hose, it kept burning.
Don't even ask.

Anyway we were all drenched, so we decided to start anyway.
Played slayer first, teams could revive dead guys...you know, tap them.
The catch was, the extra guy was kinda like a neutral creep. Very hostile creep.
It was Bugs, and the fag kept double crossing us.
I mean triple crossing.
Err...quadra-crossing.
Never mind.

And he had the best weapon. The team to kill him gets his services.
So he'd tell us to ambush the others, then run up to them and get killed.
Then he'll lead them to us.
Then he'll shoot them. (Team Kill)
Lolz...

The garden resembled a swamp by then. Bugs and J did the Tenacious D power slide ^__^
Looked cool lol. They were wearing long pants.
I tried in shorts.
Ouch....><
Well...I'm a 'tard remember? Not Platinum for nothin...

J had a nice drum set too.

ok...now for the dumb part. The stupid things said/done by us.

3)On the way to J's house. (phone with Soap Lord)

JA: Hello? Where are you now?

SL: At J's house.

JA: Wahlau...so fast.

JA: Who is there?

SL: Ivan.

JA:.....

2)After the party, at Dumbortz's house

DR:Eh...

JA:What?

DR: Why you didn't wake me up earlier?

JA:.....

DR: Oh yeah...I woke up first.

1)Talking about Alwyn's mum's friend.
I mentioned that he was at their house often.

J: I remember that guy

JA: Yeah, he was there when we stayed over.

J: Eh...but...

JA: What?

J:....How did he get in?

Man...we couldn't stop laughin. Me and Dumbortz fell down.
But this one really owns
*When we calmed down*

J: But seriously.

JA: What?

J: Like...how did he get in? I didn't hear the doorbell....

Bugs and MegaDeath stared as we collapsed out of the doorway, laughin our asses off.
Took us a while to explain that he was there before we came.

O well...

New Game Mode!

2007-12-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

Y'all know I was at Alwyn's house right?
Me and Street2Fifa were swimmin in the pool.
Alwyn was using Forge, Hanna and Emily were shopping.
Anyway, we decided to have a round of "Halo"

We were whacking each other into submission when the rest arrived.
Emily, who was carrying our stuff, dropped my shirt into the pool.
It was still not too late to take it out, only the bottom was wet.
I swam towards it...

Suddenly, Street2fifa shouted,"I'll save your shirt!"
He threw a nearby lifesaver at my shirt, pushing it under.
Yes, he tried to save my shirt with a lifesaver (you know, the tube)
If he keeps this up, he'll be Platinum in no time.

Anyway...
So, using the lifesaver, the new game mode is: Capture The Fag.
Yup, we caught him, pinned him against the wall while Alwyn whipped him with my shirt
Sweet.

[J0HnA55]

This is starting to piss me off. Really.

2007-12-04T20:26:00.000+08:00

Dammit...

I am very, very proud to announce that JP'07 has been postponed for the 5th time.
It will be held on Monday and Tuesday, just slightly later this time.

JA: So..when the hell will it be?

J: Monday.

JA: What date is that?

J: Two days after Saturday.

JA:....

Dudes...I feel your pain. Really.

It had to be done.
If not:

1) It will be only 1 day - Saturday
2) We will have to take a taxi to J's house, and pay for it too

So..it's on Monday.

However, we're having a arms race.
Can all retards going to JP'07 bring balloons (ammo)
We're gonna have a nice little tau pok session...
WAHAHAaHAAHAaHA!!!

P.S. Pls dun spam in the cbox. A promo is happening *hint* *hint*

I AM HERE!!!

2007-12-03T16:04:00.000+08:00

Prenote from JA:
Street2fifa has been promoted to Gold for stupidity.
Look at these three stuff, taken during his tuition.

Teacher: Make a sentence with screech.
St2f: I screech my teacher's car.

Teacher: We will help you and never _______ you.
St2f: Assist.

Teacher: What does selfish mean?
St2f: Sell the fish loh.

W00t...

*back to our great, venerable and rotund Leader

J0HnA55 and Street2fifa are at my house 2day and will be staying over for 2 reasons

1 no. - HHHHHAAAAAALLLLLLOOOOOOO 3333333333
2 no. - My room has a view of the pool (Bugs feel free 2 drop by any time i will give u the window seat)

JA: Duh.
St2f: Fark man!

Ahhh words of true retards...
Now ass J0HnA55 Hits my bed 2 the tune of teenagers by MCR Street2Fifa joins in...

JA: woot!!!!
St2f: Faaaaark you lahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish i had a camera...

JA: Then we could show Bugs the pics of the pool (and its inhabitants)
I guess he'd fall off the balcony if he was there

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I farted and J0hnA55 is choking on the fumes and yelling out the window!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA!

JA: EVACUATE THE DAMN BUILDING!!! CALL IN THE BIO WEAPON SPECIALISTS!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *CouGh* *couGH* *HacK* *CouGh*

St2f: (lookin out the window) Fark yeah!
JA: U'd rather look outside? Soon they'll smell it too!!

HAAHAHAHA....Why Has it gone all quiet lol oh well ...

*********Words Of Retardity*********

Spamming is like winning in the "Special" Olympics
Although you win you are still a retard

************************************

Now I'll go and play Halo 3 again...LIVE rocks!!!!
St2f: FARK YEAAAH!!!!!
JA: (screaming and running out of the room) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAAAAAAAAHAAAHAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAHHAHAAAHAAAHAHAAAHAAAHA!!!!!!

Halodude4eva

yeah. right.

2007-12-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

JP'07 is HERE!!!
Saturday.

Make your damn arrangements now.
I may revamp XtReMe HiTz..

Can y'all see...is Dance Floor Anthem or The River by Good Charlotte better?
Oh and the unchosen songs I'll put into V8b!
lol

We have 2 new 'tardz...
Zero and Garf...

Welcome dudes...

Oh and I am not the only admin.

The others are Halodude, Bugs and SoapLord.

SoapLord has no internet.
Bugs has no internet.
And Halodude shall post tomorrow.

TomorroW! I go to his house!
We and Street2fifa shall play ONLINE!!!
The Halo 3 fans shall know of retardity!
And let Halodude's words of stupidity *blah blah blah*

yeah...

probably more I wanted to post...
But I forgot ^__^

cya y'all

[J0HnA55]

WaaAAAaAAAaAAAaH

2007-12-01T14:19:00.000+08:00

Yeah. Waah.
J is a FRIGGIN idiot.
I called to confirm JP'07.

JA: So are we having 3 days and 2 nights?

J: No.

JA: Cmon man...ask

J: No means no. Hehehe.

JA: ....

JA:....

J: wad?

JA: So *Blah blah blah blah*

J: Can you call later? I can't concentrate?

JA: why?

J: watching TV...

wtf. first he made me and halodude wait 4 hours, now it's all of us 6 months!!!
oh anyway here's teh pics of that guy.

note the nice bend in the barrier...

STOP!!!

2007-11-26T21:51:00.000+08:00

yeah...stop.
Stop planning, packing and thinking about JP'07.

....

Cuz that idiot J has "postponed" it to NEXT Saturday.
Dammit..and I was just getting started.

Well too bad, lol.
The story is sumthin like this:
J calls me on Sunday and says, "My party is next Saturday"

WOOHOO!! Right?

Then, after posting the below announcement...
I make a very interesting call. (sumthin like that anyway)

JA: "Hello. Jackie? Has your party been confirmed yet?"

J: "Yeah. Next Saturday"

JA: "You mean this Saturday..."

J: "No...next Saturday"

JA: "But you told me yesterday...next Saturday"

J: "Sunday is already near the new week what..."

JA: "...."

Yeah. I'm still speechless.
This really screws up plans.
Hope all of the usual can make it.

Btw...for u 'tardz out there...
They are: Dumbortz, Bugs, Halodude4eva, Soap Lord, Lord MegaDeath and me.
Duh...pls comfirm if u get on.

This be BIG.

2007-11-26T11:33:00.000+08:00

This post be BIG. duh.

First things first. Thx to Bugs, a new rank has been created.
Platinum with Dishonor.
We can't exile a spammin retard cuz spammin is good.
But too much is irritating, so we send them up straight to Platinum. Dishonored tho.

Lolz.
Roflmao.
Ha

Hahaha

HaHAHAhAHAHAHHAhaAhA! duh...

ok, now's what y'all been waitin' for.
JP'07 is HERE!!!!
OOH YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

well...almost here.
Now there's some problems, it's meant to be on the 1st of December.
Yeah, that's this Saturday.
BUT....it's not confirmed, and may be in TWO WEEKS TIME!!!!
AaAaaArrRRrrgGGhH!!!!!!!

Ok but if it is on Saturday, it may or may not last until Monday.
Hope like hell guys...

Now anyway here's some stuff to think about while waiting.

1) J's House.

Noting that J's father is a (multi?) millionaire, his house is friggin nice.
There's a HUGE garden, with bushes, ponds, statues, a hut, sinks(?!) and a water sprinkler. The landscape is enough for a damn good water battle. oh and someone get the balloons. We need 'nadez.

The inside is damn nice too. In fact, there are lots of secrets. Sliding panels, secret doors, even a secret toilet(!?) Well..not that secret anymore.

2)Stuff

Usual..XtReMe HiTz v8 is done, so more headaches for the poor driver >< lolz
Having a Halo 3 huge party, especially if someone can get a 360 LAN cable.
Seriously...Pls SOMEEBODY GET A 360 LAN CABLE!!!
We can play 4 player campaign AND 8 player Multiplayer!!!! w00t!!!

Maybe there's a PS3 or Wii...I dun rly know..
Could go to IOI mall like last time...
And there's a Cybercafe nearby. Lai lai lai DotA DotA!!
lolz.

The stuff around is good enough.
The food rox anyway.
And there's a MUSIC room so we can blast our heads away.

Noting the TV in Jackie's bedroom...no sleep man. Until 7 am or sumthin.

Anyway on a side note, the theme song (duh?) for JP'07 is The Great Escape.
Cuz anyway we "escape from normality to a place with all retardity.
Like a bunch of mental patients from an asylum.
This is gonna be SO much fun.

Oh and we're gonna make some videos on JP.
A promo (Halo)
And a film (parody of Tenacious D)
It's gonna be wild.

So anyway jus keep waitin and hoping ok?

[Ur A55 Be Pwn3d]

[J0HnA55]

Special Offer, w00t

2007-11-19T15:17:00.000+08:00

Hey ppl...decided to post an official response here.
Well, I used to sell the albums...
But now, it's different.
Anyway all you guys, this is for continuing to check this out.
And for the 'tardz (duh)
I'm really sick of Bugs stealing my CDs.
Really.

So anyway, all you need is MSN.
If I'm on, or post a time on the blog, I'll send you the album or any song for free!

W00t.

Especially When I'm Gone...It's nice lolz.

Oh and it's the Soap Lord's Bday comin' up on Wednesday, 21 November.
He's only having a small party, since he moved to Austin Heights (near Tebrau City)
O_o that's damn far...he should have celebrated before, but what the heck.
Well anyway from all the 'tardz..Happy Birthday Soapy! May your soap never stop lathering and your sinks never run dry! Wahahahaha! lolz...

XtReMe HiTz Confirmed!

2007-11-18T14:21:00.000+08:00

It's done!
XtReMe HiTz has been finalised.

Album art ^__^

This is the track list:
The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls
The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars
Dance Dance - Fall Out Boy
Bleed It Out - Linkin Park
When I'm Gone - Simple Plan
Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Teenagers - My Chemical Romance
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
Into Oblivion - Funeral For A Friend
Just One - Hoobastank
Breath - Breaking Benjamin
Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston
Dance Floor Anthem - Good Charlotte
Noots - Sum 41
Valentine's Day - Linkin Park
Way I Are - Timbaland
Jenny - The Click Five
Sorry, Blame It On Me - Akon
How To Save A Life - The Fray
Thanks For The Memories - Fall Out Boy
Time Of Your Life - Green Day

It's Done!
Weeh! Weeh!

[JA]

Hey y'all we need your help...

2007-11-18T13:11:00.000+08:00

XtReMe HiTz v8 is set for completion...
However...there are too many songs.
I know, I know.
We do this everytime.
But now we have a blog, here's a poll.

Please post ur answers in the cbox.

1) Timbaland - The Way I Are OR Apologize
2)Fall Out Boy - Dance, Dance OR Sugar We're Goin Down
3) Akon - Sorry Blame It On Me OR Don't Matter

Oh and if anyone knows where to download Simple Plan's latest single
"When I'm Gone"
Pls post it too.
The song rocks!!

[JA]

*Update*
Ignore the When I'm Gone part.
I got it.
Woohoo.

Like OMGWTFBBQH4XX0R

2007-11-14T22:52:00.001+08:00

Holy Shit
Some of you guys don't know JP'07??
OMGWTFBBQH4XX0R

JP = Jackie's Party
Jackie = J
J = Jackie
duh...

Jackie's Party = JP
2007 = '07
JP'07 = PurE Pwn4g3!!

It's the freakin' best party every year
J's house be freakin' big
J's stuff be freakin' cool
Add a HUGE Plasma TV, Halo 3, XboX 360s, great food, great music, PS3, water battles, Tenacious D, Jackass and a bunch of retards...
See what I mean?

Damn...and it's only in NOvember!!!
AAAAAAARGGH the anticipation is killin me.

You smell like my dick in incubation

2007-11-08T14:49:00.000+08:00

Says me to [J0HnA55] at my kopitiam.
Boredom.
Nvm 'bout taht.

We feel like gettin headquarters.
Since it's retard HQ, got lots of retard problems.
Places include my kopitiam, J0Hn's centre and my house spare room.
Anyone got suggestions?

power overwhelming
show me the money
black sheep wall
operation cwal

*Notice*
Bugs has been banned from posting for a week for spam in his OWN post
[JA]

nvm bout him...

can't get the pics yet, they'll come soon.
In about..2 days. Retard days. Ummmm...duuh
We even thought of making a retard intro for the blog.
It's taken from Tribute by Tenacious D, a friggin symphony of dumb noises.
all hail Tenacious D!

That's about all...

Oh yeah, Lord MegaDeath has been banned for a day (retard day)
For blatant insubordination against the game of the highest authority
Halo 3 (duh) All hail Halo 3!!!!
CoD 4 may be fun, but NOTHIN BEATS HALO 3!!!
AHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh and I miss Jackie

[Bugs]

Ok....

2007-11-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

Well...
Our recent exile has been welcomed back
(BLACKMAIL!! ARRGGHH!!!!)
You know, he's the J in JP anyway...
Damnit he's got invulnerability here.

So anyway, he has been upgraded to Platinum.
For stupidity that caused injury.
Here we go...

The 'tard was stayin with me at Alwyn's house
We went back to Malaysia, linked up with Bugs to drop him off at Leisure Mall
He needed to go to the bus stop outside
So, y'all know the automatic barriers at the outdoor carpark?
He waited for the car to pass, then crossed.
Me and Bugs stood still...as if we knew what would happen next.
The barrier came down, he swerved left...*Crack*
Next thing we knew, (OW!!!! OW!!!!!)
Came down on his head, the damn barrier was BENT.
We took pics, but Bugs went MIA for the time being.
So it'll be in the next post.
Keep visitin...

[J0HnA55]

This Is An Official Announcement

2007-11-03T01:34:00.000+08:00

This is an announcement of the highest order.
It was discussed by the top-ranking 'tardz and agreed upon.
Firstly, through our venerable grace and eternal kindness
We have unexiled LordMegaDeath, and pardoned his sins against retardkind.
But only to EXILE ANOTHA!!

Due to uncompeteable incompetence and outstanding (bad) idiocy
None other than the infamous J!!! has been exiled.
(and not 'cause of Halo)
(Seriously. Trust Us)

For wasting 5 hours of human time
Which could be spent playing Halo 3, DotA, spamming, farting etc.
(not his time you 'tardz, ours)
(Specifically, our venerable leader and [JA])
Cuz of blah blah blah and blah blah blah
And *paste text here*
Our leader was confined at home for 5 hours extra without companionship (retarded 1)
And missed an Xbox Live match on Halo 3.
[JA] wandered around a bus interchange for half a friggin hour like an idiot
And...well that's bad enough. Not to mention the 5 hours for him too
Sittin at home like a 'tard starin at 'tarded walls
I dunno why..NOt the point anyway.

O well

By order of our leader, assistant leader, [JA] and [Bugs]
J is exiled for a retard week.
That's...what was it again?
I can't remember, type the specifications in the cbox to remind us.
Was it 240 hours on Monday, or only 12 then 800 for Tuesday, without Wednesday...etc
Or..until JP'07!
On JP'07, ALL exiles are pardoned to celebrate!
Same with JA Xmas....

O for ur info
These are the retard holidays

17th June - [JA] Bday Parteh! (or somewhere in June who cares anyway)
14th July - Our leader's Bday
JP!! - Unspecified date
JA Xmas - Somewhere after mid December, can't bother to be specific.
The Xiled next to me is beggin to be PWNED

[Admin]

Gah...

2007-10-27T21:56:00.000+08:00

Lol...the holidays are here and I'm already bored...
All teh guys studyin in Malaysia are busy, gd luck with ur exams..
Before the main part of this post, I've got some crap to say.

Firstly, I dun want to go to Irwin's lengths on spamming.
Spamming is fun, I know, and we dun mind it.
But when ur spam doesn't make sense, or it's just to flame someone, it sux
Can y'all pls dun spam so much?
Like if you wanna repeat a word, it's fine. Twice, thrice, ten times, ok.
But not 30 FrIggIn TimEs!!!!
srsly...

Ok and since I'm/We're so bored, there's gonna be a lot of posts..
Keep checking the blog for more stuff

Now for the main part...
This "story" has a reference to real life.
If you realize it, try not to tell to early, let others see the light...
The idea was by Bugs, he helped me with this.
Credz to Chris Metzen for the original story
This is a (screwed up) small part of it.

When the orcs formed the Horde from all the warring clans...
They needed a strong leader, who could hold it together by brute force
Nothing else was needed...
So they chose Blackhand, the strongest of them all, who proved himself earlier.
Clearing the Black Morass was no easy feat, and the orcs recognized this.
But their appointers, Gul'dan and Cho'gall, used him as a puppet leader.
Behind the scenes, they ruled supreme, and Blackhand was their instrument.

Anyway, the point is:
Blackhand was stupid. Very stupid. But he was strong, so he was chosen to rule.
Gul'dan and Cho'gall ruled together as part of the Shadow Council.
Hmm..I wonder what that reminds me of..(Check the clan stats 'tardz for hints)
Especially when in the Shadow Council, two spoke most...

[J0HnA55] [Bugs]

Tenacious D Promo Cont'

2007-10-23T22:41:00.000+08:00

Here it be:
(For u 'tardz, scroll down for earlier part)

I hear you brave young Jackie
You are hungry for the spam
But to learn the ancient methods
Practice first the ancient jam

Escape your father's clutches
And this non-spamming neighbourhood
On a journey you must go
To find the land of Spammywood...

In the city of spamming retards
Where the ocean meets the sand
You will form a strong alliance
And the world's most awesome clan

To find your spamming fortune
Spam as much as you can
You will face your inner demons
Now go, my son and spam!!

So Jackie bailed from Johor Bahru
With hunger in his heart
And travelled far and wide
To learn the secrets of his art
But in the end he knew that he would find his counterpart...

Spaaaaam!
Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!
Spaaaaaa-*cough*

Credz...lol

Well, these credz are not for the promo, it's for the blog as a whole
Thanks a lot to notforspammers, for giving ideas
Thanks to Bugs for helping with the bullshit
And also to all the visitors...keep spamming -_-

listen up 'tardz

2007-10-22T21:11:00.000+08:00

Ok, ok...
Here we go

First up...

To LeN...
Look, I've posted why your rank dropped in cbox about three times already
If you missed that, it's not entirely your fault.
The post was deleted by incessant spamming.
The guy who did it knows who he is...He's really "bugging" me
Hehe

Anyway...
Due to another rank (With Honors) being created for our wonderful leaders,
We have had to push all of you down one (except those in Platinum)
So you are not the only one, can you stop asking me every time I call you ><

Next, I know y'all can't wait for JP'07
It is coming!
Good Luck to all of you who are sitting for your exams anyway...
After that, our venerable leader may buy an Xbox connector
You see, Jackie has multiple TVs right?
And we have multiple 360s right?
So....

As for the H3 promo, due to unforseen circumstances, it will be postponed...

O yeah, and I got an Xbox 360 ^__^
Halo 3 ROOOOOOOOOOOCKS!!!
I can't emphasize it any more
Halo 3 ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCCKSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just be waitin for JP'07
The four player co-op means that Bugs and the exiled cannot hog the Xbox anymore

Be seein' y'all soon
Seriously.
Trust Me.

[J0HnA55]

Another promo...

2007-10-18T19:58:00.000+08:00

Warning: The below text should not be taken seriously, unless you are a retard or spammer.

(a parody of Tenacious D)

A really long ass time ago
In a town called J.Bahru
There lived a humble family
Very simple through and through

But hey, there was a black sheep, and he knew just what to do

His name was young Jackie and he refused to step in line
A vision he did see of spamming bullshit all the time
He wrote a stupid jam and all the planets did align

"Oh, the Warthog's tires were blazing as I stepped outside the base
Saw Bugs got sliced open by J0HnA55's energy blade
'Twas I who took down J0HnA55, with a SMG or two
And if you try to blow me up then I will shoot you too

Gotta start to own in the Halo zone
Gotta blow you up in the Halo zone
Don't let me hear you cry, don't let me hear you moan
You will all get owned in the Halo zone"

You disobeyed my orders, son
Why were you ever born?
Your brother's ten times better than you
Cuz you spam a lot more
This spamming that you've typed for us
Comes from mental hospitals
Spamming is the retard's work
He wants you to be dumber

You'll become a mindless retard
Alwyn will pull the strings
Your brain will lose direction
And chaos it will bring...

You better watch your posts, you better watch your chat
You're grounded for a week with no Internet
Don't let me see you frown, don't let me hear you fret
You better not spam again or I'll stop all that

Ivan, can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone
I'm asking for your guidance
Won't you come down from your throne

I need the dumbest retard
Who can teach me how to spam
So that I can fill the cbox
With my monster mamojams

Spam is but a retard's work
It's magical and rad
I'll never spam as long as
I am stuck here with my dad...

To be continued...

[PwnZ0r3D]

2007-10-14T18:40:00.000+08:00

Lord MegaDeath is known otherwise as Micheal Tan Wen Long...
To Micheal :
You had it coming, you idiot.
We warned you.
You saw the signs.
Now you shall pay for your crimes against retardity.
*Lord MegaDeath has been bust by the Hammer of Retardity*
*Then he is exiled for a week*
*Too bad we retards dunno how to count..there's Monday, and Monday, and Monday and...*

For those of you who missed the Tenacious D promo, here's the script...

*Chris Metzen spams about the intelligence of Bugs*
JA: Spammer s-hit...whoeva you are..I challenge u to a rockoff!!
Give me one chance to rock your socks off
CM: Fark! Fark! FaaarrK!!! The Blizzard code prevents me from declining a rockoff challenge. What are your terms? What's the ca-a-a-atch...
JA: If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to Azeroth...And also you will have to pay my BattleNet bill...
CM: But what if I win?
JA: *Calls DumboRtz "Hey you, over here! I've got munchies!''
Then you can take DR back to blizzard..To be your little dumbomatic!
CM: Fine...Let the rock off...BEGIN!!!!
AHAHAHAAAAHAAH!!!!
(Storm, Earth and Fire, Heed my Call!) Wild Music starts to play

CM: I'm the vice prez and I love metal!!!! Check this riff it's farkin tasty!!!!
I'm the vice prez and I do what I want, Whatever I've got I'm gonna flaunt
There's never been a rock off that I've ever lost....
I'm gonna take Reutz back to Blizzard
I'm gonna fill him with Pandaren Ale...
I'll make him squeal like a dying Kobold
JA: NOOOOO!!! C'mon Dumbo, let's fight his music with OUR music!!
DR: Wait, the blog is gettin spammed up by Chris Metzen..Let's take this somewhere else...
CM:....

Chris Metzen blinks to Erica's blog and summons JA and DR

CM: I'm waiting...
DR: There's just no way that we can win, that was a masterpiece!
JA: Listen to me
DR: He rocks too hard because he's vice prez of Blizzard
JA: Dammit Reutz! He's gonna make you his dumbomatic, you're gonna gargle Pandaren Ale, unless we type "Whosyourdaddy"..
DR: Dude...We've been through so much s-hit
JA: Deactivated portals with lever sticks...
(Both): Now it's time to blow that Vice Prez down...
CM: AAHHAHAAHA

Chris Metzen blinks to Naomi's blog with them

CM: Gimme your best shot
JA: C'mon Dumbo now it's time to blow doors down
DR: I hear ya J0HnA55 now it's time to blow doors down
JA: Light up the stage cuz it's time for the showdown
DR: We'll bend him over then we'll take him to Kalimdor
(both) Now it's time to blow that vice prez down
DR: He's gonna hex me if we do not blow doors down
JA: C'mon Dumbo cuz it's time to blow doors down!
DR: We'll piledrive him cuz it's time for the smackdown!!

Chris Metzen opens a portal to United Stupidity for the finale..

JA: Hey Warcraft Vice Prez!! Hey BlizzardBoss!!! We know your weakness!! Our rock it sauce!!!
DR: We rock Azeroth! And blow your mind! We will defeat you, for retardkind!!
JA: You have the hammer, we have the cheese! You are the Vice Prez, retards we be!!!
(both) Retards we be Retards we be Retards we be Retards we be X4
CM: You 'tardz are farkin lame.. C'mon Dumbo, you're comin back to Blizzard with me!!
Taste my hammer, farker!!!
JA: NOOOOO!!! (deflects bolt with guitar)
CM: Ow!! My farkin hammer!! Oh no...
JA: From Azeroth you came, you shall remain, until you are a Paladin again!!
CM: Noooooooo!! I'll get you, United Stupidityyy.......

Lord MegaDeath not only interrupted, he spammed the blogs we entered, disrupting the whole thing and causing confusion...

Anyway.....
[Credits]

Chris Metzen for putting up with our use of his name...(some retard from us anyway)
This was why we edited it with some Warcraft stuff
DR and JA will be obvious anyway...
Thanks also to the hosted blogs...Sorry for the spam anyway..
Finally Bugs, who suggested the whole damn thing, and was responsible for choosing the blogs to spam on..A genius is he!

Tenacious D: The Pick Of Destiny will be aired on JP'07...Don't miss it

[Admin]

WOOOO|-|OOOO EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!

2007-10-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

It's Hammer..wait...Party Time!!!!
Unfortunately, only for teh guys studying in Singapore lol....

Finally started working on Xtreme Hitz v8...
These tracks may be included
[Song/Artist]
The Great Escape/Boys Like Girls
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs/Fall Out Boy
Sugar We're Goin' Down/Fall Out Boy
Into Oblivion/Funeral For A Friend
All Hands On Deck/Funeral For A Friend
Time Of Your Life/Green Day
What I've Done/Linkin Park
Bleed It Out/Linkin Park
Valentine's Day/Linkin Park
Teenagers/My Chemical Romance
Master Exploder/Tenacious D
Your Guardian Angel/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

If u have any suggestions leave it in teh cbox...

Also, we've trouble deciding if Jackass or Tenacious D is funnier
Jackass is very, very stupid. Trust me.

Anyway...
Thx to thegreat, theholygrave and othrs who spam for us
I dunno why, but it's good ^__^
Oh and the "warnings" sent out against Bugs are kinda funny
Bugs, you retard, I didn't ask you to spam random (or maybe not so random) blogs...
But it's good anyway too...what do you expect, this is a retarded blog
I think....
(I think? I can Think?!!? Wait, doesn't this sound familiar)

[J0HnA55]

Upgradez

2007-10-08T23:26:00.000+08:00

Upgraded rank...out of boredom mostly ^_^
Check the Clan Statz again...
Anyway the Platinums are the few at tuition lol + Alwyn (of course)
Jus if ya wanted to know....
Been discussing this a while

[Admin]

wooohooo...it's decided

2007-10-06T17:58:00.000+08:00

The moment you’ve all been waiting for…errr….maybe none of you…

Never mind….

We have finally chosen an assistant leader….

None other than…

Soap Lord !!!! AkA Ivan

He’s also now platinum…check the update

Apparently, we forgot that it also applies to those who “risk their life in stupidity”

Ivan actually SAT DOWN in front of my laptop IN FULL VIEW of my MOTHER….

Bravery? Stupidity? You guys decide lol

Another point: (quote from Ivan)

“Dumb shit” (pointing at Bugs)

*waits a while..thinking…. Everyone else is silent*

“All those who talk are dumb shit”

Lolz…. Roflmaol (Rolling on floor laughing my ass off loud)

Shows his decree of intelligence…Sorry, lack of it

Therefore he is now Alwyn’s official assistant..

Good luck Alwyn..ur water bill’s gonna get real high…

^^'